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THE FUN HOUSE MIRROR ISSUE 35

Welcome back to the Fun House Mirror, the column that looks at an MMA show that has the feel of an old school territory professional wrestling show and a United States company that wants to put out a Lucha Libre influenced product.

Last week on the Ultimate fighter we saw a fighter that no one took seriously rise to the occasion to take out a more highly thought of competitor.  This week we have two fights "scheduled" (in quotes because time passes on the show in a completely different manner from the way it was shot).

Will we get some good fights?

We start with Josh talking trash to Michael Johnson who is getting stretched by a chiropractor.  Big surprise.

We then go to a strategy session with Team Koscheck.  Team Koscheck has their first three picks: Marc Stevens (7-2), Sevak Magakian (8-3), and Sako Chivitchian (5-0) ready to be picked to fight.  Their potential opponents are Johnathon Brookins (11-2), Cody McKinie (10-0), and Dane Sayers (7-1).  Cody is somewhat feared for his finishing move and his unbeaten record.

Back at the house we find out that Michael and other members of Team GSP are not happy with Team Koscheck's attitude.

Kyle Watson remarks that his team won three fights without rubbing it in, conveniently forgetting the one man trash talking team of Alex Caceres.

We then get more trash talking as Josh pays a visit to his team and then runs his mouth some more.  Michael calls Marc Stevens Mini-Koscheck which Marc takes as a complement.  I wonder if Mini-Park got a chuckle out of that.  And, I wonder if Marc's booty-tastic rump shaking victory dance at the house is him trying to emulate Josh's homo-erotic taunting of GSP?

Time for the fight pick.  This pick will have nine possibilities.  The possible choices for the pick after this narrows to four and then the last pick will only have one choice.  So, this pick will set the tone for the rest of the first round.  I'm still going with Mini-Kos versus Dane.

However, I get faked out!  It's Marc Stevens versus Cody McKinie.  Or, Mini-Kos versus Mini-Southern Justice.

Koscheck has talked an awful lot of smack so far on Cody.  Will these insults come back to haunt Team Yellow?

Cody flicks Josh's chin during the fight face off.  This does not sit well with Team Yellow.

GSP says that Cody is at a disadvantage because he is facing the number one person picked, conveniently forgetting that GSP did some mind games on Josh so that Josh would not pick Michael Johnson.

We find out that Cody does not have much of an athletic background, but fights because he thinks that it's fun and wants to get paid.

Marc on the other hand has been in athletics and fighting since he was five.  He plans on avoiding Cody's finisher by keeping the fight standing up.

Time for the weigh in, brought to you by some beer, a product that has prevented people from making weight for hundreds of years.

DW points out that Marc won his fight to get into the house by knockout.

Cody explains to Nam that Marc is better than him in nearly every category you can think of, but Cody was going to win anyway.

And, since we have two fights today, it's time to get it on.

Cody refuses the code of honor before the fight so there will be no glove touching.

The tale of the tape shows that Cody is two years younger than Marc and has a four inch height and five inch reach advantage.

The fight starts with Cody rushing Marc.  Marc sidesteps and completely forgets his game plan and goes for the take down.  Cody slaps on his version of the Guillotine and IT IS OVER!  Marc is KNOCKED THE F' OUT!

Team Yellow looks absolutely shocked.

Is Team Koscheck headed for 1-6?  After all, Team GSP still has it's number two pick left, and they have control.

Quote the Koscheck, "Did that just happen?"  Gee Josh, maybe you shouldn't be talking to DW about a catch-weight fight between you and Cody?

Team Koscheck is then shown to be overly stressed out over the fact that they no longer have control of the picks, conveniently forgetting that other than the order of the last two fights, there are only two ways the fights can be picked.

And, since this is a two fight show, we go right to the fight announcement.  GSP picks Johnathon Brookins (11-2) to fight Sevak Magakian (8-3).  This is quite a topsy turvy season when the two number two picks fight in the next to last fight of the first round.

Time to squeeze in some character development.  Brookins, he of long curly hair, is into yoga and is of mixed heritage.

As for Sevak, we find out that he has been Sako Chivitchian's training partner for the last eight years.  At least we were spared the bromance angst that would have occurred if they were on opposite teams.

And, it's fight time!  And, the tale of the tape looks almost completely even.

Wow!  While this fight isn't as short as the Cody fight, it is almost as one sided.  After some feeling out, Johnathon fakes a shoot and Sevak looks like he loses his balance slightly.  Johnathon pounces on him and hits him with a head and arm suplex into side control.  From there he takes Sevak's back with Sevak in the standing position.  But, unlike Kyle Watson who fought his way out of that position by controlling his opponents wrist, Sevak has no such luck and Johnathon sinks in the rear naked choke for the submission victory in two minutes.

Next week, we have Sako versus Dane plus the wild card announcement.

So, who should be in the wild card match?

Aaron Wilkenson should be a lock.  He can at least make the claim that Michael Johnson was lucky that the judges didn't give Aaron the fight after two rounds.  Let's face it.  Worse judge's decisions have happened!

Other than that the waters get murky.

Jeffery Lentz?  Got tapped out with the world's slowest triangle choke and is a drunk.

Andy Mann?  Got dominated on the ground and might have just given up in the second round.

Marc Stevens?  At least he should still be fresh considering that he only fought for eight seconds before getting put to sleep.

Sevak Magakian?  He got all of zero offensive moves in during his fight.

Spencer Paige?  He at least showed fighting spirit by refusing to throw it in even though he was hurt.  But, by the same token, he might be too banged up to compete.

How can Chikara compete with this this week?  With a CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas Match (tag team title match) between The BDK's Claudio Castagnoli & Ares (champions) versus the challengers Incoherence Hallowicked & Frightmare.  This match was at Aniversario Elf.

As it is BDK's custom, they stacked the deck as best as they could by having their own referee preside over the match.  However, the BDK could not take it easy as even though the referee's counts for the BDK were slow, they weren't that slow.  Highlights of the match include several instances of Hallowicked using Claudio's muscular body as a weapon against his own partner, and a spot where Claudio threw Frightmare up into to the air for a European Uppercut only to have Frightmare break up Claudio's timing by grabbing the rafters and then hitting Claudio with a Huracanrana.

We also have a match between Tommy Dreamer and Eddie Kingston.  Tommy gets Eddie in the Texas Cloverleaf but Eddie will not tap.  Then the BDK referee comes in and takes out the regular referee.  He then asks Tommy if he wants him to ring the bell even though Eddie hasn't tapped.  Insulted, Tommy grabs the referee how disqualifies Dreamer.  Dreamer prepares to give the rouge referee a tombstone piledriver but Claudio Castagnoli & Ares hit the ring to try to take out Dreamer and their hated enemy Kingston.  This doesn't work out for them and they wind up having to flee for their lives as Dreamer and Eddie come back.  Less fortunate is the BDK's ring announcer Jacob Hammerschmit who gets caught in the crossfire and eats a Backfist to the Future and a Spicoli Driver.

So, lots of action this week.  Let's hope for some more next week!