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So, are we watching season 11 or season 12? Perhaps due to the quantity-over-quality mentality that this series has adopted in order to constantly churn out new seasons, the current installment of TUF isn’t breaking a whole lot of new ground. The fact that the UFC’s weekly e-mail to fans encourages them to watch tonight’s episode based on the coaches working to "push their teams to the limit," doesn’t exactly scream Must-See TV. Still, here we are…hoping tonight will somehow be different.
Fans tuning in aren’t the only ones hoping for a breath of fresh air; coach Josh Koscheck is also relying on a change in his team’s luck, having already gone 0-3. We kick off tonight’s show with a montage of scenic footage of Las Vegas, a city no stranger to watching visitors go winless. Koscheck sits alone in the gym, waxing philosophical about his team’s dismal start, and proclaiming his hopes that his team will adopt his system of coaching, because "the system works." Yeah, if you want to lose every fight you compete in.
As his team prepares for a training session, he lets them know that their guest coach for the day will be fellow UFC welterweight Jon Fitch, who shares plenty with Koscheck: a wrestling background, a training team, and a one-sided loss to rival coach Georges St-Pierre. Great to see Fitch on the show – because if anything is going to keep me awake on a late Wednesday night, it’s watching Jon Fitch train.
Back at the house, it’s time for more hijinks featuring Junie
Browning Jamie Yager Alex "Bruce Leroy" Caceres.
Tonight Alex has annoyed his housemates by replacing fabric softener with
bleach. Wow, these guys do laundry? Teammate Michael Johnson is not happy,
expressing his disdain that Alex would "run the risk of f*cking up someone’s
whole wardrobe like that." I’m not sure which is more disturbing: Alex being
reckless with his housemates’ property, or someone referring to a bunch of tacky
Tapout T-shirts as a "wardrobe."
Team GSP has arrived at the gym, and learns that Koscheck isn’t the only coach who can bring in a guest trainer. GSP’s choice is French muay thai specialist Jean Charles Skarbowsky, a man who – according to Team GSP’s Dane Sayers – sleeps only three hours a night and routinely "gets wasted" before practice. Cool, I didn’t know Chris Leben was back on the show. We then watch footage of him sparring with the guys, easily thrashing them all. Because nothing says "impressive" like a former world champion bullying a team of novice athletes.
Following a quick interlude at the house, where Alex acknowledges he has an abrasive personality that men don’t like but that women "love the sh*t out of," we return to the gym for this week’s fight announcement. GSP has selected Spencer Paige to take on Team Koscheck’s Nam Phan, a selection that Koscheck predictably refers to as "a great matchup for us." After the obligatory faceoff, Spencer shares his observation that Nam refused to make eye contact when the fight was announced, and even looked sad. Maybe because Nam knows that a fight for Team Koscheck seems to be an automatic loss.
Following a peek into the TUF house backyard, where Nam somehow impresses his housemates with a cardio regimen that includes a pedestrian-pace jog around the perimeter of the lawn, we join Spencer in the gym, where GSP praises his heart and compliments his standup. Spencer himself believes that his boxing and hand speed will make the difference in this week’s bout.
Nam, meanwhile, doesn’t mind being stereotyped as someone who doesn’t look like a fighter, and likes that he gives off a nice-guy aura because, as he says, "I don’t want to always come off like a douchebag." As if there might be times where that is how he wants to come off. Koscheck watches from a distance and is impressed with Nam’s preparation, believing he will come out victorious.
In the midst of practice, Chuck Liddell walks into the gym, prompting Team Koscheck to break into applause. Holy crap, maybe this is season 11 after all. Sako Chivitchian explains his team’s excitement over Liddell’s guest appearance, saying The Iceman is "somebody that we could relate to." Right – he’s a UFC Hall of Famer and former champion, and you’re an up-and-coming lightweight who has had no official fights in the octagon. I mean, how can you not see the relation? Liddell motivates the team to remember to love what they do, and appreciate the time they have in the sport.
