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Jeff Hardy vs Umaga – Falls Count Anywhere
The Result: Jeff Hardy defeated Umaga with a Swanton Bomb off a truck.
The Real Winner: Umaga
Umaga’s win/loss record hasn’t been the best of late, but this could indicate that he’s preparing to jump to Smackdown. If this is true, much like when doing business on the way out of a territory in the old days, it makes sense to have Umaga put Hardy over on his way out. I have no problem with them doing that, and it’ll make Umaga look that much stronger if he gets a big push upon his arrival on Smackdown.
The Real Loser: Umaga
Then again, if Umaga ends up staying on Raw, he’s done a string of jobs lately that have made him look weaker than a lot of other guys on the brand. Umaga’s proven that he can work and tell a very entertaining story with his matches. However, once you’ve been pushed down the card in WWE, it’s been shown that except in rare cases, the only way to get your heat back is by jumping to another brand. If he’s stuck on Raw for another year and continues to do this many jobs, he’s going to hit Kenny Dykstra level sooner rather than later.
Big Show vs CM Punk vs Chavo Guerrero vs John Morrison vs Tommy Dreamer in a Singapore Cane Match
The Result: Big Show pinned Tommy Dreamer after a cane shot to the head.
The Real Winner: Kane
In Big Show, Kane will now finally have some quality competition in ECW Title matches. Sure, we’ve seen the match a million times, but Big Show is refreshed and being booked very well, and if nothing else having two big names between the champion and the dominant former champion wrestling for the ECW Title may make it mean something again.
The Real Loser: CM Punk
Do I really need to go into this? I understand that he wasn’t originally meant to get the MITB title shot, but now that he has it, he really needs to start being booked stronger than this. They’ve had two months to come up with a direction for him, and nothing yet other than being the third (or fifth) wheel in matches built around someone else.
John Cena vs JBL in a First Blood Match
The Result: John Cena defeated JBL after making him bleed from the mouth with the STFU
The Real Winner: John Cena
For the last couple of PPVs, Cena’s been in a position where he’s had to show that he can put on an entertaining match outside of a main event situation, and he’s done all right for himself. It looks like he’s going to be thrown back into the main event after the events of Raw, but Cena showed that unlike some people, he can take being bumped down the card and still work hard without getting a superstar attitude and throwing a fit about it. The Real Loser: JBL
I’m sure JBL envisioned more than undercard matches when he made his return to the ring, but it looks like that’s where he’s destined to stay. I gave him a chance in the four way WWE Title match at Backlash, but now I don’t think there’s any chance he’s getting near a World Title ever again.
Beth Phoenix vs Melina in an I Quit Match
The Result: Beth Phoenix made Melina submit with a surfboard variant.
The Real Winner: Melina
I think this was Melina’s big breaking out moment. She got the chance to show that she can have a quality match, and worked really hard here. She’s obviously very flexible, as the surfboard/chickenwing combo that finished her off was really ugly looking, and other than Jack Evans I can’t think of anyone who could take a move like that. One Night Stand was the night Melina showed that she’s got the goods.
The Real Loser: Mickie James
While these two put on a hell of a show, Mickie James, the WWE Women’s Champion, wasn’t even wrestling on the show. Instead, she was shown in a backstage segment after the match, but instead of reacting to Phoenix vs Melina, she instead stopped in to check on John Cena, shill Mamajuana, talk about having sex with Cena later, and catch Mike Adamle on his way out of the bathroom. Anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?
Shawn Michaels vs Batista in a Stretcher Match
The Result: Batista defeated Shawn Michaels after rolling him across the finish line.
The Real Winner: Shawn Michaels
Shawn Michaels is one of the most talented wrestlers who ever lived, and not just because of his in ring ability, but also because he’s very creative when it comes to working out cool spots that make sense. In this match, the stretcher was used in several creative ways, such as Michaels getting dropped chest first on it, Michaels ramming it into Batista, and Batista hanging on to the ring apron to prevent himself from being rolled across the finish line. I guarantee you that Michaels came up with all those spots, and as usual he was the King of Selling Beatings. This man can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned.
