THOSE WHO FORGET THE PAST.....
By Doug Brown on 4/10/2008 10:17 AM
There's an old saying, "Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it." I think about the current state of the WWE writing team whenever I see or hear those words. This past Tuesday on ECW, WWE announced that they have invited Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to settle their differences in the ring one week from this Monday as part of a special three hour Raw event. We know that the real candidates are not going to be there, because it would absolutely be career suicide for them to do so. This whole scenario harkens back to last year's Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell debacle.
For those of you that may not recall (or have probably repressed), WWE had two indie wrestlers dressed as Donald and Rosie come out and have a "match." The entire thing was absolutely horrible, and made me ashamed to be a wrestling fan. The fans booed the entire thing out of the building. On commentary, Jim Ross had several long pauses during the match, which seemed to indicate that he could not believe they were doing this garbage either. The match wound up being one of the nominees for wrestlecrap.com's annual "Gooker of the Year" award, but ultimately lost to the Hornswoggle-McMahon saga.
WWE wonders why they cannot get their ratings to where they used to be during the Monday Night Wars. The McMahons and their staff just do not want to listen, but I will tell you exactly why. It's stuff like this. WWE used to produce cutting edge television. It used to be that every week Raw was the real "Must See TV." There was always something happening, and nearly every segment had meaning. They complain about how difficult it is to produce all those hours of television each week, but most of the time it looks like they are not even trying these days. They just throw things out there, and hope we buy into it. Then in the media, they try to pass it off as the business just being cyclical. With all that bull, I'm guessing that's why they did not need Mantaur anymore.
WWE's problems are absolutely fixable. It's amazing, because TNA's problem is thinking too much, and WWE's problem is not thinking enough. There has got to be a happy middle ground in there somewhere. That's where I come in. Here are some suggestions to at least getting them started on the right road.
1.) Start thinking outside the box - With Smackdown being in Boston this week, wouldn't it have been a wise idea to have John Cena make a surprise appearance in his hometown? Instead of the main event they did choose, which I won't spoil for you, how about putting the two main events together in a six man tag? You could have had Cena, Triple H, and the Undertaker vs. Edge, Randy Orton, and JBL. That would be a lot more interesting than the two handicap matches we had on Raw. I don't know if it is Vince or Stephanie that loves handicap matches so much, but to me, they have been done so much that I just really don't have any interest in seeing them anymore. Plus by going with the six man idea, it might help put some babyface heat back on Cena, which he has not had much of since returning. The other one that has been done to death lately has been the babyface-heel opponents becoming uneasy partners. I'm begging them to please do something different. Even if you don't read the spoilers, you can pretty much predict how each match is going to turn out, because right now they are doing things too buy-the-book.
2.) Have the announcers start showing some interest again - I direct this specifically at Smackdown's Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman. Joey Styles and Tazz sound bored each week, but that is because they have a lousy product to call on Tuesday nights. You two have no excuse. They are so busy talking about the storylines that they seem to forget that there is match going on. How about, I don't know, selling the awesomeness when somebody hits a big move? Instead, they sound like two guys having a polite chat over a game of checkers. Cole used to be one of the most passionate guys out there. I loved it when he would "Damn this," or "Damn that." He still was not that great of an announcer, but at least it seemed like he cared. Coachman is a lost cause. He has always been a guy that seemed not know much about wrestling, and just spewed whatever Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn said into his headset. I wish he would be removed, and someone else, preferably someone that has been a full time wrestler, take his place. To me, Cole was always better when he had an actual wrestler announce with him like JBL and Tazz rather than guys like Coach and his numerous clones that have been brought in over the years.
The sad part is that Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn want the other two announce teams to sound more like Cole and Coach. Styles and Tazz have the potential to be right up there with the great broadcast duos like Ross-Lawler, and Monsoon-Heenan, but they are so overproduced right now it is absolutely ridiculous. The reason for this is because Styles and Tazz have the mindset of wrestling announcers, while the McMahons want them to be "sports entertainment storytellers." Coachman's, "This is not radio," crack on last week's Smackdown was a direct shot at Styles. If they would just turn Joey and Tazz loose, they could draw fans to ECW by themselves. Unfortunately, they sound more and more like Cole and Coach each week, thus making a dull brand even worse.
3.) Start calling the moves again - One of the edicts handed down by Vince was that the announcers should not focus on the moves so much, and instead focus on getting the storylines over. As a result, Ross, Styles, and Cole, have cut back drastically to where we are lucky if they call a handful of moves during an entire match. I think back to Vince McMahon's unauthorized biography that came out a few years ago. One of the stories in there was about when Bonnie Hammer came on board at the USA Network, and was assigned to WWE programming. One of things she stressed to Vince was about making the shows easier to follow in order to attract new viewers. I think it would help attract new viewers if they started naming the moves again. New fans could associate certain moves with a certain wrestler, and thus get involved in their characters. That is one of the reasons I got into it. I realize not every move needs to be called. Heck, I would be happy if they just started naming the finishers, instead of calling it a "What-a-manuever!" For instance, when they had Monty Brown/Marcus Cor Van, they could not call his signature move, the Pounce, because TNA owned the rights to it. (My suggestion would have been the Sarenghetti Smash.) Instead, they just never named it. While he got over with the Pounce in TNA, his move was nameless in WWE, and he didn't get over. One of the big babyfaces when I first got into wrestling in the 80's was Jake "the Snake" Roberts. He was so popular, and his finisher was so popular that fans started chanting "D-D-T," before the bell even rang to start the match. By not naming the moves, to me, it sends a message that what the wrestlers do isn't important, and thus your show isn't important. That is a very bad message to send. I think it is very possible to call moves and still get the storyline across. All it requires is just some extra thought.
4.) Accept reality - Though he kept his mouth shut, I am sure it killed Vince to have the Hall of Famers, including Ric Flair, keep referring to the business as professional wrestling rather than sports entertainment. "We don't do wrestling. We make movies." WWE is the biggest wrestling organization in the world. The McMahons have built a regional territory into a global empire. Yet, it comes across like they are ashamed to be called a wrestling company. I think rather than shying away from it, they should embrace it. There is a reason that segments like the Diva Search, Rosie vs. Donald, the Teddy Long-Krystal Marshall wedding, and Clinton vs. Obama were (and will be) booed out of the building. The audience is tired of seeing this junk. It's not sports, and it's not even entertaining. You have a roster that consists of John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Mick Foley (yes, he's still under contract), Randy Orton, JBL, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga, Kane, C.M. Punk, the Undertaker, Batista, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Edge, the Big Show, and MVP. I left out Jeff Hardy, who is suspended, and Rey Mysterio, who is injured, but they would be included in that mix also if available. I think I speak for everyone out there, when I say that I would rather see any combination of these guys than an imposter Hillary, and an imposter Obama.
I absolutely urge WWE to reconsider doing this idea of a Clinton vs. Obama match. No good can come from it, and hasn't this business already had enough black eyes this week?
