PWInsiderXTRA - WWE News, Wrestling News, WWE

UFC ULTIMATE FIGHTER TV REPORT

As has become tradition on The Ultimate Fighter (with the exception of Season 2), this season's coaches - Rashad Evans and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson - were scheduled to meet in the octagon once all 12 episodes aired. But this season, something happened on the way to the coaches' fight: Rampage developed a bad attitude. As in Baracus.
 
Earlier this week, Rampage announced that he is done fighting for the UFC, a decision sparked in part by his initial decision to delay his bout with Evans in order to reprise the role of B.A. "Bad Attitude" Baracus on the big-screen adaptation of "The A-Team." His out-of-nowhere retirement renders moot the supposedly tense rivalry he developed with Rashad during the show's taping this summer, but thankfully will not cost us another 11 episodes' worth of indecipherable gibberish, worthless coaching, and Janet Jackson impersonations. Tonight, Rampage will likely put all three on display again, as he retains - get ready for it - "control" of the fight selection.
 
Before the opening credits roll, we start tonight’s episode with a recap of last week's season premiere, which was a story of chasms - the chasm between legit mixed martial artists and untrained streetfighters. The chasm between Rashad’s solid game-planning and Rampage’s horrible “you gotta do something” cornering. The chasm between the right and left sides of Abe Wagner's forehead, which was split wide open en route to a one-sided loss to Jon Madsen. Tonight, Rampage will look to even the score.

Though he was the last competitor we met last week, Kimbo is the first fighter we hear from tonight. The former EliteXC main-eventer says he is impressed with the size of his new housemates, then adds that he expects to be the next to fight. Several fighters from Team Rashad are hoping to be his opponent, including Roy “Big Country” Nelson. Roy thinks they would put on a great show, and believes that a Roy-Kimbo bout would be a headliner anywhere. Yeah, I’m sure UFC president Dana White is rushing to scrap next month’s Machida-Shogun fight to make room for this blockbuster.

We join Kimbo and his Team Rampage teammates at the UFC Training Center, where Kimbo tells us that the show is a great opportunity to train with someone of Rampage’s stature. Gee, this is way better than training with that Bas Rutten guy. Anyway, Rampage says that he likes Kimbo because he reminds Rampage of himself, when he first got into MMA. Kimbo refers to himself as a sponge, and acknowledges that he is here to learn. As Rampage and assistant coach Tiki Ghosn look on and offer encouragement – while ignoring the rest of their team, apparently – Kimbo goes through some pretty impressive-looking wrestling drills.

Later, Team Rashad takes over the gym, and its namesake stresses the importance of his team’s mental strength. Though most of his athletes have a positive attitude, Rashad says that Roy consistently resists his coaches’ efforts to train him, challenging their advice and just generally goofing around. During Season 2, wasn’t Rashad on the team whose fighters showed up for practice in tighty-whities and bunny-hopped around the mats? Either way, Rashad and his coaches let Roy know that he is setting a bad example for his teammates, and implore him to shape up.

It’s time for this week’s fight selection, which Rampage will announce as soon as he’s done randomly calling out Roy. Swerve aside, we learn that Team Rashad’s James McSweeney will be taking on Wes Shivers. Having apparently learned nothing from last week’s nonsensical matchup, Rampage lets us know that this week’s fight was based on a personal effort to eliminate Rashad’s top guy, just to get under the coach’s skin. Hey, that’s a great idea, Rampage. Don’t let something like rationale or common sense get mixed into this. Needless to say, for the second consecutive week Rashad is excited about the matchup.

We meet James, who now trains in Albuquerque but is originally from London. Hey McSweeney, Season 9’s James Wilks called – he wants his British carpetbagger gimmick back. This season’s James tells us that he fights because he wants to, not because he had a rough childhood or grew up in a home with “broken parents.” Well, I’d hope not. As for this week’s bout, James recognizes that Wes will have a considerable size advantage, but notes that, despite what Rampage said last week, size doesn’t always matter. In fact, he says, there are disadvantages to being a bigger guy, including a lack of cardio and predictable movement inside the cage.

