HANDOFFS AND HEADLOCKS
By Charlie Dudley on 7/30/2008 10:43 AM
Over-Selling and UFC Light
Saturday night, Elite XC had their second primetime showing on CBS. The card was topped by the Robbie Lawler-Scott Smith rematch. This card didn’t have the flash or mainstream publicity of the last fight card featuring the Kimbo Slice work, I mean fight. The televised card featured four fights and none went to a decision. The reason this fact is worth mentioning is because there was a lot of dead time on the broadcast. Instead of another fight that was pre-taped, we had stupid interviews and horribly put together video packages.
The show opened with the introduction of the announcers, Gus Johnson, Mauro Renallo and Frank Shamrock. Renallo is by far the funniest announcer to listen to ever. He is so over the top with his delivery and fake voice that he sounds like a parody of an announcer. He just seems like he is over-selling everything and it comes off really cheesy which does nothing to add to the product. The fights were decent, nothing that was blow away great.
The women’s fight was good if you like to see some chick that comes out with a stupid guitar get pummeled by a Brazilian woman who is jacked and doesn’t speak English. I was pleased with the outcome and have to admit, I’m looking forward to seeing Cyborg (Cristiane Santos) fight Crush from American Gladiators (Gina Carano).
Jake Shields became the first Elite XC Welterweight Champion by choking out Nick “The Goat” Thompson in 1:03. Thompson looked ridiculous with facial hair down his neck, but none actually on his face. I guess when you have a name like “The Goat,” you can’t help but follow up that moniker by looking stupid. By the way, he came out wearing Zubaz pants. That’s right, Zubaz pants. Hey, goat man, 1990 called and they want their pants back.
Thomas Denny-Nick Diaz was a snoozer. Both men came in relatively out of shape and it showed after the first three minutes of the first round. The punches looked sluggish. Denny and Diaz looked like they were fighting underwater.
The main event featured a rematch of Robbie Lawler and Scott Smith for the Elite XC Middleweight Championship. Smith came out a little soft around the middle and got knocked out in the second round by a nice knee to the face. This fight was by far the fight of the show. But considering the only undercard fight worth anything was the women’s fight that ended in the second round, that isn’t saying much.
It was interesting to note that UFC put on an old card from May 24, 2008, Saturday night on Spike. It appears that UFC is pulling the old Jim Crockett-WWF move of blatantly going head-to-head with your competition. Granted, if you didn’t see UFC 84: Ill Will live, it was a much better card than Elite XC, but that is to be expected. In the world of MMA in the U.S., there is UFC and then a couple rungs down there is everything else.
Russo’s Latest Throw at the Wall-Does Anything Stick?
How dumb is the name “Beer Money” for a tag team? I mean was “Food Stamps” or “Lotto Tickets” taken? I’ve tried to be patient with TNA concerning James Storm. Admittedly, I’ve been a Storm fan since his days in America’s Most Wanted. I enjoyed both he and Harris, but now Harris is fat and has a name of a low rent country singer. James Storm has the promo skills and in-ring ability to be a top guy, but he keeps getting saddled with stupid gimmicks. First he taunts Rhyno for not being a drunk anymore and then he binge drinks with Eric Young. Sophomoric humor is dumb unless it’s funny and I’m pretty sure Vince Russo will not be confused with Larry David or any other comedy TV writers. TNA has wasted Storm and now if he wants to get away from Roode he has to turn face because Roode is incapable of being liked. I think it would completely kill any momentum Storm has as a character to change him in any way, but please God get him away from the king of never-ending feuds, Robert Roode.
The tables, three man weave, crazy interference match on Impact was pretty good. Can TNA not book a match ever without interference? Does someone always have to get involved? How long before we see like 12 and 20 men tag matches? If you added up the multi-man tag matches, scrambles, reverse battle royals and stupid gimmicks in TNA‘s short history, would they equal the amount of times that the tired Mr. McMahon character has been on your TV? Think about it.
The closing angle where Booker T and Samoa Joe talked in the ring was good. The only down side was Booker T talking and looking at Samoa Joe 95 percent of the time but saying his name every fourth word. Booker, we can clearly see you are talking to Joe, you don’t have to keep saying his name. They are teasing that Sting hit Joe with the bat, but I think it is just Booker framing Sting. However, I think Sting should turn heel or get a little edge to him because he has gotten pretty boring as of late.
