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It almost seems predetermined – anytime some space-case whacko appears as a contestant on The Ultimate Fighter, he always defeats both conventional wisdom and a slew of rugged opponents. Tonight, the universe-loving Jonathan Brookins will look to follow in the footsteps of Diego Sanchez and Luke Cummo, aligning his chi with the galaxy and earning a spot in the finals. Three other fighters will compete tonight as well, hoping to be awarded a six-figure UFC account.
We begin tonight’s “two-hour event” with Team GSP headed to the gym. Among the passengers is semi-finalist Kyle Watson, who is sporting an ill-advised handlebar moustache that unfortunately recollects Triple H. Coach Georges St-Pierre rallies his troops once they arrive…by telling them to forget the whole “team” concept and focus on individual accomplishments instead. Well, it’s about time someone on this show finally dropped the charade.
GSP vows to keep Kyle and Jonathan apart during training, since they will be competing against one another in tonight’s first semifinal bout. Kyle tells us a little about himself, including his work with Matt Hughes back home and how he got started in MMA. Gee, nice of the show’s producers to wait until episode 11 for that. He lets us know that, like many contestants before him, he gave up everything in order to compete on the show, then adds that his sacrifices also included his dogs and a girlfriend. Kyle then discusses his forthcoming fight, acknowledging Jonathan’s skills but believing he is more technical on the feet. Wait, I thought he said he worked with Matt Hughes.
Team Koscheck soon arrives and commences its workout, which you’d figure would involve everyone helping Nam Phan prepare for his semi-final fight against Team GSP’s Michael Johnson. Instead, we see that Koscheck has gone all Ken Shamrock lately, not bothering to structure any sort of workout for this team and pretty much abandoning any pretense of caring about their development as fighters. As footage shows Koscheck messing around with other coaches and not helping anyone on his team, his fighters are complaining about how little they have learned during their time in the house. Well, almost everyone – Sako Kavitchian says he has learned some things from Koscheck, then concludes his point with a backhanded compliment by saying he had actually “expected less.”
Later, Koscheck himself shows up at the house, where long-eliminated Marc Stevens is in the midst of imitating his coach. Though his material isn’t too funny, the fact that everyone in the room allows him to sink by not telling him Koscheck had arrived was hilarious. Despite being openly mocked by them, Koscheck invites his guys to drink shots with him, and while at the house tries to figure out why his team is so disgruntled and Team GSP seems in such good spirits. Defensive about having his guys appear unappreciative, he believes the source of his fighters’ misfortunes lies in the mirror, saying they should look to blame themselves, and not their coaches, for their losses this season. Koscheck then calls his guys “young pups” and says that “you’ll learn one day,” apparently agreeing with their claims that any learning they do will come in the future, not now.
We then check in with Jonathan, who has isolated himself next to a huge tree in the backyard and laments people constantly wanting to come over and talk to him. Instead, he wants to just be left alone, an attitude he also carries in his daily life. Jonathan says he realizes people might find him weird, but at least they respect him. Sure about that? Jonathan then puts himself over, praising his own work ethic and saying that he hopes people will remember him once the season ends. Hmmm…I thought you wanted to be left alone. He then talks about fighting Kyle, summarizing his feelings by saying: “Man, I love the dude, man. Kyle, man, he’s awesome, man.”
Back at the house, several Team Koscheck members are tired of Nam, who they say isn’t so awesome, man. Instead, some of the guys accuse Nam of being two-faced, a sentiment shared by Team GSP fighters as well. Jonathan says Nam has isolated himself on “Team Nam,” and still more guys actually call him out on being shady during a game of pool in the house. Nam fears that “some of the guys on my team might actually dislike me.” Well, you are your coach’s pupil. Interestingly, Marc is one of the guys calling him out for saying things behind people’s backs, apparently having forgotten his own mockery of Koscheck when he didn’t think his coach was watching.
Both guys have made weight, and after hearing indecisive predictions from several people from both teams, it’s fight day. Kyle isn’t afraid to make a prediction, though, and forecasts that “we’re going to be trying to punch, kick, choke each other.” Wow, that’s pretty bold – but what will you do if your prediction doesn’t come true? Jonathan comes out, and we see that the uber-annoying tandem of Alex “Bruce Leroy” Caceres and Nam will be his cornermen, all but ensuring Jonathan’s status as heel for the fight.
