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Tonight we have arrived at the halfway point of The Ultimate Fighter’s 11th season, and so far we have had no drunken shenanigans, no destruction of walls or furniture at the TUF house, and no forced drama between the coaches. Sure, Tito Ortiz and Chuck Liddell have a history of bad blood, but so far both coaches have stayed out of each others’ way. Which has actually been pretty easy for Chuck, considering he has been a no-show for nearly half of his team’s fights thus far. Still, Team Liddell holds a 4-1 lead over Team Ortiz, a deficit Tito hopes to close a bit tonight.
We start tonight’s episode with Team Ortiz leaving the UFC Training Center. On the way home, Kyacey Uscola criticizes Tito’s coaching, saying the fighters are being pushed too hard during training and are worn down by the time they have to fight. Is it just me, or is there one of these whiners every season? Kyacey uses last week’s loss by a gassed-out Kris McCray as an example, and says that the blame falls on Tito, who should know how to train his fighters. Yeah, because we’ve never seen guys on this show whose cardio is lacking, regardless of how intensely they’re being trained.
Team Liddell – or should I say Team Hackleman, for the assistant coach who seems to always have to lead training sessions – takes over the gym, and during the workout following last week’s victory by Josh Bryant, Chuck arrives and congratulates the winner. He then talks about the two guys on his team who have yet to fight – Court McGee and Joe Henle – and is impressed with both. Chuck is then seen inside the cage with his fighters, and apparently is introducing a new line of fight wear that includes jeans and an army jacket.
Back at the house, Minority Report members Jamie Yager and Kris McCray discuss their training, and both agree that Tito is not overtraining them. In fact, Jamie puts Kris over despite his losing effort last week, telling his teammate that “I’m proud that you just went out there and you did your dizzle.” Thanks, Snoop Dogg. Actually, what am I saying – Snoop hasn’t talked like that since 2003. Jamie says that Tito is doing a great job. What he doesn’t say is why he is casually wearing a brace on his wrist. What is it with this season and the casual treatment of potentially serious injuries?
As if to prove that Tito is not overtraining his guys, we head back to the gym, where we see his fighters warming up by skipping in a circle. Canadian Nick Ring says that the practices are hard, but that he appreciates the challenge of Tito’s workoats. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page, Tito – who is pulling a Chuck and wearing jeans to his team’s workout – sits his guys down and tries to convince them that he knows what he’s doing and should be trusted. Tito says that, despite being 1-4 right now, he knows that this season’s winner will be someone from his team.
After a commercial break, we are back at the gym, which has apparently been decorated with a cheesy vinyl banner. Wait, why are they showing rubber balls? And why is UFC president Dana White standing there with a whistle around his neck? Where are we? Oh no, not the coaches’ challenge…. Sure enough, both teams walk through the door of what appears to be a YMCA, and we learn that Chuck and Tito will be competing in dodgeball for $10,000, with each member of the winner’s team pocketing $1,000. So that’s how much someone’s dignity costs. Tito says he’s “just excited to hit Chuck with my balls,” apparently trying to be funny but instead not realizing all he did was make himself sound gay. Dana tries to convince us that Chuck and Tito will care about the bragging rights they will enjoy if they win the competition. If that’s the case, why bother paying the winning coach anything?
With no explanation of how the teams were picked, we are prepared for our 4-on-4 matchup, which will be won by whichever team is the first to win three games. Team Ortiz (or, as Tito calls them, Team Punishment) wins possession of most of the balls. Dana says that the game starts with guys picking off opponents left and right, despite the fact that our footage shows players dodging balls. Suddenly, Tito is left facing three Team Liddell members, who pick off their opposing coach and send their team up, 1-0. Game 2 ends similarly, as Chuck nails Tito for the win. Ditto Game 3. Chuck celebrates his victory, pointing out that Tito can’t beat him at anything. Afterward, Tito tells us that he was competing with a cracked skull. OK, not really.
Are you feeling breathless from all the excitement of that competition? If so, you’d better get ready to go again, because it’s time to announce this week’s fight. Chuck has selected Court to take on Nick. As the two prepare to face off, Nick tries to go all Ricki Lake on him, waving a finger in his face and saying, “Oh no you di’int.” Which is exactly what I thought when I saw him breaking out this unfunny gesture. Nick says he did it because Court called him oat, even though Chuck was the one who announced the matchup. Nick says that, “If you’re going to go oat, go oat with style.” Glad to see Nick thinks he’s going out – way to be confident, buddy.
As we watch Court train, Chuck says they are expecting Nick to throw a lot of kicks during the fight, and will prepare Court accordingly. Court acknowledges that Nick brings an impressive record into the bout, but vows to “put it on him” nonetheless using a combination of muay thai and Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Back at the house, Court confides to some of his housemates – including a pre-cast Clayton – that he is a recovering drug addict who once nearly died following a heroin overdose.