As Team Rashad winds up its practice prior to the James-Wes bout, Team Rampage shows up just as assistant coach Mike Van Arsdale is going all Phil Jackson on his team, laying down some heavy zen-type stuff. Rampage is unhappy that his guys have to wait for Team Rashad to clear the gym, and confides to the cameras that their behavior is rude enough to warrant being “ghetto blasted” – i.e., having Rampage break wind in their faces as they sit on the mat, philosophizing. The coaches argue over their allotted gym time, then walk away laughing, as Rampage playfully tells Rashad over and over again to “get up on out of here.” Despite the good nature of it all, Rashad reassures us – the potential PPV buyer – that their tension is real.

It’s time to meet James’ opponent, Wes Shivers, a Mississippi native with an NFL background. Wes tells us that he was drafted by the Tennessee Titans, but was cut and then picked up (and subsequently cut) by the Atlanta Falcons. Sounds like he’s got about as much NFL experience as Brock Lesnar. Wes lets us know he is 6’7 (shorter than the 6’10 James was trying to sell us), and will use his size and strength to overpower James. Wes says the fact that Rampage chose him to take out Rashad’s top pick is a big confidence booster.

Following a commercial break that includes a quick feature on Kimbo discounting his housemates’ criticism of him (based on his alleged wealth), we return to the UFC Training Center, where Team Rashad is hard at work. Rashad says his team’s chemistry and camaraderie are good, and that even Roy’s attitude has improved.

It’s Fight Day, and we watch James and Wes prepare for battle. Wes says he has no problem with James personally, but when cage door closes, his mentality will change. He isn’t entering the cage with the intention of hurting James, but adds that it may happen if it means victory for Wes. James, meanwhile, says that Wes hasn’t met anyone like him before, and if Wes doesn’t want it as bad as James does, he should just go home now and avoid the pain of a beatdown. Of course, we hear this voiceover as we watch Wes entering the cage on Fight Day, so isn’t it a little late for this?

We head to the octagon, where for the second week in a row, a moustache-less Steve Mazzagatti will be our referee. We’re ready to start, and though James offers to touch gloves, Wes declines. I guess he was actually listening when Rampage forbade anyone on his team a week earlier from touching gloves. Instead of using his 81.5-inch reach for sportsmanship, Wes uses it to land a stiff right jab on James’s face, spinning the Brit completely around. Wes bull-rushes him into the fence before taking him down, landing in side mount before transitioning to half guard. Wes blankets James for a while before going for a kimura, which results in James escaping back to his feet. Jeez, two minutes in and Wes is already sucking wind. James lands a high kick, but a few seconds later they exchange kicks, and Wes’ offering finds James’ cup. James takes a couple of minutes to recover (which also gives Wes a much-needed break), and the action continues at a fairly slow pace for the remainder of the round.

Between rounds, Rashad tells James to stick with the basics; Tiki, meanwhile, calls Wes “homie” and tells him to throw bombs. At the start of the second period, James comes out looking fresh, stinging him with a left jab and landing leg kicks at will. So much for Rampage telling Wes to check the kicks. Less than a minute into the round, Wes is already resting his hands on his hips. Finally, Wes catches a leg kick and dumps James on his back, then falls on top of him and catches his breath. Eventually, Wes passes James’ guard – accidentally, it appears – and takes his back when James turns over. Wes tries to secure a rear naked choke, but can’t get his left arm under James’ chin. James manages to slip out and return to his feet, where both guys spend the remainder of the round avoiding each other in order to catch their breath. In an especially pathetic moment, Wes hangs his hands over the top of the cage as James merely looks on, despite the desperate pleas of Rashad to move in. It’s hard to tell if James is exhausted or just tentative, but either way, this is a pretty weak display. James halfheartedly attempts a guillotine choke, but mercifully the round ends.

As we head to commercial, an ad appears imploring viewers to visit Spike TV’s TUF web site. I decide to do just that…and immediately find myself staring at an announcement for next week’s fight. Thanks for the spoiler, Spike! Hey, don’t worry about those of us on the West Coast or anything.

Thankfully, although one surprise has been ruined, another takes its place – the fight will not be going to a third round. Apparently two judges believe that James has won both rounds, and award him the fight via majority decision. The coaches recap the fight, with
Rashad particularly impressed with James’ kicks. Rampage says that Wes’ fatigue spelled the end of his game plan, and regrets that Rashad now has control of the fight selection.

