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Well, I happened upon one called the Ultimate Wrestling Survey, which is actually a really well thought out survey that asks more cerebral questions than “whose beter, john cena or battista?†I filled it out of course, but in my eternal quest to find something, anything wrestling related to write about, I decided to present it to you for all your enjoyment and so you can fill it out and send it along to all your friends too.
Leave it to me to fill out a MySpace survey and pass it off as a column. I truly have no shame.
Top 5 Questions
Top 5 Wrestlers Of All-Time
5)Ricky Steamboat
4)Bret Hart
3)Ric Flair
2)Kurt Angle
1)Shawn Michaels
Top 5 Entrance Music's Of All-Time
5)Real American
4)Degeneration X
3)Undertaker (and his entire entrance)
2)Steve Austin
1)Badstreet USA
Top 5 Finishing Moves Of All-Time
5)Kenta Kobashi’s Burning Hammer
4)Bob Backlund’s Crossface Chickenwing
3)Hulk Hogan’s Legdrop
2)Bret Hart’s Sharpshooter
1)Shawn Michaels’ Sweet Chin Music
Top 5 Feuds Of All-Time
5)Steve Austin vs Vince McMahon
4)NWO vs WCW
3)Bret Hart vs Steve Austin
2)Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels
1)WWF vs WCW
Quick Hit Questions
Best stable of all-time?
This is probably going to get some heat from the Horsemen drones, but I would say the NWO. The horsemen may have been a collection of some of the most talented guys in the business, but the NWO completely changed the business. I don’t think you can say the Horsemen had anywhere near the same kind of long-lasting effects the NWO did, the Horsemen were just a stable while the NWO was a revolution.
Who is the greatest wrestler (in your opinion) to never win a World Title?
Scott Hall. He connected with the audience in a way almost nobody of his generation could. Really the only guys in the 90s I can think of who connected better with the audience were Austin and Rock. He wasn’t the greatest wrestler in history, but he was good enough and had some good matches when in there with the right guys. He also seemed like a main eventer, and while you might say somebody like an Owen Hart should have been champion, I don’t think people could take him seriously in that way like they could have with Scott Hall. I think his personal problems are the only thing that stopped him from becoming World Champion, really.
What does TNA need to do to become a legitimate player?
Got all year to hear me talk about it? Okay, the biggest thing they have to do is stop referencing WWE. Ring of Honor can get away with it because they’re not trying to compete on a national level, at least not yet, so it’s okay for them to say “Hey look, we’ve got this big outside star coming in!†TNA is trying to compete with WWE, so it hurts them when they’re constantly (as in multiple times per show) mentioning “the other company†or “that company up north†or whatever, and mentioning everything every big star they have did everywhere but in TNA. There’s a reason the WWF and WCW didn’t acknowledge each other for many years, it brings up a comparison that neither one really needs to be made, and one of them is going to end up looking second-rate, and that’s exactly what’s happening with TNA right now. They might not look quite as bad if it weren’t for the constant screwjobs, lack of clean finishes, boneheaded booking of anyone who wasn’t in WWE, overcomplicated match stipulations, and obnoxious presentation, but if they weren’t constantly forcing the comparison, they might not look so bad.
Outside of WWE and TNA, what is the one promotion people should be watching?
Do you even need to ask? Ring of Honor! I really hope they get TV soon because the people who don’t give it a chance because they’re a DVD business have no idea what they’re missing out on. The wrestling is way beyond anything you’ll see in either WWE or TNA, and hopefully with Adam Pearce at the helm, now we’ll start to develop the characters and storylines a little more as well. The thing I like the most is that they take the business seriously instead of trying to present it as a second-rate soap opera or a wrestling company trying to be a second-rate soap opera.
John Cena: Your thoughts?
I think he’s the Bret Hart of this generation. What I mean by that is not that he’s even half the worker Bret was (though he does work hard), but the fact that business is down, and he’s the best guy they have right now so he’s on top, and even though some people love him, other people can’t stand watching him work. Eventually when the business starts to pick up, somebody new is going to come along who will connect with the fans in a way Cena never could, and he’s going to edge Cena out, take his spot, and probably feud with him. Sound familiar? I think Cena will always be a major player, but I don’t think he’ll ever be quite what he is now once his Steve Austin comes along, and I just hope he doesn’t turn out to be as bitter as Bret is these days.