It’s time for Team Ortiz to train, but before we can learn about Nick, we see that James Hammortree has sustained a back injury during a routine drill and has to be stretchered out by the most aloof medics ever. Tito says that he had been considering James for a wildcard position, but the injury has led him to reconsider. Yeah, watching one of your fighters being taken out in an ambulance will do that to you.
Eventually we do get to meet Nick, who tells us he is back in MMA following three years spent recovering from various knee surgeries. Tito is impressed with Nick’s standup and ground game, and predicts an easy victory via submission or TKO. Meanwhile, James has an update on his condition, and says his back injury is not as bad as originally thought.
Following an uneventful weigh-in, it’s Fight Day. Nick is excited to compete, saying that MMA is the “most pure sport oat there.” Court, meanwhile, expects the fight to be a “gut-wrencher.” Does that mean that, in the tradition of so many TUF fights before it, it’s going to be so horrible, it will make me sick?
The bout starts, and Court steps in with a clean jab to start the action, which he follows up with a fairly easy double-leg takedown. Working from Nick’s guard, Court can’t do anything, and Nick is able to make it back to his feet. Both men begin unloading with kicks, which Court was expecting but is still eating a lot of them. Court finally shoots for another double, but Nick sprawls and winds up taking Court’s back. Court eventually ends up on his back, and holds Nick in his full guard for the remainder of the round. Gotta give it to Nick so far, even if the fight has looked pretty amateurish.
Both guys come out throwing kicks to start Round 2, and for the first couple of minutes, Nick and Court do little more than exchange timid-looking kicks and punches. In fact, other than Court dipping for a minimal-effort double-leg that was easily defended by Nick, these guys spend the entire second round throwing hands and feet. Nick seems to be having some success firing kicks into Court’s legs, but otherwise both guys appear to be very unsure…until the closing seconds, when Court begins unloading punches that appear to be doing damage.
Both fighters prepare for another round, but we learn that the judges have come back with a decision for Nick. Chuck openly complains about the decision in the octagon, calling the decision “embarrassing.” Actually, the fight itself was more embarrassing than the decision, with both guys inexplicably reluctant to commit himself or try to execute any real game plan.
Random thoughts:
During the pre-show recap, why did Clayton say he was out of the competition, “for now”? Did he really think he might recover from shoulder surgery in time to get back into the running for a wildcard slot?
I never really listened to the lyrics of the show’s theme song before tonight, and thus never knew how lame they are. I mean, “Bear witness to the fitness of the modern warrior”? Really?
Considering he already lost, why did Kyacey care so much about being overtrained?
If he wanted to rest so badly, why didn’t he just sit out?
When did Chuck start talking with a lisp?
During his team’s open discussion, why did Tito invite Kyacey to speak, then immediately interrupt him?
Wasn’t it kind of funny to see Tito so easily put Kyacey in his place by pointing out the improvement Kyacey has seen in his own conditioning since?
Why in the world is the coaches’ challenge Dana’s favorite part of the competition?
Does Dana really think this season has more coach-versus-coach hatred than any since Season 5?
Did he not see the Hughes-Serra feud unfold during Season 6?
Did the start of the dodgeball matchup remind anyone else of the start of an XFL game?
After all that Chuck has accomplished in his MMA career, did I really hear someone refer to him as “a beast” for his dodgeball acumen?
Did we really need an electronic scoreboard for a 4-on-4 dodgeball game?
Also, would the game have been any worse off had Dana not been there to officiate?
Why was Chuck so sweaty at the end of the match?
If Chuck wanted to show Team Ortiz he could “take out their best guy,” why did he wait until the sixth fight to do it?
Not to doubt the severity of James’ injury, but isn’t it hard to believe that a slow-motion takedown during a drill could result in such a painful injury?
During the Court-Nick fight, who was the cornerman whose voice sounded like a hybrid of Richard Simmons and Chyna?
Toward the end of Round 1, how did Nick not go for an underhook after Tito demanded it like 12 times?
Up until they showed him between rounds, did you even know that Chuck was in the building during this week’s fight?
Will you be tuning in to the “Ultiamte Fighter podcast” this week, as was recommended by the ticker at the bottom of the screen?
Seriously, don’t these guys have spellcheck?
After seeing Jamie becoming just the latest TUF contestant to mouth off to his team’s opposing coach, did anyone else wonder who these novices think they are every season?
Wouldn’t it have been funny if Chuck responded by pulling a Karo Parisian and asking simply, “Do you know who the f*** I am?”
Did you notice at the end of the episode that, when Chuck returns to the locker-room area, the doors already feature the names of next week’s fighters?
Why did next week’s preview say the bout would be the “last preliminary fight,” when the wildcard bout will take place during the preliminary round as well?
Not that I’m complaining, but how come this week’s episode didn’t feature any outtakes during the commercial breaks?
Are we really now halfway done with the season?
Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.
