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SHOWTIME ALL-STAR WRESTLING TV REPORT

Showtime Allstar Wrestling – Episode 67
Airing on October 25, 2008 in Nashville on Comcast 74

To see Showtime Allstar Wrestling on the internet [url=www.championshipwrestling.tv]click here.[/url]

EARLIER TODAY AT THE ADAMS RESIDENCE…Paul Adams was chairing a meeting of the A-Team. This was, to some degree, a civilized A-Team. Ric Santel and Paul Adams were in dress shirts and ties. There was classical music playing in the background. Then, you had Dillinger in his usual ratty attire holding his pool cue, and Hammerjack off looking at porn on his cell. “Quit playing with your self phone,” yelled Dillinger. Adams said he was being hypothetical when he ran his mouth about getting his hands on Arrick Andrews. Nevertheless, the match was made and now, he was going to have to train.

You know my philosophy on physical exertion and exercise; no pain, no pain.

Adams said he was going to have to see a doctor and hire a nutritionist. Dillinger advised him to eat blueberries and get a colon cleansing. “It was the best thing I ever did for myself.” Santel said he had the perfect doctor. “Dr. Prentice, she is the best.” Adams said if Santel signed on as his personal trainer he could do this. After all, they used to call him the Paul-verizer back in high school. Santel promised to mold Adams into a lean, mean, fighting machine. Adams draped his towel over Santel’s shoulder and tod him he would be at the helm for the A-Team’s matches this week. (Arrick Andrews vs. Hammerjack, Dillinger vs. Nikki Vaughn). Dillinger said no broken bones or black eyes from Vaughn for him.

Cue to the stand up with Michael St. John and Reno Riggins. They confirmed Adams was absent due to his training. In addition to the aforementioned matches, former SAW champion and chronically unhappy camper, Kid Kash, would grace us with his presence.

1 -- HAMMERJACK (with Ric Santel) vs. ARRICK “The Dragon” ANDREWS

No sooner had ref Kurt Herron called for the bell than they started slugging it out. Andrews tossed Hammerjack around. Andrews mounted the ropes for the 10 punches, but only got six before Hammerjack dropped him face first on the top turnbuckle. The crowd quickly picked up the chant for Andrews. Hammerjack distracted the ref, so Santel could choke Andrews with the towel. As Hammerjack gave Andrews a lesson in brawling 101, Riggins said he wasn’t going to beat people with his wrestling, but he was a good striker. Hammerjack hit a sitout slam for a near fall. Back from commercial with more towel action from Santel. Hammerjack did the most fake looking running knees in wrestling history. Hammerjack with repeat applications of the dreaded sleeper hold. Andrews broke it for good with a jawbreaker and rallied with big punches, before being cut off by a knee to the breadbasket. Santel mistakenly grabbed Hammerjack’s leg. Hammerjack glared at Santel, but managed to duck the Dragon’s Curse. Santel jumped up to divert Andrews, and Hammerjack pulled out a chain. Andrews ducked the chain shot and hit a double underhook sidewinder facebuster.

WINNER: Andrews at 7:10 with the Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am Slam. OK. Andrews new finisher is a sweet move.

Biggs said the BOD had OKed Andrews vs. Adams in three weeks. Andrews chuckled about how he might have to train a little harder for a specimen like Paul.

Biggs was joined by Chase Stevens. Stevens called out Chris Michaels. Michaels and Fallon came to join Reno on the ramp. Stevens accused Michaels of cowardice for pushing him off the top turnbuckle last week and challenged him to a match. Michaels agreed to give Stevens a match but it would be next week with one stipulation – Fallon was barred from ringside. Michaels said he could do better without her because all she had done was cause him problems Chase accepted. “I’m glad she’s not going to be out here, because that’s one less bruise that’s going to on her from you.” Michaels’ facial reaction was awesome. Some female fans started a “woman beater” chant. Fallon further upset Michaels by walking off on him.

2 – TJ HARLEY vs. TATSU

Riggins said he had never heard of a wrestler barring his own valet from ringside. “I knew Chris Michaels was on a different page, but he’s in the appendix right now, “said St. John. Harley hit his fisherman shoulder breaker perfectly this time and killed Tatsu dead with a flying forearm.

WINNER: Harley in 1:58 with a flying forearm. For once, Harley squashed somebody.

Biggs interviewed Harley. “What an impressive win over the very impressive, sometimes, Tatsu.” Harley complained about Shawn Shultz’s “boyfriend” interfering to cost him the match last week. They replayed Hayme’s lame kick to the head of Harley AGAIN. Harley demanded a match with one of them next week and vowed to take them out once and for all.

Riggins did a sit down interview with “Boogie Woogie Boy” Gary Valiant in an empty SAW Mill. Boogie made it clear that after Reno fired him, embarrassed him and took away his career in SAW, they were not best buddies. If he had his way, Riggins wouldn't see a Christmas card from the Valiant's for the next 10 years. Riggins said he was just doing his job but he understood Boogie's animosity. Boogie said the TV interview with Andrews spurred him to do whatever it was going to take to get back in SAW. Boogie said he used the same attorney as Andrews, because he knew the loopholes. But he had it rougher than Andrews financially, because he had a wife and three kids and had to borrow money to stay afloat. More to come next week...

