THE FUN HOUSE MIRROR ISSUE 12
By Craig Roll on 5/16/2010 10:14 AM
Welcome back to the Fun House Mirror, where we look at a reality television show that wants to look like a MMA show but often looks like a bad pro wrestling show, and we look at a reality television show that wants to look like a MMA show but comes off like a good pro wrestling show.
There was some NXT action on RAW again this week as in a multi-man tag match where Daniel Bryan pins Santino.
Is this a sign that Bryan will survive this week's cut? Or is a swerve, giving Bryan a reason to come back to WWE TV after being cut?
This week on NXT will be the first week that really matters because one of the contestants will be hitting the bricks. Now, waiting this long might not have been a bad thing if WWE had been spending their time developing characters instead of telling the fans what think. I know that VKM knows what the people want better than the people know themselves, but the point of this show was find a new superstar, not to ram a new superstar down everyone's throat.
This week, I am hoping to see the good writing team show up and have tons of insert videos from the contestants weighing in on the relative strengths and weaknesses of the contestants in the ring.
Will the A-Team show up? VTR, come on!
We start with a recap which was overproduced in the typical WWE style.
Matt DW Striker starts us off with an old school introduction of the rookies as they walk to the ring. They come down to the show's theme music. I wonder if we will ever get to hear the entrance music that Wade Barrett supposedly won by winning the talk about completely random topics contest?
The rookies come down without their pros. Bryan and Heath slap the fans hands on the way. Darren pulls on the chain around his neck. Is he a big Junk Yard Dog fan?
Otunga is so concerned that he has head phones on.
Will they spoil the surprise by announcing it right away or will they have one more challenge so that one person who is in danger of being eliminated can start a dramatic come back?
"The butterflies and angst in their stomach." Wow, bad Michael Cole day alert!
But first, a RAW recap with Daniel Bryan's small package on Santino in the 8 on 4 tag match.
Striker then calls out Tarver on saying that Tarver himself should be eliminated.
Bam! They get right to the point and Tarver is wished well in his future endeavors. However, Striker does have a large logic gap when he says that the main reason that Tarver was eliminated was because he didn't believe in himself. Didn't Bryan last week say that he should also be eliminated because he hadn't won anything yet? Or, can Bryan fall back and say "well, I won yesterday, so I should stay"?
Tarver exits while throwing a tantrum to a loud chorus of boos, and, not the right type of boos.
But, Striker does follow up on Bryan and confronts him next. Will it be double elimination time? Bryan has been working through an infection so this could be a gimmick to protect him.
Dang! Double wammy! But, I can't say that this surprises me any. Putting on my aluminum foil hat, let me say that the whole show seemed to me to be VKM's way of making fun of the non-WWE marks by burying their "darling" American Dragon Bryan Danielson.
Taking the hat off, I'm also sure that Bryan has so far made more money in the WWE than he usually makes in a year on the indy circuit and who knows, they might bring him back "next season" with a more sympathetic coach and be completely rebuilt as a pure WWE personality.
Bryan is all smiles as he leaves and gets a good ovation. Maybe he is all smiles because he doesn't have to deal with the Miz?
Heath looks utter dumbfounded. Even Cole is shocked.
Now, if Striker was really supposed to be the Dana White of WWE NXT (without the bleeping of every other word), this is where Dana would start burying the two guys who just left saying they lacked intestinal or testicular fortitude.
Wow, swerve after swerve! There will be ANOTHER elimination tonight, this time by the pros ranking. Now, I have to go back to last week to see who I ranked sixth (since I had Bryan and Tarver as tied for seventh and eight).
Searching the data base, it says I picked Heath Slater. However, my list wasn't really all that serious. After all, I put Skip at number two because I felt that VKM would look at Skip and see a usable big man.
But, if I can be serious for a minute, I think it is now down to Otunga and Sheffield.
An unanswered question remains. Who will Cole pick on now?
