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SOUTHERN ALL STAR WRESTLING TV REPORT

Showtime All-Star Wrestling – Episode 98
Airing July 25, 2009
Taped at the SAW Mill in Millersville, Tn

This episode is now available for viewing at [url=www.ProWrestlingWorldwide.TV]ProWrestlingWorldwide.TV[/url].

LAST WEEK AT THE SAW MILL…Derrick King Enterprises swarm all over an unsuspecting Vordell Walker to leave him laying…Words from Jesse Emerson on his loss to SAW Champion Kid Kash. Emerson vows to earn another shot at Kash and says he done with Jon Michael Worthington…Kash says Emerson isn’t in the top five of competition. He claims to be the real deal, a 16-1-1 MMA fighter, and he’s calling everybody out.

Cut to Michael Graham (where the hell is Reno?) for the rundown on tonight’s card. The main event: Hair vs. Career – Andy Douglas vs. Chase Stevens

1 – BIG DOLLA (with Derrick King & JT Stahr & Miss O’Feelyah & ? ) vs. AIDEN SCOTT

DKE has added a new member to their entourage, a porky black midget. Graham quoted Pittsburgh Penguins broadcaster Mike Lange regarding the ridiculous size match – “He (Scott) doesn’t know whether to cry or wind his watch.” Scott’s punches harmlessly bounced off Dolla, who then threatened to body slam Scott from the ring to the concrete floor. Dolla drilled Scott with a slam, and took a lengthy pause to glare at the crowd before finishing with the Dolla Bill.

WINNER: Big Dolla in 1:17.

DKE was at ringside with Graham. King introduced the midget as DKE’s new head of security, HALF DOLLA.

Stahr said the people were trying to drown him out because they didn’t want to hear the truth – if not for Vordell Walkers’ interference, DKE would be the SAW Tag Team Champions.

I don’t come to your job and knock the fries out of you hand. Now shut up while the great one is talking.

August 29, it’s the first ever “Dog of Nashville Festival” celebrating the premiere of SAW on CW 58. Meet the stars of SAW. Proceeds benefit the Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.

EARLIER THIS WEEK…LT Falk took time out from a training session to address the SAW camera. Falk thanked Walker for helping Drew Haskins and himself retain the tag titles. Falk said Walker had sustained broken ribs and bruised sternum at the hands of DKE. Falk said Haskins was absent from training because he was home nursing a bad back. Falk promised they would both be at the SAW Mill next week to defend the titles against DKE, and they weren’t going down with out a fight.

Top 10 List behind SAW International Champion Kid Kash – Hammerjack up to number 3 this week.

A graphic appeared stating SAW’s condolences to the family of Michael Jackson. It said that SAW decided to air the following match due to Mr. Jacko’s popularity with the fans.

2 – HAMMERJACK vs. MR. JACKO

Graham said fans all over the world had asked when Jacko would return. Jacko moonwalked into Hammerjack. He had gloves on both hands and paused to put a second glove on the right hand. Hammerjack destroyed Jacko with power moves and pinned him with the driving elbow from a reverse DDT position.

WINNER: Hammerjack in 18:45.

Graham noted the “Hammer” chant before starting the postmatch interview. Hammer said he always had problems; problems playing well with others, problems solving his problems. Hammer said Paul Adams had labeled him a problem and brought in “The Problem Solver” David Young. Hammer invited Young to bring it to the SAW Mill because he had the fans behind him, and that was all he needed.

EARLIER THIS WEEK IN SAN ANTONIO, TX: Paul Adams and Rick Santel had put together a list of potential careers for Chase Stevens to pursue to replace his wrestling career. Adams offered spray tan technician – “he’s practically orange for crying out loud.” Santel said the Coliseum was looking for a urinal technician to remove the urinal cakes and cigarette butts. Number 2 on Adams’ list was Governor of Alaska. Santel wondered if Chase could see Russia from his backyard. Adams said Stevens could see a lot of things because he was delusional. “He sees himself as a big star around SAW.” Next on Adams list was a job as David Young’s bitch. “They used to go out to LA (to do motion captures for a wrestling video game), and I think that was his full-time job for about six months. That’s the kind of job you could slide right back into. It would be like he never left.” Santel suggested Artificial Inseminator. Adams said Mike Rowe had a thing like that on Dirty Jobs. “He had like a turkey baster and pot belly pig. He’s kind of pretty boy. You think he’s cut out for work like that?” Santel said he would be wearing gloves up past his elbows. Santel had one more – mop boy at the peep show. Adams said Stevens was more like the reason they needed a mop boy. Adams got serious. 6 months ago, he promised Douglas a shot at the SAW International Title and the opportunity rid his life of Stevens.

Freddie Morton wants to ensure that we don’t interfere, but don’t you think I’ve got a plan B, C, D all the way to Z? I’m not going to be made to look like idiot and either is Andy Douglas. Hair versus Career. We will see you this week at the SAW Mill.

Commissioner Freddie Morton had an announcement on behalf of the SAW BOD. Morton said the A-Team’s attack on Chase Stevens and Flash Flanagan resulted in the second highest fine in the history of the promotion, and they were also heavily fined for the illegal piledriver on Hammerjack. Clips of both incidents were flown in over Morton’s verbiage. Morton said SAW was leveling the playing field with an added stipulation to the Hair vs. Career Match: Douglas would lose his hair if there was any interference by A-Team or if he was counted out.

