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Welcome back to the Fun House Mirror, where we look at a reality television show that wants to look like a MMA show but often looks like a bad pro wrestling show, and American wrestling companies who think that they are Mexican wrestling companies.
Last week we had an American lucha libre show debut on MTV2. It was good. But will it continue to be good?
Last week we had an NXT wrestler get immunity. Who will go home this week?
But, before all that, this weekend I had the good fortune to catch three "indy" shows in the Northeast. Evolve 4, The Dragon Gate USA PPV taping, and Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show.
This, to put it simply, is wrestling that doesn't suck.
All weekend I was treated to matches with storylines behind them that were fought with intensity.
In Evolve, the storylines were that people were trying to improve their win-loss records, and some of the wrestlers were trying to harass some of the other wrestlers out of Evolve. The winning wrestlers gave interviews after each match to catch every one up who hadn't been at the previous shows. And, they had a genius gimmick (that I wish had been carried forward all weekend) where a male and female wrestler were hanging out outside of the building all night claiming that they were on the card but the guy had misplaced their passes.
In Dragon Gate, one of the storylines was that many of the American wrestlers wanted to be a representative of one of the Dragon Gate Japan factions. Another of the storylines was that BxB Hulk (a wrestler who does a boy idol gimmick) was currently under siege by one of the factions and they had, gasp, shaved his head and stolen his dancing girls. The Japanese Dragon Gate wrestlers are among the fastest, most powerful, and stiffest in the world and they brought their A-game so almost all of the matches were top rate.
In Chikara, most of the matches had storylines, from the ongoing storyline how Eddie Kingston doesn't respect Claudio Castagnoli, to how Daizee Haze and Sara Del Rey want competition, to how the Chikara techincos wanted to test themselves against the top guns of Dragon Gate. They even threw in a subtle touch, building interest to their upcoming video game Rudo Revolution by bringing out the character Vökoder at the end of a match even though Tim Donst was already in the ring (Donst was Vökoder under a mask) and only Pinky Sanchez was "able to see him". The implication being that the great and devious Ultramantis Black has discovered a way to bring back to life old characters in an attempt to take down the BDK.
So, after a weekend like that, will the stuff on TV seem lame?
Let's hit play on the VCR and find out.
The show starts hot with Solid trying to teach a fellow luchador, Super Nova, about the joys of Danish and donuts. They are interrupted by the rudo Sydistiko who tells Solid that the beat downs had just begun and throws a Danish in his face. Solid chases the rudo into the hall where he is jumped and beat down. Super Nova is also beat down off camera.
This is the first night of the tag team tournament and it will be Super Nova and Charlie Malice versus Sydistiko and Lizmark, Jr. Will the beat down affect Super Nova's chances?
Lujo Esquire and the mini Octagoncito (techincos) take on the mini Misteriosito and Rellik in our first match. Wow, Lujo is a techinco?
Rellik has a detachable front part to his mask that he seems to act like he feels it is alive.
Lujo and Octagoncito win when Octagocito pins Misteriosito with a crucifix pin. Not a bad match.
Rebecca Reyes tries to interview Sydistiko about the backstage altercation but he pleads innocence, saying he only threw a cookie.
The tag team tournament match is next. The rudos Sydistiko and Lizmark, Jr. are out first. We find out that Marco Corlione has shaved Lizmark's hair down in Mexico, although it looks like it has grown back nicely.
Charlie Malice is a technico? This guys is known as Charlie Manson in Mexico!
Supernova is still selling the off camera beat down from earlier in the show.
This is a heated match with the technicos getting beat down before staging a comeback. However, Malice is distracted by Rellik who appears on the stage and gives the rudos the opening the need to secure the win and advance in the tournament.
The rudos continue the beat down after the match until Marco Corlione comes down to chase the rudos off.
Tigressa Caliente is confronted by Mini Park in a weight room and Tigressa gives him a beat down for his trouble.
Rebecca Reyes interviews Tigressa and the former Rocka Kahn looks a lot better than she talks.
RJ Brewer gives us another blatantly racist promo, slathered with patriotic imagery.
RJ then has a confrontation with Magno in the dressing room and they start brawling their way to the ring.
This match is pretty good with RJ getting heat by doing things the American (or Canadian) way. The end is interesting as it was the same ending that was used last week on the Chikara podcast. After a referee bump Magno takes off his mask and gives it RJ and the referee disqualifies RJ.
In a cute touch RJ has SB1070 on the back of his trunks (the number of the Arizona Immigration Act).
Will NXT be able to counter this?
NXT starts cold this week with a recap of the fact that someone is going home this week.