More Top 5 Questions
Top 5 Tag Teams Of All-Time
5.The Hart Foundation
4.Jay & Mark Briscoe
3.The Rockers
2.Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard
1.The Midnight Express
Top 5 Most Underutilized Wrestlers
5.Arn Anderson
4.Christian Cage
3.Big Show
2.Dean Malenko
1.Barry Windham
Top 5 Moments Of All-Time
5.Hulk Hogan slamming Andre The Giant
4.Hulk Hogan revealing himself as the mystery third member of the Outsiders and his subsequent speech tearing down the fans
3.The Montreal Screwjob
2.Randy Savage & Elizabeth reuniting at Wrestlemania 7
1.Ric Flair’s Retirement Ceremony
Top 5 Matches Of All-Time
5.Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit (Royal Rumble 2003)
4.Bret Hart vs Steve Austin (Wrestlemania 13)
3.Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle (Wrestlemania 21)
2.Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker (Badd Blood 1997)
1.Ric Flair vs Ricky Steamboat (Clash Of The Champions 6)
Top 5 Events Of All-Time
5.Wrestlemania 8
4.Summerslam 1991
3.Slamboree 1994
2.Glory By Honor V Night Two
1.Wrestlemania X-7
More Quick Hits
What is the best piece of wrestling merchandise in history?
Without a doubt the vibrating action figures that WCW put out in the mid 90s. I don’t know what purpose a vibrating Stevie Ray action figure would serve (to male fans, anyway), and apparently neither did Toys R Us, from whom I bought a couple at $1.98 apiece.
Wrestlemania 23, what were the brands' main events?
I can’t believe I somehow remember this, but John Cena defending the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels, Batista defending the World Title against the Undertaker (in the match that should have closed the show), and also ECW Champion Bobby Lashley (with Donald “that’s my guy†Trump in his corner) facing Umaga (with Vince McMahon in his corner) in a non-title match where the loser’s second would have his head shaved.
Is wrestling too "nostalgic" for its own good these days?
I don’t know if nostalgic is the word, but there’s definitely not enough focus on legitimately building new stars these days. There’s just too much stop/start booking with the youngsters in WWE that results in nobody being able to take them seriously. At least that’s better than in TNA where none of the younger guys are taken seriously because they’re booked to look like idiots.
When did you become a wrestling fan?
One day after school in 1991, I came home and caught USWA Texas on ESPN, and at first I watched it as a goof to see how stupid it would be, but I ended up enjoying it and started watching the USWA and later the GWF every day, and it became the highlight of my afternoon. I didn’t actually see my first WWF show until almost six months later when my dad’s girlfriend taped Summerslam for me, so that show has always held a special place in my heart, especially since it was also a really awesome PPV.
CM Punk, the real deal?
I think he can be if they’d let him. Put it this way, nobody loves this business more than CM Punk, all he’s ever wanted to do was become a wrestler, and he’s got the same kind of hunger that made Shawn Michaels what he became. He’s a good wrestler if not a great one, but his ability to cut promos is beyond anything that anybody else in WWE is capable of these days, but they won’t let him cut loose. If there ever comes a day when he gets a second World Title reign, I’m telling WWE, turn him heel and cut him loose, this guy is money.
Finally...Yay or Nay?
Triple H?
Yay, without a doubt. The business is his life, and on top of that he’s a much better worker then people often give him credit for. He stuck with WWE and still busted his ass to basically carry the company through the last several years while Austin was sitting home icing his neck and Rock was off making movies, and you can make the argument that WWE’s down period coincides with Triple H’s run on top, but I would say it probably wouldn’t have even done as well as it did if it weren’t for Triple H almost literally killing himself for WWE. For as much as people cream over the Rock, I would say that Triple H deserves his success far more than the Rock and maybe even more than Austin.
Shawn Michaels?
Yay. Simply put, Shawn’s the greatest wrestler of all time. He’s in the same league as Triple H and the Undertaker in that his hard work has basically kept the company afloat for the last five years after Austin and Rock were gone. The guy can singlehandedly have a classic with just about anyone, and has proven it countless times with a variety of opponents. He was absolutely the right guy to retire Flair and earned that honor.
