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We begin this week’s episode with a guy who didn’t make enough of an impression during his spirited loss last week, Dane Sayers. Though he’d hoped to be selected based on his heart and determination, both coach Georges St-Pierre and UFC president Dana White explain that Marc got the nod because he has a better wrestling pedigree, and needs less time to develop than Dane. Speaking of guys with impressive wrestling backgrounds, GSP brings decorated amateur wrestler Cleopas Ncube to work out with his guys…well, some of them, anyway. Alex “Bruce Leroy†Caceres, the Team GSP rabble-rouser whom the show’s producers have back-burnered for the past several weeks, chooses the massage table over the mat, much to the dismay of his teammates. We are then treated to a montage of shots alternating between Alex getting rubbed and Michael Johnson getting spanked by Ncube. Literally.
As Team Koscheck takes over the gym, we are reminded that teammates will battle tonight, as Marc takes on Aaron Wilkinson. Koscheck feels that Marc has a lot of potential, but didn’t get to show it last time because he “got tapped out kind of early.†If by “tapped out†you mean “choked unconscious,†and by “kind of early†you mean “less than 20 seconds into the fight,†then yes, you’re right. Several of Marc’s eliminated teammates passive-aggressively feign support for their teammate, whose selection came at their expense; Marc, of course, feels the spot is justifiably his.
In the locker-room area, Koscheck is again this week engaged in a spirited discussion with Team GSP medic Brad Tate, affectionately known around these parts as “male nurse.†I don’t know – considering Koscheck probably wants nothing to do with Team GSP striking assistant Phil Nurse, anyone with that surname might be someone to avoid. Despite Koscheck’s claims that “we kept it very professional,†the video shows the pair dueling with a toilet plunger and trash can. Which makes sense, given that this garbage deserves to be flushed.
Following a brief visit to the TUF house, where Michael confronts and criticizes Alex for his lack of training, we return to the gym to meet Aaron. Wait, we’ve met this guy already? Why do I not recall anything about him, other than he’s British? Good thing he’s not asking me, “Remember me now?†Because the answer would be no. Aaron tells us that his plan for the fight is to keep it standing. We then get to – or is it have to? – enjoy a kumbaya moment between the fighters, who express a desire to continue training together after the show. Hey, sounds great – I mean, why let that whole Atlantic Ocean thing get in the way?
As the teams walk in for this week’s weigh-in, we see that Koscheck and Brad Tate are still playing a glorified game of grab-ass, with Brad exclaiming, “You can see my balls on camera.†Well, Koscheck did call him “ballsy†earlier in the episode. As everyone sits down, the two continue to banter, with Team Koscheck hothead Sevak Magakian accusing Brad of being, um, a little inadequate behind the cup. Because if there’s anything more macho than someone pantsing another grown man, it’s a spectator commenting on what he saw. Brad mocks his Armenian accent, then mocks Koscheck for his previous loss to GSP. Koscheck stands up and grabs Brad by the throat, and the two get into a pull-apart as we head to break.
When we come back, we see that the altercation doesn’t yield any punches, though Dane does get to see that action he’d hoped for at the start of tonight’s show, engaging in the scrum in a mutual pie-facing with Koscheck. Afterward, Koscheck suggests that Brad was a ringer brought onto the show by GSP in an effort to “try and make me look bad.†Yeah, because bullying rookie lightweights and a so-called male nurse makes you look like a saint. As the chaos dies down, Dane runs out of the gym, and is discovered pouting in the locker room. As Dane fights back the tears, Koscheck explains to him how the incident happened, which Dane takes as an apology. Somebody in this room sure is sorry, but it isn’t Koscheck.
Back to the task at hand, we see that both of tonight’s fighters are on weight. Dana offers his prediction for the bout, saying that Aaron will “want to keep this on his feet, keep it standing, he’s going to try to use his hands.†Hey, great analysis – only Dana would find three different ways to phrase the exact same idea. This is almost as impressive as predicting Aaron’s strategy, despite Aaron having directly said it himself earlier tonight. As the teams leave the gym, Koscheck offers a handshake to Brad, who refuses it.
In the Team GSP locker room, fighters are asked to come up individually and, while everyone else turns their back, write down which of their teammates they would like to fight, since there are more Team GSP fighters moving into the quarterfinals. We see that Michael and Alex have named each other, meaning the possibility of an actual grudge match in the next round. Then again, considering how boring previous seasons’ grudge matches have turned out (Koscheck-Chris Leben, Junie Browning-Efrain Escudero), should we bother getting excited?
Back at the house, the no-phone rules are loosened for Aaron, who is notified that his grandmother has passed away but is encouraged to stay on the show and not come home. Aaron mourns in private, saying he is “not gonna go around telling everyone in the world about it.†Which would be a good strategy, if there weren’t cameras documenting the news for a global audience. Aaron says he knows his Nana is looking down on him, just as an overhead camera gives us a view of Aaron lying down in the cage. What is this, Nana Cam?
It’s fight day, and we learn that Koscheck will not be cornering either fighter. He does visit with both guys prior to the bout, though, and reminds them that they are getting a rare opportunity for a second chance. Marc seems to realize this, echoing the sentiment by saying that “most of the time in life, you don’t get second chances,†but then immediately contradicts himself by saying that “you can always come back and try to prove yourself again.†Koscheck may not be in his corner, but his way with words is definitely in Marc’s head.