The R-Truth is, Khali Still Sucks
The VIP Lounge segment was good for what it was, if it was the start of a program between MVP-Jeff Hardy. However, bringing up Jeff Hardy’s suspension was walking the tight rope. Not to mention, following that with bringing up the death of his dog was just bush-league. WWE could have brought up how Jeff Hardy didn’t win the title at the Rumble or shortcomings in the ring, but using his dead dog to get heat is pretty low brow. Hardy didn’t even get to bring up that MVP did time. I guess they have to save something for next week.
Smackdown this week was filled with good quick matches, which is out of the ordinary. Most matches on Smackdown are pretty good and run a decent amount of time, but this week just felt like things were hurried. Nothing was overwhelmingly great and must see, but the program was fun to watch.
I enjoyed to psychology of Ryder and Hawkins with Jesse and Festus. I’m looking forward to some pretty good matches between these two young tag teams in weeks to come. Stevie Richards, God bless him, had to bump like crazy for the still underwhelming Koslov. I didn’t mind the match, but get somewhere already with Mr. Double-Double-E. Brian Kendrick is awesome and I hope they do something with him. My fingers are crossed.
The battle royal was dumb. Khali winning is horrible. Who sits in the back at WWE and thinks he has any semblance of talent or credibility. He is big and ugly, and this isn’t the 1980s, so those attributes do not make you a good heel. Triple H always gets a lot of flack for putting himself over and being at the top, but you have to give him some credit for having a match with Khali at one of the big four pay-per-views.
Ron Killings is coming back to WWE, as R-Truth. I am excited to see him work, but R-Truth? What kind of name is that? I know that WWE has this big thing about owning the rights to names, but creative wasn’t very creative with R-Truth. A big part of getting over in the business is having a cool name. It wouldn’t have been the same if Steve Austin would have come out and said, “That’s the bottom line because S-Cold said so.” There is a reason The Rock didn’t get over as Rocky Maivia, because that’s a dumb name. Oh yea and people were tired of the all smiles baby face.
The Edge-Vickie segment was pretty well done, thanks in large part to Edge being great at what he does. It was a foregone conclusion that Undertaker would return and I think Hell in the Cell will be great. I hope WWE pulls the trigger on Undertaker turning out the lights and messing with Edge’s head, but never actually getting to see Undertaker on television. It’s smart business to make the fans pay to see Undertaker come back. I think the pop and entrance at SummerSlam for the Undertaker might be worth $10 of the pay-per-view price.
Mike BADamle and WWE’s Fast Forward Button
Mike Adamle is the new GM. Read that again and no I’m not drunk, although I think WWE was when they thought of it. The only redeeming quality of Adamle as GM is if he isn’t on commentary. However, he hasn’t really been the GM on television for long, so maybe he could get worse. Is it possible that Adamle as GM could be as bad as Adamle as ECW announcer?
The opening segment had a tease of heat and build that all went in the trash when WWE pulled the trigger on Cena-Batista at SummerSlam. They blew an opportunity to build this thing up to be the Mega Powers explode or Warrior-Hogan. Instead, WWE is in danger of it being just another feud that came and went too quickly. That being said, what happens to JBL? He doesn’t get a title match, right? These days, I put nothing above the realm of possibilities when it comes to WWE.
If you have read this column before, you know I love Santino. I’m really looking forward to seeing where they go with his love affair with Beth Phoenix. It’s really cool to see the Glamazon showing a personality outside of killing small, pretty girls weekly on Raw.
Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase are a good little tag team. DiBiase has that natural arrogant heel look going for him, and Cody Rhodes looked like a madman beating up Michael Cole this week. It makes sense right now to have Rhodes & DiBiase have a couple matches with Lawler, but a good extended program with Cryme Tyme would do a lot to push four young talents for the WWE’s future.
Jamie Noble coming to Raw was interesting because he became somewhat stagnant on Smackdown. I’ve waited a couple of weeks before I’ve decided on whether I enjoy him on Raw yet. The verdict is in and I’m really enjoying Noble on Raw. Not only is he after a hot chick again like he was on Smackdown, but he is pretty entertaining on the mic. He came across like a Southern Santino on Monday, calling Kofi Kingston Coffee. He is a good worker and has a pretty unique personality. He does well with the gimmick of having an alligator mouth with a tweedy bird butt. Hopefully, we could see the two guys with love interests feud eventually. The mic work would be entertaining and maybe Noble could yank a good match or two out of Santino.