Raven promo. Raven said he was 1-0 and it would go on that way ad infinitum, but he needed to shake things up and pull some puppet strings. “I need to cause some internal and psychological damage. So I would tune in next week, because things are just about to get interesting.”

3 – JESSE EMERSON vs. TRAVIS SAWYER (with Tony Locasio)

Sawyer, again said to be the son of Buzz, came out brawling. Locasio snuck in a cheap shot. Emerson befuddled Sawyer with an up and over. A flurry of offense led to a rolling neck snap for a two count. Sawyer took over with a facebuster to the knee. Reno talked about Flash Flanagan knocking him out with a knee at the Louisville Gardens. Sawyer used a crotch chop knee drop for a two count. More brawling ensued. Sawyer was said to be go for a torture rack (looked like a fireman’s carry to me) and Emerson slid down Sawyer’s back for a sunset flip.

WINNER: Emerson in 4 minutes. Emerson looked pretty good in his first win. Sawyer’s stuff was at least crisper than his match against Raven.

Biggs asked Emerson about his confrontation with Sigmon three weeks ago. Emerson said Sigmon was trying to set the American flag on fire, and he wasn’t having it. Next time, Sigmon was going to have to go through him.

Biggs did another heavily censored interview with Kid Kash. Kash told Biggs to kiss his ass. Kash had his contract for the SAW International Championship match that he lost to Jerry Lynn. He challenged Biggs to find anything in the contract that allowed for a sudden death overtime. Biggs agreed it wasn’t there. “That is my title. SAW, you know it. You couldn’t handle Kid Kash as your champion.” Kash said Lynn was currently defending the title in Europe and “some freaking Euro” would probably end up wearing it. Kash tore up the contract. Kash said that fat POS Commissioner Freddie Morton had gone back on his word.

And you Reno Riggins, you’re behind every bit of this. And if you didn’t have that ugly jacket on, and you wadn’t part of The Board, I would probably jerk you down and beat you face in right now

Kash told Reno he would be hearing from his lawyer to order Lynn’s ass back in SAW to give him his belt back. They kept cutting to the same fan that had repeatedly gotten into altercations with Kash in the past. Kash warned Reno to remove that fan before something really bad happened. Riggins said they wouldn’t have any of that. Kash said he would do whatever he wanted because he was still the champion. They bleeped out a 15 seconds of Kash giving Reno hell. Kash said everybody in SAW was against him. Reno said Kash was delusional and grabbed the mic out of his hand. Kash went over to the fan, shoved him, and ripped his shirt off. Kash then pulled out a Coke bottle (gimmicked I hope) and shattered it over the guy’s head. Chaos reigned as they went to the commercial break.

4 – CHRIS VAUGHN vs. DILLINGER (with Ric Santel)

The announce team spent the opening minute talking about how Kash had gone completely over the edge by assaulting a fan. Reno said they had just loaded the guy into an ambulance. MSJ said Bart Durham might have a good case coming his way if(?) the fan decided to press charges. They teased the same mistake Santel made in the Hammerjack match. Vaughn then backdropped Dillinger to the apron and started throwing haymakers. It looked Dillinger was going to do a Nestea plunge into Santel’s arms, but Santel reached though his legs to trip up Vaughn. Dillinger took over, but Vaughn ducked a lariat off the ropes and came back with some truly awful bionic elbows. He hit a flapjack, then tried a springboard leg drop landing ass first on Dillinger’s chest. Comically bad unless you were Dillinger, in which case it sucked. Dillinger popped ref Jess Fields with an elbow. Santel jumped on the apron with the powder. Vaughn ducked. Dillinger got a face full. Vaughn rolled Dillinger up.

WINNER: Vaughn in 4:40. Really bad for a main event. Dillinger is one of the best workers SAW has, but he couldn’t drag a decent match out of Vaughn here. Vaughn’s comeback looked terrible, his timing was way off in spots, and the crowd wasn’t into him. The only redeeming feature was the sequence where they played off Santel’s screw up in the Hammerjack match.

Closing Thoughts: SAW is anything but predictable. You know it’s not your run-of-the-mill wrestling show when a wrestler assaults a fan with a bottle, and another wrestler bars his own valet from ringside. Everything that was good about this show had to do with the talking segments. The opening vignette was hilarious and the domestic violence storyline is now clicking thanks to the mic work and facial expressions of “woman beater” Chris Michaels. The interview with Boogie was the effective because he made you feel that it really mattered. Raven finally said something interesting in his promo. As Trent Van Drisse and Tommy Stewart pointed out on [url=www.blogtalkradio.com/TVD]Jerkin’ the Curtain{/url], there were two great things about the deal with Kash: 1) They made possession of the SAW Title out to be a matter of live and death 2) there was an air of danger through the whole thing that finally boiled over into madness. It came across as less than credible, however, when the BOD didn’t immediately suspend Kash. The announce team did a splendid job of getting the angles over. There was less wrestling than usual, none of it was better than average, and the main event was well below that. I liked the story idea of Santel screwing up as Adams’ stand in, but the execution left something to be desired. It’s been a while since Hammerjack had a genuinely good match, and Vaughn didn’t look like he was ready for this level at all. So far so good with the push for Emerson. He looked good in the ring. His promo was pure vanilla, but it could have been worse. This show was memorable for the angles and the talking and totally forgettable for the wrestling.