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THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER TV REPORT

Promotional material for this week's episode of The Ultimate Fighter promises that coaches Rashad Evans and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson will continue their war of words tonight. But, much like the head start he's gotten on accumulating more losses than any coach in the season's history, Rampage has gotten a head start on the trash talking by directing some tough words at what he calls "the TUF show." In a blog published on his web site Monday morning, Rampage confirmed what anyone who has seen even one episode this season already knew: “I don't give a f*ck about the TUF show or about the UFC.” Unfortunately, he also has not seemed to give a f*ck about any of the fighters on his team, two of whom still have a chance to keep their coach from going winless during the preliminary round. 

Sure, he could focus on preparing them both for victory, but as this week’s episode begins, Rampage has instead chosen to argue with Rashad at the gym. Rashad mocks Rampage for his first of two losses to Wanderlei Silva in Pride; in turn, Rampage makes fun of Rashad for his loss earlier this year to Lyoto Machida. In the midst of their banter, the coaches call a truce long enough to announce tonight’s fight. Actually, the truce lasts only for about the first 5 seconds of the announcement, as Rampage interrupts his opponent by calling him “Gay-shad Evans.” Wow, great putdown – I’m sure Rashad hasn’t heard that since he was in fifth grade. Anyway, Rashad finally lets us know that he has selected Matt Mitrione to take on Scott Junk, who is apparently Team Rampage’s best chance of winning a fight before the quarterfinals start. UFC president Dana White likes Scott’s chances, given that he has fought in the UFC before. Of course, this announcement means that the final preliminary fight will feature Marcus Jones against Mike Wessel, and the two of them face off as well.

As everyone breaks following the announcement, the coaches start jawing again. Rashad says that Rampage will quit when they fight at the end of the season, just like he has quit on his fighters. Of course, we now know that Rampage would go on to prove him wrong by quitting before their bout could even take place. Anyway, Rampage denies quitting on anyone, saying (within full earshot of this team) that his fighters are the ones who keep quitting. He then tries to convince everyone that he has been a good coach this season, though when he asks for validation from his fighters, they all look sheepishly at the ground. Though they briefly stand nose to nose, the coaches are finally separated. Later, Rampage says he was on the verge of knocking Rashad’s teeth down his throat, but then decided to quit thinking about it. OK, I made up that last part.

At the house, we see Matt stuffing a folded piece of paper into the front of his pants. I don’t even want to know where this is going. Without specifying how he got a hold of it, Scott informs us that the note, which was specifically written for him, said that the reason Scott has to fight Matt is because Mike was afraid to fight Scott. Scott goes directly to Mike, who of course denies the charge. Soon, all of Matt’s Team Rashad teammates know about it, and don’t like that Matt is selling out his own team.

As Matt trains, we learn that he is an NFL veteran who spent time with the New York Giants, San Francisco 49ers and Minnesota Vikings. What, no love for the AFC? Matt’s teammate James McSweeney says that Matt is at a disadvantage in the competition because of his lack of experience and technique. But that’s not all that he’s saying – James also tells Rashad about Matt’s note, which upsets the coach. Rashad confronts Matt, telling him it’s not his place to divulge anything to the other team, true or otherwise. Rashad is frustrated by Matt but wants to continue training him as a fighter, even though “he’s not all right in the head.” Has there ever been a season of this show where everyone in the house was right in the head? Matt says he is not crazy, but often finds himself answering to “the voices in my head.”

Later, Team Rampage trains, and Scott says that he will be looking to finish Matt by knockout. He adds that he will be fighting with his heart, and that anyone who watches the bout will easily be able to identify which fighter wants it more. Scott’s teammates are confident as well, with Kimbo Slice predicting that Scott will “bring the noise.”

As Scott’s teammates laud his skills, Team Rashad continues to give Matt the Zak Jensen treatment. Back at the house, Jon Madsen scolds Matt for helping himself to a glass of orange juice from Jon’s “family-size” container, claiming he should have asked permission. Matt calls Jon a d-bag, which is already second time in this episode that someone has used this term do describe a housemate. Bravely waiting until Matt leaves the room, Jon says that he will slap Matt in the face. Wow, tough-sounding threat. Because Matt wasn’t in the room to hear the comment, James McSweeney makes it his business to tell Matt about it.