Edge?
Yay. He’s one of those once in a generation types that has the total package, but doesn’t really get recognized as much as he deserves, because for all the wins over Undertaker, and for all the World Titles, Cena and Batista are the real centerpieces of the promotion. Still, he’s probably one of the most valuable guys WWE has right now and will become even more important once Hunter, Shawn, and Undertaker hang it up for good, whenever that may be.
Big Show?
Nay. If WCW and WWE had booked him like they would have booked Andre, to be basically unbeatable, then they would have been on to something, but things having played out the way they did, he’s just another big guy, albeit bigger than most.
RVD?
A conditional yay. He’s good, very entertaining to watch, and way over with the fans. But he’s not a main eventer, at least not for a national promotion. His little incident with the law a couple of years ago shot any chance he had of ever hoping to get any kind of main event run ever again. People were up in arms when he jobbed to Hunter in 2002, but I don’t think giving him the title would have been a good move.
Sandman?
Nay. The guy’s totally useless, he can’t work unless he’s drunk, and the only other thing he had going for him was the entrance music. If you take the beer and music away from him, nobody cares, and what does that say about him?
Sabu?
Nay. Again, totally overrated. He was a spot monkey and that’s it. I can’t stand watching his matches and thinking that back in 1994, people were raving about what a great wrestler he was. He blew so many moves that I’m surprised nobody ever started a “you F---ed up†chant when he actually hit something. Sure, he tried a lot of difficult moves, but you know what? If they’re that difficult that you can’t reliably hit them, don’t try them in EVERY MATCH. Once he started breaking down a few years ago, he became even more embarrassing to watch.
King Booker?
In the middle. I think he’s a great worker and a very entertaining personality. I don’t think he’s a real main event level talent, though. I think he was only WCW World Champion because of circumstance, and he wasn’t ready to carry a company yet. I would actually argue that he wasn’t ready until he won the World Title as King Booker, and even then it worked for what it was, a short one-time transitional reign. Upper midcarder maybe, World Title challenger of the month maybe, but not a main event level player.
Batista?
Yay. I used to think of him as one of the talentless, muscled up slugs that arbitrarily seem to get a push in WWE, but he’s grown into the main event role a lot better than I thought he would, so I’m able to think better of him now.
Finlay?
Yay. I think the general consensus was that he was too good to waste backstage in an agent role, but still not necessarily World Title material. I think putting him back in the ring was a good idea (and wish they would do the same with Dean Malenko), and he’s worked well in his position as the older guy helping the youngsters learn on the job.
Chris Benoit?
Yay. I think it’s fair to say that the last two or three days of his life ruined his legacy, but I don’t think there’s any way you can discount his contributions to the business. I mean, the guy was a phenomenal worker, had some really memorable matches, and held a lot of titles, including making Triple H tap out to win the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania 20. You don’t get much bigger than that. He’s wrestled all the top guys and beaten most of them. A lot of people have a hard time separating his career from what happened at the end (and I think a lot of people get way overdramatic about it), but I’m not one of those people, I can still watch and enjoy Chris Benoit matches, and think whatever you want about what that says about me as a person, but he deserves too much credit for what he accomplished for it to all be completely invalidated by what he ended up doing.
Lashley?
Nay. He was nowhere near ready to be thrown into the position he was, and whenever he went more than a minute or two, it became terribly obvious. Watching him wrestle during his ECW Title reign was painful, and his lisp and total lack of personality made him even harder to take seriously. Let’s hope the MMA business doesn’t dry up anytime soon.
Umaga?
Nay. Convincing badass, but I think lots of wrestlers could do what he does. No sell everything, steamroll over everyone with a lame finisher…it’s not exactly like he’s got a once in a lifetime gimmick.
Undertaker?
Yay. Easily the best big man worker of my generation. He obviously gets somewhat typecast given the types of matches he usually has, but he’s also shown that he can wrestle very well and have good matches with people other than big lugs.
Kane?
Nay. I think they could have gotten much, much more out of him than they did, but every time it seemed like they would get the ball rolling on rebuilding him as a monster, they always ended up cutting it short with something stupid like the Shane McMahon feud in 2003. Now he’s past the point where they could legitimately make him a monster heel main eventer. What a waste of a real company guy.