All of the pros are on the stage as Matt calls for the rookies to come to the ring.
Eli is rocking a mustache T-shirt. I think WWE is pushing hard to get him eliminated.
We start off with a verbal challenge as the rookies get one minute to talk about anything they want except for why they shouldn't be eliminated.
Lucky Canon is first and he cuts a promo on friends. It is initially not well received, but he works through it.
Eli Cottonwood cuts a promo saying that he is the only one in the "WW universe" who can look into the eyes of the dead man. Was Eli the one who "injured" the Undertaker?
Husky Harris topic is "husky". He cuts a promo saying that the other rookies look like Tarzan and fight like Jane. I don't know, I heard that Jane was a pretty tough shooter in her day ...
At this point I am hoping that Solid and Tursas do a run in and sit on these jabrones.
Kaval topic was dreams. In it he name drops Lo Ki. At least Lay Cool was impressed.
McGillicutty uses his time to call out The Miz for calling him "mediocre" last week on the promo package.
A-Ri's topic is Starbucks. He blatantly gives a promo on why he shouldn't be eliminated.
Percy Watson wraps us up with a promo on living hard and playing harder.
And, if we haven't been Percy-fied enough we get the pro opinion promo package on Showtime. Most of the comments are positive.
The first match is rookie versus rookie
Watson takes the rookie
Josh Mathews mentions that Zach has walking pneumonia but decided to compete anyway.
The Acid Casualties review the tape from last week's obstacle course challenge. John tries to coach Eli, but it is doubtful if anything John says gets through.
Then, because one recap is not enough, we get a second recap of the obstacle course challenge.
Cottonwood versus McGillicutty is next. Michael cannot be eliminated this week, but of course wants to keep his "perfect" record intact.
Michael gets dominated early but then seizes an opening when Eli misses a big boot and gets hung up on the top rope. This leads to an offensive surge my McGillicutty ending with the swinging neck breaker for the pin.
This and the "mustache" T-shirt might be John "Johnny Nitro" Morrison's career low point.
Ashley Valence introduces the pro's opinion promo package on Kaval.
Husky Harris has a backstage confrontation with Kaval, claiming that he bumped into Kaval because he couldn't see him. I would have chuckled if Kaval had mentioned that Harris couldn't see him because Harris was too fat, but he didn't.
Kaval versus Harris is next.
In this match Lay Cool are knocked to the floor which distracts Kaval long enough for Harris to put him away with an inverted DDT/ fat man's senton splash for the pin fall.
We then get a recap of Nexus on raw. The gist is that Cena's team is not a cohesive unit like the Nexus is so they will be at a disadvantage at summer slam.
It's elimination time as the rookies are lined up outside the ring.
Number one with a bullet is the 5-0 Michael McGillicutty. Kind of surprising to me since he really isn't a convincing baby face.
No surprise at number two as Kaval continues his strong showings.
A-Ri moves up to number three on the strength of his heel promos.
Percy Watson falls from number two to number four. Perhaps the talk show segment hurt him?
So, while we have had some movement in the top four, no one from the bottom four moves up.
Lucky Canon stays at number five, so it's down to Eli Cottonwood and Husky Harris.
And Eli Cottonwood is GOING HOME as Husky Harris moves up to number six.
Eli is offered a chance to address the WWE universe and he takes his opportunity to attack Husky Harris. Several of the other rookies move to pull Eli off and eventually he retreats up the ramp. He then shoves his coach John Morrison.
Harris then cuts a promo saying that he has been winning recently and he doesn't understand why he wasn't ranked higher.
McGillicutty cuts a promo saying that he will win the competition because he won't lose any of his matches.
A-Ri says that he wasn't concerned about being in a melee with Eli because he is a better athlete than Eli.
A-Ri gets into a confrontation with McGillicutty which leads to, at The Miz's urging, a brawl. Eli runs back down and joins the melee, which of course leads A-Ri into avoiding him like the plague.
This week, Lucha Libre USA takes it in a landslide for better action, better promos and better backstage skits.
On the other hand, the Chikara Pod Cast A-go-go continues to have more cool stuff in ten minutes than both shows have in sixty. This week the BDK uncork a move called ragnarok that you will have to see for yourself to believe. Also, they have a match between Team Delicioso (Los Ice Creams and Curry Man) vs Team Perros del Mal where the mini wrestler (and I mean mini) Cuije totally bamboozles his rudo opponents with tomfoolery.
So will the finishing move in next weeks Lucha Libre USA show be ragnarok? Will John Cena get more on screen time than one of the season 2 rookies? Tune in next week to find out.