Soon afterward, Team Rashad trains at the gym, and Matt and Jon are conveniently paired up for a sparring drill. Despite being told to go at about 60-percent effort, Matt goes full throttle on Jon right off the bat, hitting him with leg kicks and punches. When Jon tries to bring things down a notch, Matt flips out and starts challenging him, prompting the coaches to escort Matt out of the gym. In the dressing room, Rashad gets on Matt’s case, wanting to know why he has been too sore to train, yet is apparently healthy enough to try to fight a teammate. Rashad tells Matt to redirect that aggression toward Team Rampage. Despite saying that Matt “flexed on me” during the discussion, Rashad feels the talk was productive.

Back at the house, we see Matt and his allegedly injured shoulder shooting baskets in the backyard. Inside, his teammates predict that he will have a mental breakdown, and start a pool to guess exactly when “the rat” will snap. Didn’t we just do this last week with Zak Jensen? Self-professed funnyman Wes Sims says the tension can only be broken by “the gi,” which apparently is his superhero ninja alter ego. Donning a black gi with a white belt, Wes follows Matt around the house for a while, annoying him as he repeatedly walks away and keeps trying to busy himself with other things. Matt is in no mood to joke around, and recommends that Wes find someone else to mess with.

It’s fight day, and both guys are ready to go. Matt gets himself motivated by looking at the “when will the rat snap” sheet that’s taped to the mantle. Scott, meanwhile, is focused on Matt, and is envisioning “banging him, and after the fight banging him again in the house.” Not the way I would celebrate a victory, but hey, I’m also not the one who is trapped in a house for six weeks with no female contact.

Matt says it’s a big day, then unsuccessfully tries to be funny by quoting Will Farrell in “Old School.” No longer out of control, Matt tells his coach he is at peace, mainly because he talked to his wife. Telepathically. Rashad goes along with it, but later tells us that he had been thinking to himself that “this boy’s cheese fell off his cracker.” Matt says that he’s already beaten Scott half-a-dozen times in his head. Between conversations with his wife and fights with Scott, there sure is a lot happening in Matt’s head. Right about now, Rashad must be wishing he could trade fighters. Will be the first fight where Team Rashad takes up for the other team’s fighter before the bout even begins?

We head to the octagon, and see that though he is only 2 inches taller, Matt will enjoy a huge 8-inch reach advantage over Scott. Both fighters move toward the center of the cage, and immediately Matt adopts what can politely be described as an unorthodox-looking stance. Mere seconds into the bout, however, he sends Scott to the mat with a simple jab, then allows him to stand before dropping him a second time. Again allowed to get back to his feet, Scott is specifically instructed by his corner not to kick, but he does anyway; Matt makes him pay by catching his foot and dropping him with a punch, James Irvin-style. Some of Matt’s punches seem to pack a lot of power, but he also looks sloppy at times.

After being dropped five or six times, Scott realizes that Matt’s reach advantage is overwhelming, and goes for a weak-looking takedown that, not surprisingly, does not work. Matt continues to fire away, but 3 minutes into the bout, is slowing down considerably. Both guys stall along the cage for a while, with Rampage telling Scott simply to “score points,” then just start teeing off on each other. Matt’s hands are way down by his sides, and he eats punch after punch for about 15 seconds before finally unloading some shots of his own. Things get exciting toward the end of the round, but the final 10 seconds are incredibly pathetic, as neither guy has anything left. As the round ends, Dana acts all impressed at cageside, totally overselling the first round as a Bonnar-Griffin re-enactment. Yeah, because getting punched in the head a bunch of times because you’re too tired to defend is quite an accomplishment.