Footage of the events leading up to the Hair vs. Career match aired, as we heard words from Stevens interspersed with clips of Stevens menacing the camera with scissors. Stevens said Douglas walked away from him rather than cut his hair. He was going to take what was most precious to Douglas.

I’m taking you down bald. I’m going to make you look just like your boyfriend David Young.

3 – Hair vs. Career: ANDY DOUGLAS (with Paul Adams) vs. CHASE STEVENS

Stevens paraded into the ring with a giant sized set of hedge clippers. Slow start with lots of stalling by Douglas. Graham compared the pressure to the seventh game of the World Series. Each man scored a quick one count. At one point, Adams’ made an instinctive move to choke Stevens with his towel, and Douglas ordered him not to. Stevens spilled Douglas over the top with a lariat. Douglas rammed Stevens into the chain link fence that decorates the wall of the SAW Mill and rolled him back inside for the first two count of the match. (Commercial break) They started trading big moves for near falls. Stevens kicked out of a hangman neckbreaker. Stevens hit a big clothesline, and Douglas got a leg over the bottom rope. Douglas kicked out of a powerslam. Douglas was looking worse for wear. Stevens went for the fisherman suplex, and Douglas reversed it with short arm clothesline. Douglas hit the Harley Race high knee for a close near fall. Douglas argued with Jesse Fields, giving Stevens time to recuperate. Stevens connected with a dropkick, but he was slow to cover and Douglas got a shoulder up at 2 and 7/8. They traded bombs with only the ropes to hold them up. As Stevens went for another big right, Douglas kicked him low – “below the E-quator” – and hit the guillotine leg drop off the middle rope. Douglas was in a state of exasperation when Stevens kicked out. Douglas went for another one. Nobody home. Yakuza kick and a back elbow by Stevens. Douglas barely kicked out before the three. Graham said it was at 15/16. Stevens hit a german suplex but was too far gone to follow up, and Douglas kicked out. Stevens went up top. Douglas shook the ropes to crotch him. Douglas hit the top rope superplex. Both men down. Douglas up at the count of eight. Douglas tried to pull Stevens up, and Stevens caught him with a small package for the pin.

WINNER: Stevens in 13:35. Good match. It felt like they skipped a step, as they jumped from quick one counts to selling huge and doing close near falls with very little in between. The story made sense - they bludgeoned each other half to death, but were too familiar with the other guy’s patented moves, so the finish had to come via the element of surprise.

Douglas and Adams were in a state of shock. A chair with the number “13” painted on it was plaice center ring. Douglas begged Fields not to make him get in it. Stevens was waiting with the hedge clippers. Douglas hemmed and hawed and ever so gingerly took a seat. “Please?” said Douglas. Just as Stevens grabbed a handful of hair, Santel approached the ring to distract. Adams sneaked into the ring, sprayed a boatload of something on his towel, and proceeded to smother Stevens. Douglas bolted for the front door. Stevens slumped to the mat with Santel putting the boots to him. The crowd chanted for “Hammer”. Graham said it smelled like tear gas. Santel scraped Stevens’ carcass off the mat and gave him the Santel Slam. “C’mon you got to be kidding me,” said Graham. Cut to a close up of Santel on his hand and knees taunting Stevens.

CLOSING THOUGHTS: Much like last week’s episode, the focus was almost exclusively on the main event. Unlike last week, it worked. The interviews and highlight clips did a stellar job of building it up. In Douglas and Stevens, you had two guys with big league looks, killing each other with big moves. The screw job on the haircut worked for me. I didn’t have a problem with SAW not honoring the stipulation, at least not right away. It’s not like it’s going to hurt their live crowd. The match didn’t draw to begin with, probably due in part to lack of promotion. SAW is almost exclusively a syndicated TV product. Still, there was something so weird and more than a little sad about a heavy stipulation match involving two of Nashville’s biggest stars being done in front of less than 100 people. The heat was disappointing. Fans were into the match, but it’s not like people were living and dying with every near fall. Now, if Douglas never loses his hair, THAT’S a problem. It’s fine to keep the viewers guessing, but sooner or later (usually later with SAW) they have deliver the goods, or the hype begins to ring hollow. This episode had a decidedly Memphis flavor. Any show with Derrick King is bound to have some, but this show was rife with it. Lots of good talking and tongue-in-cheek comedy. I was hooked from the moment King introduced Half Dolla. Then there was the infamous Mr Jacko, although there was no way he could top the unintentional comedy of his first appearance. It continued with the hilarity of A-Team’s future career choices for Stevens, and concluded with the hedge clippers, the lucky 13 barber chair, and the awesome facial expressions of Douglas. As for the rest of the show, they finally got back to teasing problems between Falk and Haskins. I liked Hammerjack’s problem themed promo on Young. Can’t say I’m looking forward to another one of their matches, though. Emerson again came across way better in a pretaped interview than he did in those ringside disasters. Bottom line: this was one of SAW’s best.