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Welcome to the first edition of the Ominous Thoughts News Report on PWInsider Xtra! I’m going to try and make this a weekly thing where I look back at all the news that’s fit to report over the course of the previous week and give my thoughts on the goings on. So let’s get started with…
The Big News
First thing that obviously needs to be talked about is the continuing saga of the Hogan family, specifically the jail tapes that came out this past week. While I won't get as overly dramatic as Nancy Grace, I have to agree with her on how crappy it is of the Hogans to disregard John Graziano (referring to him as a negative person who brought this on himself) and look for ways to make money on a really bad situation. I think we all expected this out of the Hogans, and I think we all knew what kinds of people they really are, and not a one of us believed for a second that there was any serious remorse for what happened.
The thing is that even though Nick Hogan is the one who drank and drove, and he is the one who drove in such a way that Graziano is now a vegatable, and he is the one who came up with the idea to make a reality show out of it, and he does deserve to get the finger pointed at him, I think that the finger also needs to be pointed at Hulk and Linda. I'm one of those people who believe that parenting mainly determines how a child will turn out, not Marilyn Manson, not Mortal Kombat, and not violent TV shows and movies. Nick Hogan was obviously raised in an environment where there were no consequences for anything he ever did, and as such felt like he could do pretty much anything without facing repercussions for it.
I grew up one town over from Chappaqua, NY (which you might recognize as home of the Clintons and other people more disgustingly wealthy than anyone has any right to be), and sometimes in high school, I hung out with some of the kids from Chappaqua. They were all generally nice people and fun to hang out with, but they all seemed to have the same basic problems: total lack of parenting (a lot of these kids were more or less raised by au pairs while the fathers were working and the mothers shopping), severe substance abuse problems, and absolutely no accountability for anything they ever did. These were the kinds of kids who got an expensive car for their 16th birthday, smacked it up within weeks, and then mommy and daddy went out and bought them a new one. The kids from Chappaqua never seemed to have to answer for anything negative that ever happened in their lives, and if it was big enough, their parents had the money and connections to cover for them.
Nick Hogan was apparently raised in an very similar environment, in that he felt that he had free reign because his dad would always bail him out. Obviously he turned out to be wrong and he did something that his father couldn't get him out of, but not before the damage was done. For as many problems as Nick has, he is 100% a product of the artificial environment created by Hulk and Linda, and there is no more glaring evidence of this than the fact that Hulk bought them the beer and gave them the car to go cruising around in afterward. As far as I'm concerned, Hulk is every bit as responsible for what happened as Nick is.
As for John Graziano, while there is a part of me that feels bad, I'm going to go ahead and say he should have known better than to get in the car with Nick. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that he's going to be in this condition most likely for the rest of his life, but another thing that goes back to parenting is that my folks didn't usually meddle in my social life, but told me to be smart about who I was hanging out with and what we were doing. It's no secret that Nick Hogan was known to be out of control when it came to the driving, and it would just seem like good sense to not get in the car with somebody like that after they've been drinking. I do have some sympathy, just not as much as I guess everyone else does. He should have known better.
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The 2008 draft has been announced, and will happen in I believe three weeks. I have to admit I really don't pay much attention to these things anymore. I also have to admit that I think this year's draft will be less meaningful than previous years simply due to the fact that there's so much more crossover than there used to be. But it's happening, and I'm going to give my thoughts on who should jump and to where.
Super Crazy, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick should all go to ECW. ECW is essentially a televised developmental territory for WWE, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that at this point. These guys have all been successful enough that they're beyond being considered at the developmental level, but one of the other things about a developmental territory (and in a sense, the original ECW) is that they're also places where wrestlers in need of a second career wind can go to get back on track. I think all three of these guys are in serious need of a little bit of life being breathed into their careers, and ECW would be a great place to put them for a while to build up some new momentum.