Mick Foley?
Yay. Some say he’s obviously washed up and just whoring himself for a paycheck now, but when he was in his prime he was one of the best workers (in his own way) and easily the best promo in the world. Mick Foley can tell such an amazing story with his promos that it’s criminal that it took him as long as it did to get to the top, but I’m glad he did get his run and his three World Titles because he also busted his ass for years to get there, and he earned every bit of it and frankly, has earned a lot more respect than he’s given today.
Ric Flair?
Yay. Some people draw lots of money, some are great talkers, some are great workers, but when it comes to the all around package, there were none better than Ric Flair.
Spirit Squad?
Yay. You might think I’m crazy since they got their asses kicked on such a regular basis, but they spent the majority of their time feuding with Degeneration X, main evented quite a lot, and held the World Tag Team Title for several months. Does that sound like being buried to you?
John Morrison?
This guy’s going to be great. Even though CM Punk’s a better talker, Morrison is a better worker, and if WWE wasn’t retarded, they could be two of the guys the company is built around for years to come. I think Morrison has a better shot of getting there than Punk, frankly.
Mr Kennedy?
Yay. Given some of the other things that have happened like the scandal and the injuries, it’s easy to forget how good Kennedy is, but this guy is a great talker and a great worker. I really can’t say I’ve seen too many bad Kennedy matches, and yes, you can make the joke that this is because he’s spent 75% of his career out injured, but if he can stay healthy this guy is a can’t miss prospect.
Rey Mysterio?
Nay. Totally overrated, and he shouldn’t have ever gotten anywhere near a World Title. The only reason he was champion was because Eddy died, and he’s far too small to be taken seriously as legitimately able to compete with some of the monsters in WWE.
Hulk Hogan?
Yay. Basically the comparison between Hogan and Austin is that Austin drew more money, but Hogan drew over a longer period, and I think that’s the difference that makes me consider Hogan the better of the two. He’s one of the worst workers ever, but nobody has the name recognition he has, and I would consider him to still be a bigger crossover star than anyone who’s come down the pike since.
Vince McMahon?
Yay. Greatest promoter of all time. Unfortunately, he’s not quite as in touch with his audience as he used to be and I think his product has suffered for it, but he’s accomplished more and made more money than any promoter in the history of the business, and no other promoter has been the revolutionary force on the business that Vince has been.
Stephanie McMahon?
Nay. But for different reasons than you might think. I do blame some of the decline in the creative side of WWE since she took over, but I think a large part of that is that Vince still has control of the company and even though she’s a McMahon, she still works for her father and has to put forth his vision. That said, I don’t think things are going to magically change once Vince is gone because I still question the way things are done there, but I think Stephanie and the creative teams in general catch too much flak for basically doing what their boss tells them to.
Shane McMahon?
Yay. I think he’s probably perfectly happy doing what he’s doing instead of running creative because he’s said to be more like his mother, who is more of a business person, but I also think he’s the most likeable McMahon from an on-screen perspective, and he could still make a more approachable liaison between the boys and upper management if they wanted him to be.
Eric Bischoff?
Yay. The only person who was ever seriously able to fight Vince McMahon. I think he’s gotten a bad rep for a lot of things that went on with WCW, but as others have found out, a lot of that probably had to do with the way things were run in the Turner organization, and later Time Warner and then AOL. I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt more than others, though I do think things might have been run a little differently if it were his money being spent.
Paul Heyman?
Yay. But not the overwhelming yay he gets from some people. I think he’s definitely very creative, but when it comes to running the business side of a company…well, put it this way, I wouldn’t want him doing my taxes. I think he was a valuable member of creative and an effective on-screen persona who knew how to push things correctly both as a manager and an announcer, but keep him far away from the checkbook.
* * * So there you have it, this was a fun chance to do something different so you all can stop accusing me of being a shameless ROH shill. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed doing it, and I'm sure my mailbox will now be filled with your own versions. Such is the life of an e-famous internet wrestling columnist.
As always, all feedback can be sent to stupwinsider@yahoo.com and you can catch me on Myspace at www.myspace.com/stupwinsider. Take care, and I'll be back before you know it. Take care, everybody!