The action gets under way, and for about the first minute they engage in a standup exchange, with Kyle getting the better of things. Jonathan takes him down, but is unable to hold him. Back on their feet, Kyle and Jonathan have another short exchange before Jonathan shoots a single and takes him down again. The remainder of the round sees Jonathan working from Kyle’s guard, doing pretty much nothing until the final 30 seconds, when Jonathan begins landing some solid punches and elbows.
Round 2 starts the same way its predecessor went, with Jonathan scoring a takedown. He controls from various positions on top for the entire round, landing the occasional sharp elbow but failing to really cause any significant damage. Kyle appears very tired, but with 10 seconds left finally finds the energy to stand up and escape. Why didn’t you try that 3 minutes ago?
After standing with Kyle for the first minute of round 3, Jonathan takes Kyle down again and keeps him pressed against the cage until he is able to stand…only to be taken down yet again. Jonathan tries working from guard for the remainder of the round, once again pretty much just holding Kyle in place. The horn sounds, and Jonathan wins the evening’s first trip to the finals. Afterward, UFC president Dana White praises him, saying he has never seen anyone as talented, yet respectful and humble, as Jonathan. Um, you do know who his coach is, right, Dana?
The second half of our double-header episode starts with several Team Koscheck guys sitting in the house, gossiping about Nam. And they think he’s the only one talking behind other people’s backs? Someone says that Nam frequently spends up to an hour in the shower, and suggests at least some of this time is spent pleasuring himself. Naturally, then, they all decide to sneak up and walk in on him. Sure enough, they appear to catch him in the act, and pour out of the bathroom giggling hysterically. Wow, six weeks really is a long time, isn’t it? Nam says his teammates are jealous of his success on the show, and says that “I’d rather be me than any of those guys any day of the week.” Or did he say, “I’d rather beat meat than any of those guys any day of the week….”
We head back to the gym, where Team GSP is getting Michael ready for tonight’s other semi-final bout. GSP says that Michael is the most athletic guy on the team, and thinks Nam won’t be able to handle his quick, seamless transition from standup to the ground. Michael says he is blessed to be in the position he’s in, and expects to advance to the finals.
At the house, Team Koscheck is still giddy about catching Nam in the shower. For some reason, he asks Sevak Majikian what he saw; Sevak responds with the horribly unsmooth “I see the weenie in your hand, you were moving it around.” Nam tries to claim he was simply washing his private area, but no one is buying it. Nam stresses the importance of staying mentally strong in the house to get through moments like this, telling us he sometimes needs to “double up on the Zen.” Huh? I’ve now decided to root for Michael tonight, just because the thought of hearing Nam and Jonathan exchanging new-age promos leading into the finals is a little unnerving. Nam says that his teammates are trying to get under his skin. Maybe he should rethink his choice of words.
A van pulls up outside the gym, and Nam emerges alone, saying he spent the morning training by himself. Wow, he sure does like to do things by himself, doesn’t he? Sorry, I’ll stop. He then explains to us how this experience has made him stronger, and adds that “you need to have a thick skin to hang out with these guys.” Must…resist…easy…joke….
Nam discusses tonight’s opponent, and believes he is a more complete fighter than Michael is. For instance, Nam describes himself as a boxer, and says Michael is a “street ghetto brawler.” Nam then compares himself to a Honda Civic, saying something about being fuel efficient and how a longer fight falls in his favor, conditioning-wise.
It’s weigh-in time, which means Dana will offer his (usually inaccurate) predictions. Tonight he says that Johnson will try to stand up with Nam. Maybe they should fight in the shower, since I heard johnsons often stand up with Nam in that room. Sorry, I said I’d stop. Dana then says that Nam “has great hands.” Come on, this isn’t fair. Anyway, both guys make weight, and we’re ready to go to the cage…right after Dana randomly brings Boston Celtics center Glen Davis into the Team GSP locker room.