Over on Smackdown, I'd put Elijah Burke, Charlie Haas, Umaga, and Chris Jericho. Burke has certainly done his time in ECW, but I think he's gotten all he's going to get out of working in ECW for now, and it's time to actually do something with him. He can talk and work, and I think Smackdown would be the perfect place to start to move him up the card. Jericho's been doing okay for himself on Raw, but he hasn't hit the level I think a lot of people expected him to. His return to WWE fell flat and he's been struggling since then, and I think he'd be a good person to put on Smackdown, where he can be a top guy and has the kind of star power and ability to help him carry a feud with a Batista. Umaga's hit a wall, he's not going to get seriously pushed on Raw, so move him to Smackdown and let him just run amok there to rebuild him as a monster. Haas is going nowhere fast on Raw, especially now that Heat's being shut down. Put him back on Smackdown where he's always been more successful, and give him a partner or mouthpiece that can do his talking while he does the working.
Over on Raw, I'd give them Finlay, CM Punk, Batista, and Jesse & Festus. Jesse & Festus are over in the goofy kind of way that would be perfect for Raw. I was hesitant at first to name Finlay for a move to Raw because he's such a good worker, but he's also shown himself to be well liked enough by management to be put in some pretty important feuds, including one with Vince McMahon himself. I think he'd do fine there. Batista has been largely stagnant the last few years when he hasn't been in the ring with Undertaker or Edge, and moving him to Raw would give him a new batch of opponents to work with and reenergize him. Finally is CM Punk, who is Mr Money In The Bank and needs to be built as a top guy on the top show if he's going to be a challenger TO the top guy. Put him in the ring with Michaels, Hunter, Orton, whoever, and even if he doesn't win the matches, have him look really good in defeat to show that he can hang with these guys (and he can), so that he'll be believable when he gets that title shot.
Finally, there are people who should not leave where they are under any circumstances. Topping this list is both Hardyz. Matt's riding the high point of his singles career right now, and would never get as strong a push on Raw. Jeff, meanwhile, is still looked at by the fans as a top guy in spite of his recent issues, and putting him on Smackdown would be moving him backwards, and there is still the slightest glimmer of a chance that he can get there someday. MVP is basically the #2 heel on Smackdown behind Edge, and some might even say he's a better heel. Like Hardy, he wouldn't get the same spot on Raw, and may very well move into the top heel challenger role if Undertaker beats Edge this weekend. Finally, Colin Delaney, Kofi Kingston, and Shelton Benjamin are all right where they need to be, and have a lot of work to be done before anyone even thinks of moving them to Raw or Smackdown.
I get the feeling I'm putting a lot more thought into this than WWE is, because every time they do a draft it seems like there are guys who get drafted literally for the hell of it, and then nothing is ever done with them again. Kenny Dykstra, anyone? But hopefully they'll at least do a few of these, because I feel like these are the guys who need to move to freshen things up.
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I'm having a hard time trying to decide what to say about the million dollar giveaway. I think all the jokes about WWE sinking so low that they're literally paying people to watch them have been made, though the temptation is there. I will say, however, that I haven't seen this kind of desperation out of WWE since they gave away the house in 1995.
I think the mistake that WWE's making in doing this is that, as usual, they're not addressing the real problems that are causing people to stop watching. The problem isn't that WWE fans are sitting at home saying “Hey, I really love watching WWE, but dammit, I'm going to hold out until they start giving out money to watch!†No, the problem is that the show isn't interesting to anyone other than the absolute diehards and the people who don't know that there's other, better wrestling shows out there. To all the others who have been tuning out like crazy, the show's boring, the wrestlers they're pushing are not interesting, everyone other than the main eventers is completely interchangeable, and nobody has any kind of personality.
By giving away the million dollars a week, people might tune back in and give it another chance, but they're going to be stuck watching a show they don't enjoy and forcing themselves to watch it for the money is just going to remind them how little they enjoy it because I guarantee you that WWE is just going to feed them the same show they always do, and they think it's just a matter of getting people to understand what they're doing. I've got news for WWE, they've been cramming the same boring product down our throats for years, and the ratings have gone steadily downward ever since. Even the McMahons have to be cognizant of the real problem, but they refuse to admit it, and more to the point, refuse to do anything about it because there's nobody beating them in the ratings right now.