The action gets under way, and before even a single punch is thrown, Marc has already lasted longer than he did in his last outing. He bravely goes for a shot and, in a déjà vu moment, ends up momentarily in a guillotine before settling into side control. He then advances to mount before taking Aaron’s back, where he stays until losing position while attempting an armbar. Aaron takes top position, stacking Marc against the fence but held immobile until the round ends.
Round 2 begins with Marc looking a little sluggish, though he drives forward with another single-leg when he catches a kick. Aaron pulls him right into a guillotine, and once again Marc falls victim to a choke. He taps, and Aaron is moving on to the quarterfinals. To the surprise of absolutely no one, a self-deprecating Marc says that, “apparently, I need to work on my guillotine defense.†Aaron reiterates his disappointment at having to have fought a friend and teammate, but has moved on to the next round.
Speaking of the next round, Koscheck and GSP meet with Dana at the end of tonight’s episode to make the matchups for the quarterfinals. Though GSP is advocating the Alex-Michael bout that both guys seem to want, Dana and Koscheck veto the idea. GSP then starts discussing other possible matchups, in the process disclosing to Koscheck what his guys’ strengths and weaknesses are. Koscheck can’t believe GSP’s cluelessness in giving up this information, saying that the welterweight champ is “very easily to trick.†Yeah, OK. Your grammar teacher must have also been very easily to trick, Josh, considering that you got him/her to believe that you had proficient-enough English-language skills to warrant graduation.
Despite getting up to leave the room after getting the coaches’ thoughts, Dana decides to immediately sit back down and hammer out the matchups. His persistence pays off, and within minutes we learn that, in the next round, the matchups will be Jonathan Brookins vs. Sako Chivitchian; Cody McKenzie vs. Nam Phan; Kyle Watkins vs. Aaron; and Alex vs. Michael. Big surprise, they’re holding that one for last. Koscheck is unhappy with the Alex-Michael matchup, suggesting that Dana made the fight as a favor to GSP because “he’s gotta have this image, he’s a pretty guy.†Yeah, that’s probably why he did it – GSP’s looks are definitely relevant. The episode ends with a silent faceoff between Alex and Michael…and, of course, Dana.
Random thoughts:
Why does this show always make it look like MMA fighters who seek relief from injuries are somehow mentally weak?
What did world-champion Cleopas Ncube have to gain by trash-talking Michael, an unseasoned fighter?
Why did the blonde-wigged striking dummy look more like an ’80s hair-metal singer and less like Koscheck?
When Koscheck banged on the Team GSP door after Brad closed it, were you surprised it didn’t crumble, like pretty much every other door in this show’s history?
Was I the only one who felt kind of creeped out by Aaron staring at the camera while he walked on the treadmill?
Although I wrestled for four years in high school and spent my fair share of time in the sauna, why do I still not get why we always see fighters in the sauna with a bottle of water nearby?
I mean, I guess it could be used to pour over hot coals, but aren’t most saunas now electric?
Did anyone really find Aaron so hard to understand that he required subtitles?
At the weigh-in, why is the scale set at 155, when there is a 1-pound allowance?
Why are the Team Koscheck bleachers twice the length of Team GSP’s?
I’m not sure if it was a national ad, but did I really see a commercial for a dating site called CougarLife.com?
And, why did most of the women in the ad look like they were under 40?
During the incident at the weigh-in, why did Dane try to say he “was trying to help†Koscheck, when the video showed him grabbing at the coach’s face and neck?
How funny was it to see GSP sitting totally calmly through the whole thing, even in the midst of the chaos?
Did Koscheck seriously think GSP brought in Brad to get under his skin, considering most of the footage we’ve seen of their altercations shows Koscheck as the instigator?
Then again, if Brad is just a medic, why would he need to be present at the weigh-in?
Was Dane seriously crying because Koscheck pie-faced him?
When Team GSP’s guys were writing down whom they’d like to fight, did you notice that Alex put the period in “Mike J.†before the letter J?
Why did GSP tell his guys he could make a fight between two guys who wanted each other, when Koscheck and Dana were also going to be involved in the process?
Did you notice that, when Aaron was crying in the bathroom, the TUF camera operator captured the drama from behind a plant, as if he was shooting Wild Kingdom?
Prior to the fight, why was Koscheck making it sound like second chances are totally rare, when this season has been built about the second chance he’s getting against GSP?
Did you hear someone yell “4 minutes to go, Marc,†when the clock actually said that 3:15 remained?
Considering his history of standing up a boring fight, were you surprised referee Herb Dean allowed Aaron and Marc to stay stalemated for the second half of the first round?
How weird was it to hear basically no crowd or coaching noise at all for several minutes?
And, when Nam Phan yelled instructions nonstop for pretty much the entire final 2 minutes of round 1, did you find yourself suddenly missing that silence?
After being caught with a guillotine in his previous fight, didn’t Marc’s coaches work with him on avoiding that maneuver?
When Koscheck criticized GSP for being easily fooled, had he forgotten about being outsmarted himself during team selection, when he chose Marc over Michael?
Other than trying to play up the show’s drama and conflict, why would Koscheck really be that upset by the Alex-Michael fight?
Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.