The fight starts, and within seconds Michael has earned his first takedown. Nam puts up a fight, though, and Michael returns to his feet, backing up and letting Nam stand as well. Michael takes him right back down, though, then lets him up again. From here the standup becomes more competitive, as Nam blocks a couple of takedown attempts and starts to throw kicks. But as the round progresses past the halfway point, Michael really starts to unload, landing some big shots and opening up a cut under Nam’s left eye. The round ends with Michael beginning to look slightly fatigued but still in control.
Round 2 starts as a competitive striking match, until Michael – despite controlling the striking battle – inexplicably goes for a takedown, which goes wrong and results in Nam taking top position and raining down some heavy shots. Michael gets out fairly quickly, but is noticeably more tired than he’d been just moments earlier. Still, the rest of the round is a decent slugfest that sees Michael putting on pressure at the end.
The third starts with a continued striking battle, but goes to the ground after Michael shoots a single. Nam gets back to his feet, though, only to later be taken down and let up again. The remainder of the round looks to be a case of both fighters trying to look busy, but actually not really doing much of anything due to fatigue. Michael probably got the better end of the striking. Sure enough, Michael walks away with a split-decision victory and the chance to fight in the finals this weekend.
Afterward, Michael feels validated, having dealt all his life with people in his hometown saying he wasn’t good enough to succeed. Nam, meanwhile, is frustrated with the outcome, as is Koscheck, who describes Nam as his “lone woof” and says, “My heart goes out to little Nam.” GSP is proud of Michael, and says both of his finale-bound fighters deserve all of the credit for their success.
Random thoughts:
Why does this weekend’s Ultimate Finale boast a main event featuring Igor Pokrajac, a fighter that casual fans have probably never even heard of?
Did you remember that tonight’s two-part episode started an hour early, or did you end up missing the first half?
Why do the opening credits start with a graphic saying “14 Mixed Martial Arts Fighters,” and end with one saying “2 Lightweights”?
Given his nearly unlistenable monotone interviews and presumed inability to sell a fight, is anyone in UFC management hoping Kyle wins the show and joins the main roster?
During practice, why did Dane Sayers tell Kyle he needed 15 minutes to make the finals, when he could potentially finish the fight long before then?
Why was Marc Stevens mocking Koscheck, considering the coach made him a top pick and lobbied for him to be included in the wildcard bout?
After living in the TUFhouse with people like Chris Leben during season 1, who would know better than Koscheck that “alcohol can make people do funny things”?
Did you see how reluctant the Team Koscheck guys were to drink with their coach, when he invited them to join him for shots?
Why did Koscheck accuse his guys of blaming him for their losses, when in their post-fight interviews everyone pretty much took responsibility for their own losses?
When you saw Alex sketching a large-busted woman in the backyard, wasn’t it pretty clear than six weeks is a long time to go without any female contact?
Given his hippie dialect and attitude, did anyone else think that the tie-dyed boxer shorts Kyle wore to the weigh-in would have been better for Jonathan?
Why did the weigh-in segment end with some unseen person saying “good job, guys,” considering they didn’t even do anything praiseworthy?
As soon as you saw Marc and Michael in Kyle’s corner, did you start worrying that you were in store for 15 minutes of lay-n-pray?
And how ironic was it that Jonathan was the one who ended up doing that?
At the start of the fight, did you notice Koscheck in the background, sending a text message, in the process totally validating what Marc had said about him earlier?
Was anyone else surprised that referee Steve Mazzagatti didn’t ever threaten to stand Kyle and Jonathan up, considering that pretty much nothing was happening on the ground?
During his confessional interview to kick off hour 2, was Michael wearing the same hat that Jonathan had been wearing all night?
How did a giggly Team Koscheck avoid the temptation to ask what would happen when Nam got his hands on Johnson tonight?
Short of showing how well-connected Dana is, were there any reasons to show Glen Davis prior to the bout?
Watching them go toe to toe and seeing their size difference, wasn’t it hard to believe that Michael and Nam fight in the same weight class?
What was with all the closeups of Dana during Michael-Nam, shouting encouragement to the fighters?
How obvious was Koscheck at the end of the fight, trying to make sure the judges heard his belief that Michael didn’t do any damage during the final round?
And considering this strategy was the key to Koscheck’s success during Season 1, isn’t it funny how things sometimes come full circle?
Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.
