Welcome back to the Fun House Mirror, where we look at a reality television show that wants to look like a MMA show but often looks like a bad pro wrestling show, and we look at a reality television show that wants to look like a MMA show but sometimes comes off like a good pro wrestling show.
There is no rest for the Fun House Mirror as news was exploding all weekend.
But, first, if you were participating in a poll for how long it was going to take for WWE to flush the NXT invasion angle down the toilet and you had your money on less than one week, then congratulations, you win!
On Friday the WWE wished Daniel Bryan the best in his future endeavors. Why? Did Bryan fail a drug test? Heck no! Taking drugs is NOT manly. Did Bryan perform poorly in a match or angle? Heck no! After the angle ran on Tuesday everyone was happy.
However, as it was reported on Pro Wrestling Insider, the word going around is that Daniel Bryan's actions, such as choking a tech monkey out with his tie, were TOO VIOLENT for some of the WWE partnered companies. Daniel Bryan meet Abdullah the Butcher, another guy who is too violent for the WWE.
So, unless this is some VERY ELABORATE WORK, the WWE just let go of their best prospect from NXT season one for doing his job TOO WELL.
Mind blowing.
So, I suspect that this is the last we will hear of the invasion angle and Wade Barrett will soon be wrestling with Santino.
Also going down on the weekend, the TUF coaches go it on in the octagon and while Rich Franklin took some damage (including a broken left arm), at the end of the first round he rearranged Chuck Liddell's face while delivering a knock out punch with his right.
Fast forward to Monday saw the further annihilation of the NXT invasion angle as the seven remaining invaders were seen running from, you guessed it, Santino.
The WWE stands for What's Wrestling UrkEl?
But, enough about ranting and raving about the WWE's mistreatment of the season one cast. There's a new episode of season two to rant about.
And, after the beat down last week, how are the rookies and pros going to get along?
Let's roll the tape.
We start with a replay of the beat down from last week. I am forced to recall the words of Wade Barrett from Monday: On NXT we were treated like animals so it's no surprise that we acted like animals.
Is the WWE making the same mistake?
Matt Striker is in the ring and says that there are unanswered questions from last week. So, he invites out the NXT rookies. Is that such a smart move, Striker? You were the one who fed them to the wolves last week and yet you're willing to be in the ring with them eight on one?
However, the rookies are on their best behavior so Matt has a chance to invite out the pros and even the odds. The pros come down in their street clothes.
Matt then has the pros explain their actions from the previous week.
MVP cuts a good promo, explaining that the beat down last week was an initiation and their paying for the transgressions of the season one rookies.
The rookies are okay with this and the pros shake hands with their rookies. Well, all of them except for Lay Cool and Kaval where Lay Cool is hugging him and pushing in the dimple on his cheek.
Next up Kaval versus Alex Riley. Somehow I suspect that Lay Cool will interfere and cost Kaval the match.
We start off with Lay Cool doing an embarrassing in ring promo for Kaval, followed by a video package reviewing Kaval's past.
Lay Cool joins the announce team and mute buttons go on all over the country.
The match is pretty good for a NXT match. Kaval righteously kicks Riley every way a person can possibly be kicked. Kaval then goes for the Warrior's Way double foot stomp but Riley moves out of the way and hits the TKO out of nowhere for the pin.
Kaval loses to one move? Will Kaval go 0-12 and then be wished well in his future endeavors? Is this the first stop on the Bryan Danielson express?
Alex then cuts a pretty good promo explaining why the Miz wasn't there. Somehow, he seems less allergic to Matt Striker this week.
Lay Cool then cut their usual promo saying they haven't given up on Kaval.
Then we get the pros impressions. Morrison says that he was impressed by both rookies, but the Miz wasn't in LA partying as Alex said, he was getting a liposuction consultation.
Then Zack "he's not a rookie?" Riley contributes by hitting on the ring announcer chick.
Striker then tries to get comments from Cole and Mathews, and Cole does not go off on tirade on Kaval (like he did on Daniel Bryan) so at least that will be different.
We then get a promo package on Eli Cottonwood. Eli has one thing going for him, he comes across as a typical personality less plodding WWE big man with no wrestling or martial arts background. On the other hand, he does come from a basketball background (like the Undertaker and Kane) which means that he might know about kayfabe, specifically selling your opponent's incidental contact to try to get the ref to call a foul.
We then get a RAW recap. At least the RAW recaps this season are related to NXT.
We then get some spam for the PPV this weekend where the season one rookies have given Brett Hart an ultimatum to respond to their demands for contracts. Also, C. M. Delirious gets a chance to show that Jack Swagger is a lady man in their four way match.
We then have a hidden camera segment showing Zack and Titus O'Neil making up backstage. The WWE never misses an opportunity to put on bad pro wrestling ideas.
Speaking of bad pro wrestling ideas, we then get the obligatory overproduced promo package, this time for Husky Harris.
We learn that Harris thrived on contact sports as a youth, has a football and a amateur wrestling background, and is a very fast individual.
