Yes, it’s true – the Wringer has returned for a limited-time engagement. I thought I would bring my own special brand of commentary to this year’s Road to WrestleMania. So let’s get Wringing!
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So Brodus Clay is still in the Raw opening, even weeks after his character has been missing from TV? Or is he on Smackdown? And if so, what’s he doing in the Raw opening?
So Cena’s Thuganomics character comes out all serious, then uses the “boobies” word?
Was that first match a match in only an academic sense, since it was interrupted by a commercial and an interview? And is it really an “interview” if the “reporter” only asks one question?
So hopefully, this insipid GM storyline comes to an end at WrestleMania?
Could Johnny Ace have laid down any more obviously in the Smackdown recap?
A dentist for each tooth? WTF?!
Couldn’t they bring back Doink the Clown as U.S. Champion, and it would still have more respect than it does currently with Santino as champ?
So Jennifer Hudson hasn’t made Otunga give up wrestling yet?
Couldn’t Mark Henry be wrestling someone by himself, and it still would be a handicapped match?
So Miz couldn’t think of more appropriate names for his “guns”? Like Smith and Wesson? Or Magnum and Colt (my favorite soap opera names)?
Wow, usually when a girl ignores you for a week, it means she’s not interested!
Why is Beth Phoenix in makeup and a dress?!
Wouldn’t someone who owned a Persian rug made out of real Persians be a) a cannibal, b) a terrorist, or c) really, really sick?
So Brodus is in the house! Someone tell him Huggy Bear called, and he wants his outfit back! And do they call him the Funkasaurus because that gimmick is a dinosaur?
Is a 46-year-old man coming out to “Sexy Boy” really a good idea? Hell, he was barely a “boy” when he debuted in WWF/E at the age of 26!
Did Taker’s new outfit look like an executioner’s outfit to anyone else?
And did WWE blur out “Sara” on Taker’s neck, or did he have it removed himself? Let’s hope for Michelle’s sake, it is the latter!
How odd was it for Shawn to do an interview with a guy without being able to look into his eyes?!
Was Shawn channeling Alanis Morrisette (and using even less irony than she did)?
Did Taker really say Mania was on April 21st? Really?
Did you hear that monster pop for James Roday?
Was that attidudinal of Cena’s really compensatory with his umbilicals? And yes, I’m channeling Norm Crosby!
Wow, is wanting to turn someone into an alcoholic really the way to go, even for a heel?
And why do that promo on the Titan Tron, and not in person?
Swagger loses to Santino Marella last week (losing the U.S. Title in the process), and now he’s taking on Orton?!
Did Randy actually start for the corner when Kane’s pyro hit?
So Christian will re-debut next week, with the Peep Show, only to put him in with the stupid GM storyline? What, they want every legitimate performer involved with this crud?
Isn’t it interesting how this week Cena came out all serious, and the Rock came out all smiling and playful?
Vanilla Ice + Teletubby = Japanese Anime-Looking Fake Rapper?
All the kids in the crowd must have had some interesting questions for mommy after Rock’s song, huh?
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An average show this week. Cena’s rap, Rock’s song and the Jericho promo were good, but more Zack/Eve silliness and the stupid GM stuff brought it back down for me. Add to that the fact that if he’s not going to be on Mania, why are we still being subjected to Brodus Clay? And then there’s the match that was interrupted not once but twice.
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