It almost seems predetermined – anytime some space-case whacko appears as a contestant on The Ultimate Fighter, he always defeats both conventional wisdom and a slew of rugged opponents. Tonight, the universe-loving Jonathan Brookins will look to follow in the footsteps of Diego Sanchez and Luke Cummo, aligning his chi with the galaxy and earning a spot in the finals. Three other fighters will compete tonight as well, hoping to be awarded a six-figure UFC account.
We begin tonight’s “two-hour event” with Team GSP headed to the gym. Among the passengers is semi-finalist Kyle Watson, who is sporting an ill-advised handlebar moustache that unfortunately recollects Triple H. Coach Georges St-Pierre rallies his troops once they arrive…by telling them to forget the whole “team” concept and focus on individual accomplishments instead. Well, it’s about time someone on this show finally dropped the charade.
GSP vows to keep Kyle and Jonathan apart during training, since they will be competing against one another in tonight’s first semifinal bout. Kyle tells us a little about himself, including his work with Matt Hughes back home and how he got started in MMA. Gee, nice of the show’s producers to wait until episode 11 for that. He lets us know that, like many contestants before him, he gave up everything in order to compete on the show, then adds that his sacrifices also included his dogs and a girlfriend. Kyle then discusses his forthcoming fight, acknowledging Jonathan’s skills but believing he is more technical on the feet. Wait, I thought he said he worked with Matt Hughes.
Team Koscheck soon arrives and commences its workout, which you’d figure would involve everyone helping Nam Phan prepare for his semi-final fight against Team GSP’s Michael Johnson. Instead, we see that Koscheck has gone all Ken Shamrock lately, not bothering to structure any sort of workout for this team and pretty much abandoning any pretense of caring about their development as fighters. As footage shows Koscheck messing around with other coaches and not helping anyone on his team, his fighters are complaining about how little they have learned during their time in the house. Well, almost everyone – Sako Kavitchian says he has learned some things from Koscheck, then concludes his point with a backhanded compliment by saying he had actually “expected less.”
Later, Koscheck himself shows up at the house, where long-eliminated Marc Stevens is in the midst of imitating his coach. Though his material isn’t too funny, the fact that everyone in the room allows him to sink by not telling him Koscheck had arrived was hilarious. Despite being openly mocked by them, Koscheck invites his guys to drink shots with him, and while at the house tries to figure out why his team is so disgruntled and Team GSP seems in such good spirits. Defensive about having his guys appear unappreciative, he believes the source of his fighters’ misfortunes lies in the mirror, saying they should look to blame themselves, and not their coaches, for their losses this season. Koscheck then calls his guys “young pups” and says that “you’ll learn one day,” apparently agreeing with their claims that any learning they do will come in the future, not now.
We then check in with Jonathan, who has isolated himself next to a huge tree in the backyard and laments people constantly wanting to come over and talk to him. Instead, he wants to just be left alone, an attitude he also carries in his daily life. Jonathan says he realizes people might find him weird, but at least they respect him. Sure about that? Jonathan then puts himself over, praising his own work ethic and saying that he hopes people will remember him once the season ends. Hmmm…I thought you wanted to be left alone. He then talks about fighting Kyle, summarizing his feelings by saying: “Man, I love the dude, man. Kyle, man, he’s awesome, man.”
Back at the house, several Team Koscheck members are tired of Nam, who they say isn’t so awesome, man. Instead, some of the guys accuse Nam of being two-faced, a sentiment shared by Team GSP fighters as well. Jonathan says Nam has isolated himself on “Team Nam,” and still more guys actually call him out on being shady during a game of pool in the house. Nam fears that “some of the guys on my team might actually dislike me.” Well, you are your coach’s pupil. Interestingly, Marc is one of the guys calling him out for saying things behind people’s backs, apparently having forgotten his own mockery of Koscheck when he didn’t think his coach was watching.
Both guys have made weight, and after hearing indecisive predictions from several people from both teams, it’s fight day. Kyle isn’t afraid to make a prediction, though, and forecasts that “we’re going to be trying to punch, kick, choke each other.” Wow, that’s pretty bold – but what will you do if your prediction doesn’t come true? Jonathan comes out, and we see that the uber-annoying tandem of Alex “Bruce Leroy” Caceres and Nam will be his cornermen, all but ensuring Jonathan’s status as heel for the fight.