That said, their own ratings are hitting pretty critical levels, and eventually it's going to get to a point where somebody high up is going to call them on it. As WCW discovered, there's only so many cheap tricks you can do to pop a one week rating. People will tune in for Hogan vs Goldberg, but then forget about it the next week because the rest of the show still sucks. WWE needs to realize that this is deeper than something that just needs a quick fix.
Other Newsbits
A fan hopped the rail and attacked La Familia at the Smackdown taping this past week. He was said to have gotten a shot or two in before being subdued and removed. The following night at Raw, another fan jumped the rail and, while he didn’t attack anyone, was also subdued and held at ringside until the local police showed up and arrested him.
A bit strange to see something like this happen two nights in a row, but the Smackdown incident should serve as a friendly reminder as to what will happen to overzealous fans. One might ask what a single fan can do to five big, tough wrestlers, but you can really never be too careful because you don't know what a crazy fan like this might have on him.
The 5/27 edition of Raw only did a 2.9 cable rating, one of its worst ratings in many years. Only three quarters broke a 3.0.
I really ought to write a book exclusively devoted to WWE's excuses as to why the ratings are so low, because it seems they have a new one every week. Part of the fun I get out of reading PWInsider is just hearing what each week's excuse will be. I don't think we're at all far off from this:
“This week's edition of Raw had a negative rating. Nobody's quite sure how they managed this, but internally, they're blaming it on icebergs floating around the Arctic Ocean. Nobody's quite sure how this affects ratings since no WWE viewers are known to live on icebergs, but then nobody's really sure where WWE viewers DO live these days, so the explanation was accepted at face value. Next week's episode, which will feature John Cena wrestling himself in a Three Stages Of Hell match, is expected to improve the rating.â€
Former WCW announcer Mark Madden was removed from his ESPN radio show after making remarks he was disappointed that Senator Edward Kennedy, who has been diagnosed with brain cancer, may not live long enough to be assassinated like his brothers.
Are people really surprised by this? When was Mark Madden ever considered a proponent of good taste? He's parlayed his generally obnoxious nature into steady employment for some years now, and it's too bad that he lost the radio gig, because he does have a face for radio.
Gregory Helms has been served with a criminal summons on charges of assault and battery, stemming from an incident on 5/6 in which he was involved in a scuffle at a bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Helms specifically avoid hitting the guy because he didn't want any legal trouble? So much for that. This really sucks for Helms because he didn't ask for trouble, didn't even want to beat him up to make a point, and now he's going to have to spend money on a lawyer just because the jerk who picked a fight with him is looking to get something out of it. Life just has a way of sucking sometimes, I guess.
Bobby Lashley hade his first wrestling appearance since leaving WWE when he defeated Jared Steele on 5/24 for Booker T’s PWA in Texas. He was said to have worked a physical style as opposed to a “safer†one.
This is refreshing to hear, because one would think that an ex-WWE star, especially on who had been promoted as heavily as he had, would be selling indy appearances on his name more than on his matches. It could be that he just put in an extra effort due to being buddies with Booker, but one way or the other I'm really glad to hear he was working hard, especially since I didn't think too much of him when he was in WWE.
Sabu’s back is said to be in terrible shape, and word is that he was claiming he needs surgery to insert rods into his back and that he’s in so much pain that there’s no way he can or should take bumps.
This really paints more of the picture of Sabu's departure from WWE. Sabu has been known to be a flake over the years, that's for sure, but the fact that he's this badly injured may go some way toward explaining some of the irrational behavior toward the end of his WWE run. Sure, the money's nice and it's easy to say that he was an idiot for behaving the way he did on the way out, but when you're in that kind of pain, it must be really hard to motivate yourself to keep coming to work, especially when your job is to get more beat up night in and night out. As for his good buddy Rob...
Former WWE star Rob Van Dam has announced he will work for Europe's NWE on their June 12 through 15 tour in Spain.
Wait a minute, I thought Rob Van Dam said he didn't want to work indies anymore! Seriously though, good to see guys getting work after leaving WWE, whether it be in TNA or elsewhere. Let's just hope RVD's been better about saving his money than Sabu has.
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And that's it for me. Hope you enjoyed this, and as I said, I'll try to make this a weekly outing as often as possible. Feedback can be sent to stupwinsider@yahoo.com, so drop me a line and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!