It’s time for Round 2 to get under way, and right away it becomes apparent that the minute-long break between rounds didn’t really help either fighter. Both men look exhausted from the outset, with Matt throwing slow leg kicks that, for some reason, Scott can’t catch. Though Matt is presumably too tired to defend a takedown, it takes Scott about 90 seconds to finally shoot. This time, he is successful, though he is able to do little inside Matt’s guard. Matt, meanwhile, pats Scott’s back with his fists, as if he’s playing the bongos. Seeing a lack of action, the referee stands the fight up, and both men spend the round’s final minute or so catching their breath. The bout has become laughably bad, with Matt literally running away at one point to stall for time. These guys don’t look like they want to fight at all, which only makes sense, considering I don’t want to watch them fight anymore.

Mercifully, we are not subjected to a third round, as Matt wins a rare majority decision. Team Rashad improves to 7-0, which drives Rampage to the boiling point. After once again abandoning his fighter in the cage, he retreats toward the locker room, and on his way back completely decimates a door that seems to be about as sturdy as the one Chris Leben punched in half in Season 1. Ironically, Rampage and the door seem to have become unhinged at exactly the same time.

Random thoughts:

When Rampage was making fun of Rashad’s loss to Machida for the second time this season, wasn’t it pretty obvious that he’s running out of material?

Why was Scott acting so intense during the meaningless faceoff following the fight announcement?

And why do the fighters hold a faceoff pose when there are no photographers there to capture it?

Why did Dana automatically think Scott would have the edge because he’d fought in the UFC before, even though that fight was an unimpressive first-round submission loss two years ago?

And if that weren’t enough, didn’t Wes Sims show us that having UFC experience means nothing in this competition?

What was with Marcus’ weird stance during his faceoff with Mike?

When the coaches started to argue following the fight announcement, did anyone else feel like they were watching the Ken Shamrock-Tito Ortiz pull-apart during Season 3?

Why did the show’s producers bother subtitling any of the Rashad-Rampage argument?

Did anyone else feel like they were watching a tennis match during the quick cuts between the coaches during the “You’re a coach”/”I’m not a coach” debate?

Doesn’t the UFC have people who can produce a new UFC 106 spot, now that the main event has been pulled from the card?

And why did it feature sound bites from Shane Carwin, but not Brock Lesnar?

If Matt wanted Scott to know that Mike was allegedly ducking him, why did he write it in a note instead of just telling him?

When Matt talked about the “voices in my head,” did anyone else immediately hear Randy Orton’s theme music playing in their mind?

Aren’t you glad that Spike TV kept the streak alive for running commercial-break vignettes featuring Wes Sims?

Did Jon really think he sounded tough when he threatened to open-hand slap Matt?

I mean, couldn’t he have come up with something a little more menacing?

How come Matt’s teammates gave him such a hard time for being a rat, yet no one had a problem with James ratting out Jon for his threat?

If Matt really wanted to fight Jon during sparring, was spitting out his mouthpiece really the smartest thing to do?

Wasn’t it funny to hear Team Rashad assistant coach Mike Van Arsdale tell Matt to calm down, when at that moment Rashad was the one who was yelling and needed to relax?

If Matt “flexing on” Rashad was such a pivotal moment in their locker-room discussion, why didn’t we get to see it?

Given his own verbal sparring with Matt Hughes during Season 2, wouldn’t Rashad know a thing or two about TUF contestants butting heads with their coaches?

Considering that he looked like a novice in his fight a few weeks back, wasn’t it appropriate that Wes Sims’ “gi” character was a white belt?

Wasn’t this whole lame joke a good reason for returning to the old system of having eliminated contestants move out of the house?

Why did someone care enough about the “when will the rat snap” pool to write “do not remove” on it?

And when he saw it, why didn’t Matt simply tear it off the wall?

Why did Dana make such a big deal out of Scott’s professional experience, when he has only had nine fights?

After watching him snap jabs in Scott’s face during the first round, would you have guessed that Matt had an injured shoulder?

Why wasn’t Matt looking to finish the fight when he repeatedly put Scott on his back during the first round?

Did anyone else start having Wes Shivers-James McSweeney flashbacks toward the end of the first round?

In between rounds, did Dana honestly believe he was watching a classic fight?

Both guys deserve credit for having a great chin and a lot of heart, but seriously, where was the cardio?

Did the promos for this week’s episode really call this “the fight of the season”?

And what does it say for the rest of this season’s bouts, if that was as good as it gets?

Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.