But, with the pros watching their every move, it's now time for Heath and Wade to exercise their last chance to make an impression. They're going to hook 'em up!
And, they have a pretty good match! Wade gets some heat on Heath with his power but Heath stages a comeback with at least some baby face fire behind it. Wade catches Heath for his finisher, but Heath has it scouted and elbows out and then hits a neck breaker that for once doesn't look like crap. Heath goes to the top for a cross body but Wade catches him in mid air and then powers Heath up to a fireman's carry and then hits his finisher.
I think both guys managed to get in what they needed to survive.
Striker is in the back interviewing Tarver. As usual, a lot of words but no conclusions. Striker asks him what's next and he walks off.
Sheffield versus Young is next. This is a continuation of their rivalry from a couple of weeks ago when Young inserted himself into a Sheffield versus Tarver match. In that match Young pinned Tarver after Luke Gallows attacked Sheffield on the floor, trying to help Tarver win.
Cole hates Young's head band and thinks he should be eliminated just for that. Well, it's not as dumb as wrestling with jewelry on, cough Shannon Moore cough, and it doesn't look sturdy enough to be used as a weapon.
Wow, Cole comes out and says that he will miss Bryan because now he is out of material.
Sheffield has Young's finisher scouted and powers out of the full Nelson flap jack. Sheffield then hits his piggy back stunner to pick up the victory. Is this match Skip's salvation?
Even William Regal is impressed after the match.
So of the rookies remaining, the only ones left who are in conflict with their pros are Young and Otunga.
We then get a Smackdown Rebound recapping the situation that went down with NXT pro Matt Hardy and Drew McIntyre. Also with NXT implications, NXT pro Christian fights Kofi Kingston to crown a new intercontental champion this Friday. Baby face versus baby face? Will this be the setting for a heel turn? And, if Christian turns heel, how will that affect Heath?
We have a recap of Tarver's elimination. Maybe he should pull a Randy Orton and say that he has a mental condition where the things that he says don't make any sense and should not have been eliminated because he said that he should be eliminated.
Then we get comments from Bryan. He says that Daniel Bryan might be done but there is some guy called Bryan Danielson who he has heard good things about. Is this a rebranding angle?
Otunga versus Gabriel is next. Gabriel beat Otunga a couple of weeks ago with a roll up when R-Truth refused to illegally help his rookie. If Otunga loses again then things could look grim.
Gabriel gets some shine early but Otunga trips Gabriel as he tries for a spring board move to take over.
"Gabriel uses his feet as well as he uses his arms." Okay, this is the Michael Cole smokes crack version of NXT.
Otunga uses his crappy looking choke slam finisher to get the win. Even in victory Otunga did not look impressive, even though he used some Razor Ramon style slaps and foot shoves while Gabriel was down.
So, who is going home? Will it be someone who won tonight? Or, will it be Young, Slater, or Gabriel? I would actually send home either Sheffield or Otunga, but what do I know? Barrett seems to be the safest person to bet on staying, but after that ...
Will Striker do the gimmick of counting down the scores from top to bottom with the last one eliminated?
But, first Striker wants to find out who Young thinks should be eliminated and Young finally gets out that it should be Wade Barrett. Sorry Young, not happening tonight.
Wade has a good laugh over this.
Heath thinks it should be David "A-list" Otunga because he doesn't belong here. Heath and Otunga had a face off last week, so this continues their story line.
Striker reminds everyone that Gabriel has immunity so Wade is the second safest bet tonight. Gabriel doesn't care, but when pressed says David Otunga because of his attitude.
Skip Sheffield jumps on the Otunga bandwagon saying that he doesn't belong.
Otunga fires back and says that the one man hick band Heath Slater should go saying that Heath is a David Otunga wanna-be. Heath is outraged at this comment. After all, MVP is the David Otunga wanna be.
Wade also jumps on the Otunga band wagon but doesn't give a reason.
