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SOUTHERN ALL STAR WRESTLING TV REPORT

By Larry Goodman on 3/20/2009 11:12 AM

Showtime All-star Wrestling – Episode 81
Airing on March 7, 2009 on Comcast 74 in Nashville and WKRP in Lebanon, Tn
Taped on February 13, 2009 at the SAW Mill in Millersville, Tn

Michael Graham and Reno Riggins open from ringside inside an empty echo-filled SAW Mill for the Empty Arena Match: Arrick Andrews vs. Hammerjack & Paul Adams. Riggins explained that A-Team forced Commissioner Freddie Morton’s hand by constantly attacking opponents before the show. Graham said this time the opponent would know they were in the building.

The opening montage rolled…

Graham on solo commentary. Reno was manning one of the handheld cameras. Graham said the sweeps had been conducted to guarantee the building to guarantee it was empty (except for the kid sitting in the folding chair). Adams came out wearing his Apollo Creed shorts and started running his mouth. He made fun of Andrews’ for using entrance music. He had a point. Leaving nothing to chance, Andrews made a visual inspection of the concession stand and the dressing room prior to hitting the ring.

1 – Empty Arena Match: HAMMERJACK & PAUL ADAMS vs. ARRICK “The Dragon” ANDREWS

With Riggins manning one of the handhelds, Graham called this match solo. Andrews hit the ring and started pounding Hammerjack’s face. Adams went right for the bag of powder, but unlike the cage match, Andrews ducked. It never reached Hammerjack and thankfully, he didn’t sell it. Andrews nailed Adams with haymaker and Adams went flying with his feet up in the air ala Jim Cornette from Smoky Mountain Wrestling. The action moved to the empty floor where Andrews slammed Hammerjack’s head into the walls a few times. Back from commercial with Andrews making life miserable for Hammerjack. Hammerjack crawled into the dressing room area. They cut to a funny shot of Adams still holding his head and his bum. Adams tried to do an end around, but Hammerjack was being rammed into the other side of the door and Adams ate it. Andrews sent Hammerjack tumbling down the ramp. Hammerjack begged off but Andrews was merciless. He tossed Hammerjack into the concession area and bashed him over the head with a roasting pan. Adams took another door to the face. Adams pulled a plastic trash bag out of the concession area. He tried to suffocate Andrews with the trash bag, but Andrews ripped through it and donkey kicked Adams in the nuts. Hammerjack went low on Andrews to finally gain the upper hand. Back from commercial, Hammerjack was strangling Andrews every which way. Andrews bit Hammerjack’s forearm, then applied a testicular claw. Andrews went for a floatover bulldog onto a chair. It missed the chair. Adams got kicked in the head as he tried to pull Andrews out of the ring. Adams jumped off the top rope and landed on Hammerjack. Adams took another flying bump from an Andrews haymaker. Adams said screw it. He used Hammerjack’s sledgehammer to break the lock on the cargo door. They cut to Hammerjack limping out of the building and trying to flag Adams down as he sped past him in his car. Andrews rammed Hammerjack’s head into the cinder block wall behind the building. Back inside, Andrews finished the job with Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am (pedigree variation). “Tell Paul he’s next.”

WINNER: Andrews in 12 minutes with Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am. The brawling was fine. What little wrestling they did looked bad. Adams’ comedy bumping was fun.

2 – J.T. STAHR (with Derrick King & Sister O’Feelya) vs. JESSE EMERSON

Riggins said Emerson reminded him of Bob Backlund with his clean cut appearance and a law degree. “Not only is this guy smart inside the ring, but he’s smart in real life.” Reno, tell me you didn’t say that. Emerson feinted as Stahr went for a hiptoss and dropkicked him for a one count. Emerson controlled Stahr with a side headlock. Counters back and forth. With Emerson bent over after a boot the gut, Stahr drove his head into the mat curbstomp style. Cool move. Crowd was quick to get behind Emerson. Stahr delivered a huge running kick to the sternum. Stahr was the beneficiary of outside help from King. Emerson reversed a suplex sending Stahr into the corner with his feet whiplashing off the top rope. Scary landing there. Emerson on fire. Stahr took a high backdrop and feet hit the ropes again. Emerson caught Stahr with a wicked Alabama Slam. Sigmon appeared on the ramp goading Emerson into showing the people some of his disrespect. Emerson wheeled around and slugged the ref. Sigmon smiled. “Exactly what I was talking about,” he said. Emerson was beside himself with remorse.

WINNER: Stahr via DQ at 5:58. Really good match except for the finish. Stahr has great facial expressions and bumps big time. I just couldn’t buy the way Emerson punched the ref. Is he Pavlov’s dog or something?