We don’t need to wait until next week to find out whom he will choose to fight, however – at the end of this week’s episode (or earlier, if you live on the West Coast and visited the TUF web site anytime this evening), we learn that Kimbo will be taking on Roy next week. It may not be at the top of a pay-per-view card, but at least Roy-Kimbo will headline somewhere…even if it is on a cable-TV reality show.

Random thoughts:

Why was Team Rampage so worried about getting Kimbo ready to fight, when if they didn’t think he was already, they could just not pick him to compete this week?

Did Roy (13-4) really say that he and Kimbo (3-1) are “two veterans,” even though Roy’s MMA career has lasted more than twice as long as Kimbo’s?

And, isn’t it ironic that both defeated Bo Cantrell in their respective MMA debuts?

Didn’t Kimbo’s wrestling actually look pretty sharp during his mat drills?

Was I actually watching Rashad Evans – the same guy whose last appearance on TUF involved being dressed down by opposing coach Matt Hughes for his attitude – chastise a fighter for not respecting his coaches?

When Rampage teased that he would be picking Roy at this week’s fight announcement, did anyone else have flashbacks to Shonie Carter’s “Charles McCarthy, it is not you” fight announcement during Season 4?

And speaking of flashbacks, did you think you were watching last season’s Team U.S. vs. Team U.K. when you first heard James speak?

Doesn’t Team Rashad coach Mike Van Arsdale kind of look like a mannequin?

Between the British-born fighter named James who now trains in the U.S., to the coaches arguing over the training schedule, didn’t much of this week’s episode feel like a throwback to last season?

Did Wes Shivers remind anyone else of Swede from the Clint Eastwood movie “Heartbreak Ridge”?

Given that he basically just had a cup of coffee with a couple of teams, is it really accurate to describe Wes as a former NFL player?

Why was Wes so flattered that Rampage chose him to fight, when Rampage himself admitted the purpose behind his fight selection was more about digging at Rashad than picking a good matchup for Wes?

Just when Kimbo was starting to win fans for his humility, why did he have to go and brag about returning to his “big hole in the wall” once production on the show wrapped?

And considering that Abe holds an executive-level position with whatever company he works for, did Kimbo really think that he’s the only one whose “hole in the wall” is big?

If I giggled when Marcus Jones said that James wouldn’t be able to handle Wes’ “length,” does it mean I need to grow up?

Why would Wes say he wasn’t going out there to hurt James?

If that was true, what was he going out there to do?

There were three TUF-related features during the commercial breaks, and yet no one – including this week’s combatants – was in the spotlight, other than Kimbo?

What was with James sounding possessed in the locker room before the fight?

I know Rampage didn’t want his guys touching gloves, but shouldn’t the restart after Wes’ low blow have been an exception?

Can you imagine how loudly a live crowd would have booed the James-Wes fight had it happened on a pay-per-view card?

What’s harder to believe: Abe suffering a gunshot wound, or Abe having anything at all in common with Kimbo?

How horrible was Wes’ conditioning after about the first minute of the fight?

When Rashad’s voice repeatedly cracked as he yelled instructions to James, didn’t he sound like Forrest Griffin during Season 7?

Wasn’t it funny to hear Rashad literally begging James to be aggressive, even saying “please”?

Seriously, what was James waiting for?

Between Steve Mazzagatti being the referee again and the blood all over mat, isn’t it pretty obvious that this week’s fight was filmed right after last week’s bout?

Why did the voiceover for the TUF Season 9 DVD say it’s available now, even though an on-screen graphic showed October 13 as its release date?

During the post-fight recap, wasn’t it funny to hear Rashad say James was throwing leg kicks like he was working on pads, considering Rampage didn’t think having the guys hit pads would be a realistic way to evaluate them?

When Rampage said that James turned his back and ran during the fight, was I the only one tempted to yell back at the TV, “You mean, the way you turned your back on your own guy and ran at the end of last week’s fight?”

At the end of the post-fight recap, didn’t Rampage look just like Season 6 coach Matt Hughes when he blankly shook his head?

Is Rashad the only person ever to call Kimbo “the big black buck with the greasy beard” and live to tell about it?

When Dana was reacting to the fight announcement, why did he keep referring to Kimbo and Roy by their full names?

Why did next week’s preview ask whether Kimbo would prove he’s “more than just a backyard brawler,” when this week’s show ended with him admitting he is a fighter and not a mixed martial artist?

Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.