Next up we have a tag match with Team Kayfabe, Kofi "the fakin' Jamaican" Kingston and Michael "don't call me Hennig" McGillicutty taking on Team Strong Luck, Mark Henry and Lucky Cannon.
We find out that Michael's mother's maiden name is McGillicutty which makes things make sense for now.
At one point in the match Cannon powders out of the ring after taking a drop kick and then Henry joins him on the outside after being dropkicked by Kofi. But, since this is a WWE match instead of a Chikara match, this was not the set up for a bunch of running dives to the outside.
This match is interesting because Cannon and McGillicutty wrestle most of the match. McGillicutty is clearly several levels ahead of Cannon in terms of smoothness, in terms of athleticism and in terms of variety of attacks. McGillicutty wins with a sweet looking spinning neckbreaker and deservedly so.
Kofi gives his man high marks. Mark says that his man has potential and that he feels lucky to be his pro.
Cody Rhodes then cuts a cruel promo on Cannon saying that he is all style and no substance.
Mark Henry takes umbrage to this and challenges Cody to face Lucky. Matt races down to the row of pros on the entrance platform and asks Cody if he will accept. Cody says that he will accept but it will be for next week. Matt then asks Cody what we have to look forward to and Cody BLASTS Matt with a clubbering forearm to the neck and Matt bumps off the platform some three and a half feet to the concrete floor.
Cody walks off to the back as the rest of the pros look on in shock before helping Matt to close the show.
So, how would I rate the rookies?
1) Husky Harris (0-1)
2) Michael McGillicutty (1-0)
3) Kaval (0-1)
4) Percy Watson (1-0)
5) Alex Riley (1-0)
6) Lucky Cannon (0-1)
7) Eli Cottonwood (1-0)
8) Titus O'Neil (0-1)
Harris and McGillicutty could start tomorrow on the main roster. Kaval still looks a little on the indy side but his kicks were brutal and impressive. His ranking might suffer if he has to job to the entire roster like Daniel Bryan did. Percy has tons of talent and an idiotic gimmick. Riley is okay on the microphone but just there in the ring. Lucky is also just there in the ring. Eli and Titus are competing to see who is going to make Michael Tarver look more like a wrestling gawd by their ineptitude.
So, how will The Ultimate Fight Counter? With a clips show?
Kuso! Does this mean I have to watch this crap? Oh, well, roll the footage.
We're basically getting a review of the year, hitting all the relevant plot points. Since they were discussed on earlier fun house mirrors, I will just list them as bullet points:
* 28 fighters & wild card slots
* some brutal qualifying matches
* Chuck's picks are questioned
* Tito rides Clayton McKinney to test his fighting spirit
* The Minority Report running amuck
* Kyle Noke taps Clayton McKinney by triangle choke
* Chris Camozzi out with broken jaw, Seth Baczynski in.
* Brad Tavares over James Hammortree by decision
* Kyacey Uscola versus Jamie Yager feud
* Rich Antonito over Kyacey Uscola by DQ (illegal knee strike)
* Rich Antonito out by broken hand
* Jamie Yagar over Charles Blachard by ref stoppage
* Josh Bryant over Kris McCray by decision
* Coaches' dodge ball (really?)
* James Hammortree tweeks back in practice
* Nick Ring over Court McGee by judges decision
* Nick Ring out due to knee injury
* Seth Baczynski over Joe Henle by judges decision
* Kris McKray taps Kyacey Uscola by arm key lock
* Court McGee taps out James Hammortree by guillotine choke
* Tito pulls out of his coaches fight against Chuck Liddell with a neck injury
* Kris McKray over Kyle Noke by judges decision
* Brad Tavares over Seth Baczynski by DQ (pretending he was Randy Orton)
* Josh Bryant over Jamie Yager when Yager cannot answer the bell for round 3
* Tito is removed from show, Rich Franklin in
* Court McGee over Brad Tavares when Brad was chocked unconscious by the rear naked choke
* Jamie versus Hammortree, Uscola and Clayton McKinney in trash talking
* Chris McKray over Josh Bryant by referee's decision.
And that is the season in a nutshell. The only news from this week's so called show is that Rich Antonito wins the Jamie Yager lottery to fight Jamie on Saturday on the live finale. One clip that they don't show in the recap is the clip showing that Rich and Jamie were friends in the house.
So, whose fighting cuisine will reign supreme? I think that Court will win over Chris and Rich will win over Jamie, finally sending The Minority Report packing.
Looking back on this season of The Ultimate Fighter, one thing stands out. Other than the preliminary fights there were zero knockouts. There were some taps and some pass outs but no knock outs. Also, both guys in the finals lost during the season. Since this isn't a booked show, cough kayfabe cough, it doesn't make sense to say that they should have "booked" the season better, but with the chaos in the coaching and the lack of dominate stars this season unfortunately turned into a bust.
Will the finale redeem the season? They are going to need some amazing fights for that to happen.