Graham interviewed the SAW International Champion Kid Kash concerning his upcoming title defense against Chrisjen Hayme. Kash was seated on the couch in his home with the SAW championship next to him. Rude, egotisical, disrespectful - Kash’s character flaws were as full-blown as they are at the arena. Right off the bat, Kash took exception to Graham comparing “Haynes” (that’s what Kash kept calling him) to a younger version of himself.

This is the truth. Chrisjen Haynes is just a little boy, trying to be a man in a man’s world…I think he should just go back to college like his mom and daddy wanted him to and become the veterinarian…While I was winning world titles, this little punk was jerking off to the Diva calendar under the covers when the lights were supposed to be out

Kash said the idea was for him to come to SAW and make it a legit company. Kash ran down the list of major feds where he had held titles. Kash said he was also a seasoned veteran in MMA. Kash claimed to have defended the SAW title in Europe, Japan and Australia, while the previous champions hadn’t done a damn thing in their lives.

I am the guy that goes around the world winning world titles. I bang hot model chicks every day of my life. I go downtown to Fleming’s and fork out a hundred bucks just on myself. That’s the kind of champion I am.

Kash said he had wrestled Undertaker in Toyko, Steve Austin in USWA and his trainer, Ricky Morton and beaten all of them -- “Rey Mysterio down in Guadalajara, Mexico, beat his little ass.”

Kash said Hayme wasn’t near his level. He was going to give Hayme his shot, but it wasn’t a shot he was really going to enjoy because it was going to give Hayme an education in old school hard knocks.

You are what I never was and I am what you will never, ever be.

Graham said he had no further questions. Kash told Graham to get the hell out of his house.

3 – SAW International Title Match: Champion KID KASH vs. CHRISJEN HAYME

JIP with Kash engaging in the usual ugliness with the fans. A mat scramble ended as a stand off. Kash tried to intimidate Hayme. They went back and forth with some sweet chain wrestling. Hayme broke loose with a dropkick and pair of armdrags. Kash bailed and baited Hayme into his trap on the reentry. Hayme used another dropkick-armdrag combo. He wisely hung onto the arm and went to work. Kash fired a chop. Hayme answered with a barrage and knocked Kash off the apron with a dropkick. Kash made Hayme miss with a slingshot crossbody. Hayme grabbed at his ankle for a bit, then went back on the attack and had Kash begging off. Kash connected with a baseball slide to the ankle. (Commercial break) Vicious exchange of chops that really got Graham revved. Kash thumbed Hayme in the eye and bit his nose. Kash paused for some choice words with Reno before getting back on Hayme’s ankle. Reno said Hayme was showing him something in this match. Kash went for the kill with a middle rope knee drop. Nope. Both men suffering now. Hayme was moving too well as he made the southpaw comeback. He did a messed up middle rope DDT, which Graham candidly admitted he didn’t get all of. Graham said he didn’t get all of it. Kash gave Hayme and atomic face plant for a near fall. Another big chop from Kash. Hayme tried for a backslide, but Kash reversed into a brainbuster. Hayme blocked it and went for an enzuigiri. Kash ducked and and sunk in the ankle lock. Hayme tapped pronto. Being the fine human being that he is, Kash refused to relinquish the hold until the ref pried him off.

WINNER: Kash via submission in 10:30 to retain the title. This match definitely had its moments of bigtime intensity. Told a good story as well. I especially liked the way Kash appeared to be in trouble, then finished quickly (logically set up by the damage to Hayme’s ankle) without the obligatory big near fall for the challenger. If only Hayme had sold that ankle when he made the comeback.

As they went to the replay, Kash was directing more choice comments at Reno. “I think he’s going to force me to get in shape. I really do,” said Riggins.

Random Thoughts: Based on the storyline, it made a logical sense to start with the empty arena match rather than to empty the building ala TNA. It also made for a better TV show to have the SAW title match last. Hayme as the challenger came out of left field for sure. And that’s exactly the story they told with Kash displaying utter disdain for Hayme, and then getting way more than he bargained for. It was a match that has to help Hayme’s standing…Having Graham interview Kash on his home turf added to Kash’s legacy as the biggest dick ever to appear on SAW TV. Whether calling him Haynes was purposeful or not, it just added to the fun…Emerson is getting over at the SAW Mill. His falling victim to the mental powers of the “Middle Eastern Mastermind” makes for a different kind of story. I have a feeling that the way the finish of his match played out was not exactly what the powers that be had in mind…Stahr has it. If there's any justice in pro wrestling, that dude has a bright future…The stuff between Reno and Kash has come up way too many times for it not to be leading somewhere…The Empty Arena was the latest round of the endless game of cat and mouse that is SAW television. They hype a big match. It looks like the payoff but results in something that raises more questions than it answers - always hooking the viewer with another plot twist to bring them back. And isn’t that what episodic wrestling TV is all about?