The Real Loser: Batista
On the flipside, Batista looked like a monster and laid a hell of a beating on Michaels, but to what end? He didn’t pin him. In fact, he’s never pinned him, and having the announcers say that Batista’s settled up with Michaels and is now done with him is basically telling us that Batista doesn’t care to pin Michaels. Why not? It’s not even like it was some other kind of decisive gimmick win, like an I Quit, First Blood, Ladder, or even escaping a cage. Instead, he had to put Shawn on a stretcher and wheel him across the finish line. This would have been a better gimmick to give to someone else, possibly Cena and JBL, and instead give Michaels and Batista the First Blood gimmick. That would have at least felt more final and real.
Triple H vs Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title
The Result: Triple H defeated Orton when Orton couldn’t answer the count after taking a sledgehammer shot from Triple H.
The Real Winner: The Fans
Yes, it’s too bad that Orton got hurt and all, but let’s be honest here, we’ve all been bored to tears by Orton, and we’ve all been pointing to his run at the top as a major reason for the declining ratings, and even the alternate explanation of it being HHH vs Orton and not just Orton himself has been given blame. In any event, Orton’s emotionless, dumbass interviews take up way too much time on Raw and he never says anything interesting. He’s developed into an okay worker, but just an okay worker, and there’s lots more where he came from. However it happened, getting him out of the main event scene should be looked at as a positive, and I’m not gloating over his pain or anything like that, but maybe when he comes back, he ought to spend some time working Hardy in the midcard.
The Real Loser: Randy Orton
Of course, the main reason for this is that he broke his collarbone during the match and will be out of action for several months recovering. But his grip on the top spot, which was already tenuous at best, may have just slipped a little more out of his grip. While he’s gone, somebody else is going to have to hang out in the main event with Triple H. Cena and Hardy have already gotten their foot in the door. There’s always a chance JBL will come around looking for more title shots. All three men are better workers and talkers than Orton, and Cena and JBL are both held in much higher regard by the office. With the timing of Orton’s injury being what it is, I’d have to assume somebody with main event credibility is going to move over from Smackdown during the draft. By the time Orton comes back from (another) injury, he may have found that the main event has passed him by for the time being.
Undertaker vs Edge in a TLC Match for the World Title
The Result: Edge defeated Undertaker when he retrieved the title belt.
The Real Winner: Edge
Edge is now without a doubt the top guy on Smackdown. He’s the champion, he can talk, he can work, he’s one of the chosen sons of the company, he’s got a string of great matches under his belt, and he’s been put over everyone on the brand. Now that he’s once again the World Champion, it will benefit him in one of two ways. First, it has most likely clinched the fact that he’ll be staying on Smackdown and will remain the ruler of his corner of WWE. The second way is that if he does get flipped to Raw, he’ll take the World Title with him and that will immediately make him a main eventer, instead of risking him being put a notch below Cena, Triple H, and the rest. Edge is in a no-lose situation right now.
The Real Loser: Smackdown
The flipside is that who does Edge wrestle now? Undertaker’s off on another vacation. Do we really want to see him wrestle Batista yet again? Besides, it seems like Batista’s not done working the angle with Michaels and Jericho, no matter what the announcers said. Who’s left on Smackdown that would make a credible challenger? Try turning MVP face and giving him a shot? Another run with Matt Hardy? Finlay, maybe? They’d all make for great matches, but those are the three top guys I came up with and none of them scream “marquee matchâ€. If Edge does stay on Smackdown, they’re going to have to import someone from Raw for him to work, otherwise we might be in for a pretty boring summer on Smackdown.
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So there you have it. As always, all feedback can be sent to stupwinsider@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading, and see you soon!
