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AN OPEN LETTER TO VINCE MCMAHON

By Pastor J on 9/30/2015 9:34 AM

A letter to Vince McMahon

Let me start off by saying that I have not watched any WWE show on a regular basis since SummerSlam. There are several reasons for this.

The first is being the father to a 19 month old boy is a bit time consuming (and worth every minute!). The second reason is I have stopped caring about WWE. By that I mean, I have stopped caring about the storylines which insult my intelligence (yes, I do have some intelligence…at least that’s what I tell myself), and I have stopped caring about the wrestlers. Actually, I still care about the wrestlers as real people, but I have stopped caring about the wrestlers as “characters.” Somehow, someway, WWE Creative has made me not care what happens to the “characters.” This is something I am not proud to confess because I love the people who have made professional wrestling their job. You can say what you want about a certain wrestler’s attitude or “work rate,” but what these men and women do on a nightly basis (be it in WWE, ROH, or the Indies) is not an easy job.

But I can’t let this get too personal. From one fan’s perspective, WWE has gotten stale. Here are the Top 10 things that will get me to watch and care for WWE again.

1. Two’s company, three’s a crowd.

Find a way to move Raw back to two hours. Whether 8-10 or 9-11, three weekly hours is just not working. It has become a strain on the performers, the Creative team and the production team. While most network shows get a season off, these people are busting it 52 weeks a year and that takes a toll on everyone.

2. Smack Down and stay down.

Get rid of Smackdown. In all the years it has existed it has been the afterthought to Raw. Even when it was a separate brand there seemed to be a stigma attached to the show. Everyone wanted to be on the big show (and I don't mean the World’s Largest Athlete. That would be just wrong). And if the ratings keep sliding it may not be as impossible a decision.

3. Are we on Earth-Prime, Earth 1, or Earth 2? Or “Stop Calling Me Stupid” Or “If A Tree Falls Backstage, Does The Mark Hear It?”

That’s a shoutout to Mike Johnson (fellow DC fan). And my suggestion is one that is probably the biggest reason I don’t watch even the promos or backstage vignettes: Stop making the wrestlers look stupid! WWE needs to decide if its shows happen in the real world or in the “WWE Universe.” When something happens backstage, let’s say when Summer Rae snuck into Dolph’s locker room a few years back. Wait. That was a month ago?! Sure seems longer than that. Anyway, the point seem to be that Summer would get Dolph in trouble with Lana. Like Lana would think, “My gosh! My boyfriend is cheating on me!” But if this is the REAL WORLD (Earth Prime) then all Lana has to do is WATCH the (curse word of your choice)-ing show. Millions of people are watching what’s happening backstage and yet the wrestlers can’t seem to find a TV?

4. “What’s My Line?”

I know that some of the wrestlers need help with promos. Others can do a pretty good job when left to their own devices. WWE should concentrate on the ones who need help, and trust in the talent who can work the microphone.

5. “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

For the love of all that is holy, PLEASE stop with the 15-20 minute promos. Especially the ones that start off the show. I don’t mind starting the show with some talk, but the average attention span (and for some viewers it’s LIFEspan) is not going to care after 10 minutes. Oh and as a side note. Let Dean Ambrose talk! My goodness, he’s become the Teller to Roman’s Penn Gilette. WWE is missing out on this guy in a big way.

6. “I Dare You To Cross This Line. Ok. I Dare You To Cross THIS Line.”

Stop with the constant back and forth talking. Get to fighting. Get to making these people not like each other. Get to making the fans care about seeing the a-hole get his beating.

7. “The Authority Song” needs to stop playing.

Every time I see Triple H and Stephanie I feels like this storyline getting closer and closer to Paul Jones-Jimmy Valiant War territory. For non-NWA fans, that was a feud that lasted WAY too long (I believe over 2 years) and not once featured a championship (not even the beloved Western States Heritage Title!) but got to the point that no one cared who won. If you think about it, this feud with “The Boss” has been going on for almost TWENTY years!

When WWE did it back in the late 90’s it was fresh. The evil boss was getting what was coming to him. But in today’s television world, with approximately 400 shows to choose from, every show has the same type of boss and just about every new drama has a freaking conspiracy.

The idea of an “Evil Corporation” is boring and long-in-the-tooth. Let me amend that. It’s dead. Bury it, WWE, and move on. This is NOT Star Wars. You do not need one constant enemy. Especially when you know Stephanie or Triple H are not going to “get theirs” in the end.

8. “I Am Not A Champion! I Am A Human Being”

WWE needs to treat its champions from Seth on down with more respect. As Dave so often puts it, Seth is more a (certain nickname for a female cat) than a champion. And with that he has no steam behind him. People do not care about his wrestling ability. I know certainly don’t. And I know Seth can bust his hump, but he has to play this idiot. And WWE needs to stop jobbing out the title holders. They believe it is to create contenders. I say it makes the champions look weak to the point that no one is taken seriously when they win a championship. Championships have to matter again. The people wearing belts need to matter again.

9. “Which lasts longer? A wrestling match or the 15 second Geico ads?”

Please make the matches longer. I don’t mean 30 minutes long (although the occasional 30 minute championship match on Raw would be a nice treat). I mean somewhere like 15 minutes would work. Let these people do what they do best. Wrestle. Let the wrestling tell the story that WWE Creative is so desperate trying to tell.

10. “So Long. Fair Well. Auf Wiedersehen”

I am not a fan of telling people when to give up a job. I certainly would not like someone to say, “Hey, Pastor J. For a Pastor you make a good fry cook.” And I don’t want Vince gone as in forever. Vince McMahon has done a lot of wonderful and incredible things for the wrestling business. But he just doesn’t have the vision that will carry wrestling into the next century (which is already almost 20 years old). I just think it is time that someone else has the final say. Someone like Triple H and H’s handpicked Creative crew. At least let Triple H have a chance to see what he can do when he has the keys to the car. This is not a perfect list. There are a lot of flaws in it. But these are the suggestions that would make me watch again on a regular basis.

WWE would not have to do all 10, but at least TRY to do something before someone else (like NBC/Comcast) makes the decision for them.

Thanks for reading.

And let’s hope that the good stuff is just around the corner.