I’ve talked a couple of times here about how great Chris Jericho is on the mic. After he beat down Shawn Michaels at the Great American Bash, it felt like Jericho had upped his game to a new level of heel we haven’t seen from him before. I really enjoyed his highlight reel of his court jester heel persona. Then how he proceeded to rip on himself for pandering to the crowd back then. Chris Jericho is obviously the top heel on Raw. He and Edge make it fun to be wrestling fans on a weekly basis. They are so good, it’s hard to hate them.
CM Punk has been booked as an underdog ever since he won the title from Edge. WWE has been pushing that everyone gunning for him. He wins, but it isn’t pretty. This week, I felt like Punk showed the reason he should be considered a top guy. Punk got into the ring and worked a stiff, snug match with the returning William Regal. It reminded me somewhat of the Benoit-Regal match from the Brian Pillman show. Not in the greatness, but the sheer brutality of the match. These two guys can obviously work really well, but I would’ve liked to see Regal built back up a little bit more before giving Punk such a hard time.
Finally, the main event of Raw, the cliff hanger of the whole show revolving around the new GM. We see a pretty decent main event with everybody working hard. It furthered the slow build between Cena and Batista with Cena making the blind tag and getting the win. However, when Adamle said it was gonna be Cena vs. Batista at SummerSlam, it canceled out the slow build and threw it into Russo mode where everything is on fast-forward.
So now we have Cena-Batista and Edge-Undertaker at SummerSlam along with Matt Hardy-Mark Henry and Triple H-Khali. It is shaping up to be a good card, but what does WWE do with CM Punk, JBL and Chris Jericho. Shawn Michaels returns to Raw next week, but hopefully they will say he is too hurt to wrestle. I think they could drag that feud out to at least Survivor Series. I just hope to God that JBL isn’t getting a title match with Punk at SummerSlam. Put JBL with someone else that deserves to feud with him like Snitsky. They can wrestle a dark match, that way I don’t have to be bored with that crap.
Favre Faxes Reinstatement-MLB Trade Deadline
Brett Favre faxed his reinstatement to the NFL this evening. Green Bay is still trying to ship him out and frankly it’s a shame. Favre should not retire in any jersey other than the green and yellow of Green Bay. Teams like TampaBay and the New York Jets are looking to add him and it probably would work out great for both of those teams. But, Favre needs to go home and retire and not risk ruining the thought of him actually being “Old Man Awesome”.
The MLB trade deadline is approaching. There have been some big trades including Rich Harden coming to the Cubs, C.C. Sabathia going to the Brewers, Damaso Marte and Xavier Nady going to the Yankees and most recently Mark Teixeira to the Angels and Casey Kotchman to the Braves.
Harden and Sabathia have already proven to be great moves for Chicago and Milwaukee. Marte is gonna give the Yankees bullpen help, but I’m not 100 percent sold on his ability to be a setup man for Rivera. Nady has a good stick and will probably be a good replacement for Matsui, but I don’t think these two guys from the Pirates are going to help the Bronx Bombers win the AL East.
Teixeira will do well in Anaheim because he will be a lot more protected in that lineup than he was in Atlanta. He joins Vlad Guerrero, Chone Figgins, Tori Hunter, and Garrett Anderson. He also joins a team in first place and pretty much a guaranteed shot at the playoffs.
Many guys are still on the block but some are likely to stay put like Brian Fuentes and Matt Holliday. The Rockies will likely hold on to these guys because they’ve won eight of their last ten, and only six games behind division leading Arizona.
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My column here is an extension of the topics I cover on my radio show on WEGL 91.1 FM on the campus of AuburnUniversity in Auburn, Ala. You can listen to the show “Handoffs and Headlocks” online at www.wegl91.com by clicking streaming and selecting a media player. The show airs during the summer on Monday at 1-3 p.m., Tuesday 1-2 p.m. and Thursday 1-3 p.m. (Note: All times are Central Standard Time).
Handoffs and Headlocks: No Hype Necessary, Just That Damn Good
