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For fans of The Ultimate Fighter’s third season, this month is more than just the creation of UFC marketing folks known as “Brocktober.” We’re seeing a reunion of sorts, starting with last week’s UFC 120 victory by season winner Michael Bisping, and continuing with this coming weekend’s matchup between coach Tito Ortiz and Bisping’s TUF teammate and nemesis, Matt Hamill. The concept of coach versus contestant is an intriguing one. Though, when applied to our current season, it is also a laughable one – the very thought of any of our current crop of lightweights lasting even a minute with Frankie Edgar or BJ Penn is about as fathomable as any of the post-loss injury excuses Tito has offered in recent years.
Still, these guys are still considered up-and-comers, and tonight four more of them will step into the cage for the chance to make their dreams come true. By virtue of last week’s victory by Nam Phan, coach Josh Koscheck and his 1-3 record will assume control of this week’s first fight selection. But first, he must assume a presence in a locker room decked out with nothing but pictures of himself. Just like at home, I’m sure. Almost immediately upon walking in, Koscheck and an assistant begin to trash-talk Michael Johnson, who was the top pick of opposing coach Georges St-Pierre. Michael later describes the encounter as having had his adversaries attempt to “do a little double-team action on me, pile up on me in the locker room.” Hey, I know it’s 10 p.m., but isn’t this still a family show? As Michael exits the room, Koscheck makes the censors sweat even more by saying that “I like to run it, I can run it.”
As his team trains, Koscheck gives away the secret to his team’s future success: “The matchups that we’re possibly looking at are matchups that give us the best opportunity to keep control and keep winning the fights.” Now that’s some creative game-planning. Koscheck gathers his team to get their thoughts on what those matchups should be. Later, the team gathers again, this time at the TUF house, where the celebration of last week’s win by Nam continues, much to the dismay of Team GSP. Kyle Watson tells viewers that his team won its first three bouts and “didn’t rub it in at all.” Yeah, totally – Alex “Bruce Leroy” Caceres, for example, was the picture of sportsmanship after his win. The night is capped off when Koscheck himself makes an appearance at the house and jawjacks with several Team GSP fighters.
It’s time for this week’s first fight announcement, where Koscheck reveals that his top pick, Marc Stevens, will be taking on Cody McKenzie. Koscheck then explains his selection by dropping a handful of intelligible words into a sea of “um”s and “uh”s. As the fighters face off in front of Koscheck, Marc smugly smiles and trash-talks Cody, who gives the coach a flick under the chin as he walks away. Several Team Koscheck fighters take exception to the gesture, including Sevak Magakian. Let’s hope he doesn’t retaliate by doing something drastic, like throw a napkin at someone.
As Team GSP trains, Cody lets us know that he is an unorthodox fighter who is more brawler than athlete. His coach adds that Cody has a lot of heart and doesn’t fear anyone, which makes him dangerous. Cody is committed to finishing Marc and collecting a $5,000 bonus. Of course, he’s also committed to the belief that, if he faced Koscheck in a fight, “I’d throw him a beating.” Based on his idiosyncrasies – which place him somewhere on the border between “quirky” and “nut job” – something tells me this isn’t the first time he’s been committed to something. Or someplace.
Team Koscheck soon takes over the gym, and its coaches are preparing Marc by telling him to watch out for Cody’s guillotine, claiming all 11 of Cody’s victories have come by guillotine. Actually, Cody’s unblemished record includes wins by TKO and rear naked choke, but either way, Marc vows that Cody will not submit him. The team wraps up its practice with a “hard work/pays off” dueling chant that is very slow getting off the ground, despite Koscheck’s claims that “we got rhythm, baby.”
After both guys make weight for this week’s first bout, Marc psyches himself up for the fight by saying that his opponent is “ignorant, he’s uneducated, he’s a punk is what he is.” I know, Marc – if only we all could possess your model citizenship. Cody vows to knock Marc “off his pedastool a little bit,” and says that he “ain’t no punk.” OK, maybe there was a little something to that “uneducated” part.