It’s time for this week’s weigh-in, which is preceded by a really awkward exchange involving Koscheck trying to get under GSP’s skin by taunting him with a French accent and offering to leave MMA in exchange for a kiss. And I thought only the fighters went stir crazy during the show’s taping. As we watch both guys get on the scale, Dana breaks down their matchup, saying that Nam is a "well-rounded guy, but he’s got really good standup." As if the latter statement would be unexpected alongside the former. GSP thinks that Spencer will have the edge "if the fight gets a little violent." Um, isn’t that kind of the point of a fight? That’s like saying a concert will be good if it gets a little musical.
Fight day is here, and Spencer is nervous. In fact, he admits to typically being "scared, scared, scared, scared," until he actually steps into the cage. Nam is nervous as well, so much so that, as he says, "I can hear my breath breathing." Ah, spoken like a true disciple of Koscheck.
Referee Herb Dean gets the action started, and Spencer comes out with a dynamic striking strategy relying heavily on kicks. After eating several of them, though, Nam figures out his timing, and counters with a straight right that sends Spencer to the mat. Spencer gets right back up, but spends the next couple of minutes in retreat mode, making Nam chase him. Spencer goes back to the body kicks that worked earlier in the round, but eventually Nam is able to telegraph one, countering with another straight right that again drops Spencer. Nam begins raining down punches from a standing position, but Spencer is able to withstand the onslaught and rides out the round.
Spencer comes out for round 2 with a pained look on his face, which almost immediately gets worse when he eats a liver punch, then appears to injure his leg when countering with a body kick. Nam smells the blood, and methodically attacks over the next couple of minutes with a series of kicks and punches to the body. With 2 minutes left, Spencer has gone into survival mode, throwing occasional, insincere strikes that appear more for show than with any bad intentions. He even shows his frustration by shouting out an f-bomb, but doesn’t go for a takedown or do anything to really change up his strategy. Instead, Nam remains in control, and cruises to a unanimous decision.
Later, Spencer reveals he injured at least one of his shins in the bout, and also broke his hand, leaving him relatively defenseless in the second round. As medics tend to Spencer in the locker room afterward, an overjoyed Team Koscheck taunts him by pounding on the wall from the other side. Man, how sweet it is to be 1-3.
Random thoughts:
Why did Koscheck introduce Jon Fitch to the team, when he obviously had already been standing there for a while and presumably had already met everyone?
And, did you notice him immediately tearing the sleeves off his brand-new T-shirt?
When Jean Charles Skarbowsky walked into the gym, did his chest hair initially lead you to believe you were looking at a shirtless Austin Powers?
How bad must Alex’s social skills be, when the equally unpopular Jeffrey Lentz is the one giving him advice on how to be more likable?
Why does Koscheck always think every single fight that GSP picks is a "great matchup"?
Why did Cody and Spencer seem so impressed with Nam’s 15-20 minutes of slow backyard jogging?
And why was he wearing a ballcap during his run?
Jeez, could this show have squeezed in any more guest appearances this week?
Did you see Spencer’s tattoo of the word "perfection" with a line drawn through it?
Why did Koscheck promise to trash-talk GSP if Nam won, considering he’d still have an unimpressive 1-3 record?
Considering it’s the pre-main event motto of Strikeforce, shouldn’t Spencer have found something to say other than, "It’s showtime"?
How weird was it to see Spencer walk to the cage in a pair of jeans?
During the USMC commercial, why did Nam say he gets pumped up when the bell rings, when the UFC doesn’t use a bell to start a round?
Did you hear GSP ruining the element of surprise for his fighter by telling Spencer to fake his strikes?
Was I the only one getting annoyed with GSP yelling "heeeeeeyyyy!!!" after every single strike Spencer threw, even from his back?
How ironic was it for Spencer to hurt his shin with a kick, when earlier in the backyard we saw him bragging about how tough his shins are?
Given how quickly Spencer faded in the second round, isn’t it kind of a surprise that Nam couldn’t finish him?
Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.