The action gets under way, and for about the first minute they engage in a standup exchange, with Kyle getting the better of things. Jonathan takes him down, but is unable to hold him. Back on their feet, Kyle and Jonathan have another short exchange before Jonathan shoots a single and takes him down again. The remainder of the round sees Jonathan working from Kyle’s guard, doing pretty much nothing until the final 30 seconds, when Jonathan begins landing some solid punches and elbows.
Round 2 starts the same way its predecessor went, with Jonathan scoring a takedown. He controls from various positions on top for the entire round, landing the occasional sharp elbow but failing to really cause any significant damage. Kyle appears very tired, but with 10 seconds left finally finds the energy to stand up and escape. Why didn’t you try that 3 minutes ago?
After standing with Kyle for the first minute of round 3, Jonathan takes Kyle down again and keeps him pressed against the cage until he is able to stand…only to be taken down yet again. Jonathan tries working from guard for the remainder of the round, once again pretty much just holding Kyle in place. The horn sounds, and Jonathan wins the evening’s first trip to the finals. Afterward, UFC president Dana White praises him, saying he has never seen anyone as talented, yet respectful and humble, as Jonathan. Um, you do know who his coach is, right, Dana?
The second half of our double-header episode starts with several Team Koscheck guys sitting in the house, gossiping about Nam. And they think he’s the only one talking behind other people’s backs? Someone says that Nam frequently spends up to an hour in the shower, and suggests at least some of this time is spent pleasuring himself. Naturally, then, they all decide to sneak up and walk in on him. Sure enough, they appear to catch him in the act, and pour out of the bathroom giggling hysterically. Wow, six weeks really is a long time, isn’t it? Nam says his teammates are jealous of his success on the show, and says that “I’d rather be me than any of those guys any day of the week.” Or did he say, “I’d rather beat meat than any of those guys any day of the week….”
We head back to the gym, where Team GSP is getting Michael ready for tonight’s other semi-final bout. GSP says that Michael is the most athletic guy on the team, and thinks Nam won’t be able to handle his quick, seamless transition from standup to the ground. Michael says he is blessed to be in the position he’s in, and expects to advance to the finals.
At the house, Team Koscheck is still giddy about catching Nam in the shower. For some reason, he asks Sevak Majikian what he saw; Sevak responds with the horribly unsmooth “I see the weenie in your hand, you were moving it around.” Nam tries to claim he was simply washing his private area, but no one is buying it. Nam stresses the importance of staying mentally strong in the house to get through moments like this, telling us he sometimes needs to “double up on the Zen.” Huh? I’ve now decided to root for Michael tonight, just because the thought of hearing Nam and Jonathan exchanging new-age promos leading into the finals is a little unnerving. Nam says that his teammates are trying to get under his skin. Maybe he should rethink his choice of words.
A van pulls up outside the gym, and Nam emerges alone, saying he spent the morning training by himself. Wow, he sure does like to do things by himself, doesn’t he? Sorry, I’ll stop. He then explains to us how this experience has made him stronger, and adds that “you need to have a thick skin to hang out with these guys.” Must…resist…easy…joke….
Nam discusses tonight’s opponent, and believes he is a more complete fighter than Michael is. For instance, Nam describes himself as a boxer, and says Michael is a “street ghetto brawler.” Nam then compares himself to a Honda Civic, saying something about being fuel efficient and how a longer fight falls in his favor, conditioning-wise.
It’s weigh-in time, which means Dana will offer his (usually inaccurate) predictions. Tonight he says that Johnson will try to stand up with Nam. Maybe they should fight in the shower, since I heard johnsons often stand up with Nam in that room. Sorry, I said I’d stop. Dana then says that Nam “has great hands.” Come on, this isn’t fair. Anyway, both guys make weight, and we’re ready to go to the cage…right after Dana randomly brings Boston Celtics center Glen Davis into the Team GSP locker room.