We’re ready to fight, which for Cody does not involve touching gloves with his opponent at the outset. Instead, Cody rushes in and immediately throws a straight left. He follows up with a kick, which Marc catches and uses for a takedown…only to end up in, you guessed it, a guillotine. A whole 18 seconds into the fight, Marc is unconscious, and Team Koscheck’s winning streak comes to a screeching halt. Afterward, Koscheck can do little more than look the other way, apply lip balm, and say, “Man, oooof.”
Almost before Marc can wake up, both teams reconvene for the next fight announcement, where GSP reveals that Jonathan Brookins will take on Sevak. Jonathan tells us that he uses yoga to stay balanced in life, then adds that he loves MMA because it helps him develop – or, as he puts it, “do like the plants do, and just go up toward the sun.” Um, OK. I can think of one plant Jonathan seems pretty well acquainted with.
During a training session with Jonathan, GSP sustains a cut to his eyebrow that will require stitches, an injury that Koscheck spots as the teams transition at the gym. GSP promises to be fully healed in time for their title fight, but Koscheck says it won’t matter because he’s planning on tagging GSP’s chin instead. In response, GSP tells Koscheck the same thing that Las Vegas oddsmakers will be saying regarding his hopes of a December victory: “Good luck with that.”
It’s time to get to know Sevak, a fighter whom Koscheck refers to as an alpha male yet says is “outspoking and outgoing.” Well, Josh, you’re half right. He also says Sevak has a great personality, and accordingly is “a lot like me.” OK, make that one-third right. Sevak says that, as an Armenian, he is a natural-born fighter, and says he will use his family as inspiration to win the show.
We head to the gym for the bout, and backstage Jonathan is going on about the universe, and how it “allowed me to be here, in the course of all the things that could have happened and did happen.” Wow, I didn’t know Luke Cummo had been hired as a scriptwriter on this show. Sevak, meanwhile, says that he is desperate to win this bout, and does not want to have to rely on a wildcard spot.
We’re under way, and in the amount of time it took for Marc to go unconscious earlier, exactly one punch has been thrown. Before long, though, things pick up, and Jonathan scores a takedown with an impressive throw, moving immediately into side control. As Sevak stands up to escape, Jonathan jumps on his back, and after about a minute is able to slide his arms under Sevak’s chin, securing both a rear naked choke and – when Sevak taps out – another victory for Team GSP.
Random thoughts:
In the lower right-hand corner of our screens, why did the Blue Mountain State countdown clock read 00:00:00 for about 20 minutes into the episode?
At the beginning of the show, how ironic was it to see some tubby assistant coach tell Michael that he had weak cardio?
Why did Michael and Kyle Watson knock on the house door when they arrived home?
I mean, don’t they live there?
Why was Jonathan surprised that Team Koscheck celebrated last week’s victory “like they’d never won nothing before,” when at 0-3, they hadn’t?
Didn’t Marc realize he was making himself look like a tool by acknowledging his desire to be a “mini” Koscheck?
At the first fight announcement, did you notice that both coaches had the “Tapout” logo on their jerseys covered with black tape?
Why did Koscheck threaten to take his team’s wildcard spot to face Cody, when it would mean having to compete at 155 pounds?
Why did Marc say the undefeated Cody was about to become 11-1, when TUF bouts are considered exhibitions and don’t count on a fighter’s record?
Even though his arrogance was obnoxious, wasn’t it kind of funny to see Marc look completely disinterested during the post-weigh-in faceoff with Cody?
Why did both sides continually bring up Cody’s 11-0 record, only to have the tale of the tape reveal he is apparently actually 10-0?
Wasn’t it funny to see GSP wearing a red shirt and comparing Cody to a charging bull?
When GSP said he had hoped to keep his cut hidden from Koscheck, why didn’t he just pull down the sunglasses that were already on his head?
When they showed Sevak sparring with his hands down, was I the only one hoping he wouldn’t actually fight that way?
Then again, given how things actually went down, would that have been such a bad strategy?
Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com