And, the verdict is:
Wade Barret #1 - No one didn't see this coming
David Otunga #2 - What? Way to give away that this is a worked show WWE writers.
Justin Gabriel #3 - Why not? Heart throbs do draw money.
Heath Slater #4 - Well, at least in my picks last week I had them back to back in that order.
So, it's between Sheffield and Young, the two guys who wear chains around their necks. Will they send someone home who is 7-3?
And, rightfully so, Skip is eliminated. He's someone who desperately needs repackaging. Hey, WWE writers, look up The Crusher on Youtube if you need some ideas.
Young has a GREAT smug look on his face.
Skip indirectly blames himself for being misguided in not taking William Regal's advice from day one, but promises to be back.
He gets mild boos on the way out.
Now, it is down to five. Will we start seeing fewer rookie versus rookie matches?
But, hold the phone, next week there will be another elimination! Young needs to do something to outshine Slater next week or else he will be done.
One funny note, when the WWE spammed their "did you know" segment I at first thought that it was saying that NXT was #1 for SYFY in their time slot. Well, duh, nothing else runs for SYFY in that time slot! However, with a rating of 0.84 what else are they going to say? We beat TNA when they run on Monday nights?
To counter the intrigue from NXT, this week on The Ultimate Fighter we have our last regular first round match up as the the Gieco Caveman takes on a replacement fighter for Chris Camozzi (broken jaw). We also find out who among the vanquished will rise again in the wild card fight.
VTR, come on!
The start with a recap of last weeks fight where Nick Ring gained a majority decision over Court McGee. Both Liddell and Clayton McKinney give their opinion that Nick did not show what he could do with his boxing or his take downs.
Nick then makes a shocking confession. He hurt his knee in his fight against Woody Weatherby to get into the house and feels that he might have hurt his ligaments more in the second fight.
The fight announcement is next and Joe Henle versus Seth Baczynski is announced which is no surprise since they are the only two fighters left. Tito gives Joe the nickname "Apeman".
Dana predicts that Seth will win a lopsided match, which bodes badly for Seth's chances.
We then get out profile piece on Seth Baczynski who is there because he loves to fight.
Joe then has a even more shocking confession, that he is relatively new to the fight game and basically got into it because they had wrestling and jujitsu at the gym he was going to. Rich Attonito worries for his teammate, feeling that he might not have the proper mind set to survive the cage.
We then go to a Team Punishment's training session and Nick's knee buckles during sparring. Nick then gets some (rather justified) paranoia over his team mates seeing his injury and talking about it in the house to potential quarter final opponents.
The defeated Team Ortiz fighters then give their opinions on why they should be in the wild card fight.
The fight starts relatively early in the show, but we still have the wild card announcements, so it is not a lock that the fight will be a broadway.
Seth versus Joe is an interesting contrast as Joe is all hair and tattoos and Seth has no ink or hair.
The first round is about 95% wrestling as Joe takes down Seth and Seth defends for several minutes and then reverses and lands more blows in one minute than Joe did in three.
In between rounds we see that Seth's ground and pound got to Joe who has a large bruise on his face.
The second round starts with a minute of stand up before Seth pulls guard. They then continue to wrestle for the rest of the round. At the very end Seth clamps on a rear naked choke and has it cranked but Joe is saved by the buzzer.
However, Joe controlled most of the round we might get a third round.
In the third round Seth gets an early take down and never looks back, completely controlling the round from the top.
So, Seth advances!
Now it is time for the wild card choices. Last week I choose Court McGee to fight Kris McCray.
Team Tito gets both slots in the wild card fight as Kyacey Uscola takes on Kris McCray. Team Liddell's Court McGee winds up taking over Rich Antonito's slot. So, Hammortree and Henle remain on the outside looking in.
Next week: the wild card fight, the quarter final picks, the first quarter final match and a stunning announcement. My guess the announcement will be that Nick Ring will pull out due to knee injury. Will Henle and Hammortree do rock paper scissors for the slot?