The fight starts, and within seconds Michael has earned his first takedown. Nam puts up a fight, though, and Michael returns to his feet, backing up and letting Nam stand as well. Michael takes him right back down, though, then lets him up again. From here the standup becomes more competitive, as Nam blocks a couple of takedown attempts and starts to throw kicks. But as the round progresses past the halfway point, Michael really starts to unload, landing some big shots and opening up a cut under Nam’s left eye. The round ends with Michael beginning to look slightly fatigued but still in control.
Round 2 starts as a competitive striking match, until Michael – despite controlling the striking battle – inexplicably goes for a takedown, which goes wrong and results in Nam taking top position and raining down some heavy shots. Michael gets out fairly quickly, but is noticeably more tired than he’d been just moments earlier. Still, the rest of the round is a decent slugfest that sees Michael putting on pressure at the end.
The third starts with a continued striking battle, but goes to the ground after Michael shoots a single. Nam gets back to his feet, though, only to later be taken down and let up again. The remainder of the round looks to be a case of both fighters trying to look busy, but actually not really doing much of anything due to fatigue. Michael probably got the better end of the striking. Sure enough, Michael walks away with a split-decision victory and the chance to fight in the finals this weekend.
Afterward, Michael feels validated, having dealt all his life with people in his hometown saying he wasn’t good enough to succeed. Nam, meanwhile, is frustrated with the outcome, as is Koscheck, who describes Nam as his “lone woof” and says, “My heart goes out to little Nam.” GSP is proud of Michael, and says both of his finale-bound fighters deserve all of the credit for their success.
Random thoughts:
Why does this weekend’s Ultimate Finale boast a main event featuring Igor Pokrajac, a fighter that casual fans have probably never even heard of?
Did you remember that tonight’s two-part episode started an hour early, or did you end up missing the first half?
Why do the opening credits start with a graphic saying “14 Mixed Martial Arts Fighters,” and end with one saying “2 Lightweights”?
Given his nearly unlistenable monotone interviews and presumed inability to sell a fight, is anyone in UFC management hoping Kyle wins the show and joins the main roster?
During practice, why did Dane Sayers tell Kyle he needed 15 minutes to make the finals, when he could potentially finish the fight long before then?
Why was Marc Stevens mocking Koscheck, considering the coach made him a top pick and lobbied for him to be included in the wildcard bout?
After living in the TUFhouse with people like Chris Leben during season 1, who would know better than Koscheck that “alcohol can make people do funny things”?
Did you see how reluctant the Team Koscheck guys were to drink with their coach, when he invited them to join him for shots?
Why did Koscheck accuse his guys of blaming him for their losses, when in their post-fight interviews everyone pretty much took responsibility for their own losses?
When you saw Alex sketching a large-busted woman in the backyard, wasn’t it pretty clear than six weeks is a long time to go without any female contact?
Given his hippie dialect and attitude, did anyone else think that the tie-dyed boxer shorts Kyle wore to the weigh-in would have been better for Jonathan?
Why did the weigh-in segment end with some unseen person saying “good job, guys,” considering they didn’t even do anything praiseworthy?
As soon as you saw Marc and Michael in Kyle’s corner, did you start worrying that you were in store for 15 minutes of lay-n-pray?
And how ironic was it that Jonathan was the one who ended up doing that?
At the start of the fight, did you notice Koscheck in the background, sending a text message, in the process totally validating what Marc had said about him earlier?
Was anyone else surprised that referee Steve Mazzagatti didn’t ever threaten to stand Kyle and Jonathan up, considering that pretty much nothing was happening on the ground?
During his confessional interview to kick off hour 2, was Michael wearing the same hat that Jonathan had been wearing all night?
How did a giggly Team Koscheck avoid the temptation to ask what would happen when Nam got his hands on Johnson tonight?
Short of showing how well-connected Dana is, were there any reasons to show Glen Davis prior to the bout?
Watching them go toe to toe and seeing their size difference, wasn’t it hard to believe that Michael and Nam fight in the same weight class?
What was with all the closeups of Dana during Michael-Nam, shouting encouragement to the fighters?
How obvious was Koscheck at the end of the fight, trying to make sure the judges heard his belief that Michael didn’t do any damage during the final round?
And considering this strategy was the key to Koscheck’s success during Season 1, isn’t it funny how things sometimes come full circle?
Mark Carpowich can be contacted at markcarpowich@hotmail.com.
