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By Adam Cardoza on 8/28/2021 11:59 AM

SlapFight Championship “Titans Clash”

8/27/21 - Undisclosed Location

Streaming Live on FITE.TV

You’ve seen it on YouTube, now it’s time to see it on FITE. After Announcer “The Space Cowboy” Jason Jones makes his entrance, we get the video package and get a rundown of tonight’s card. They talk about how slap fight as a sport has trouble getting regulated so they film from undisclosed locations (tonight seems to be a hotel of some sort) and use fun pseudonyms. JT Tilley is your commentator. The rules are simple: No clubbing. No stepping. No flinching. Well, ok, there’s more rules than THAT but those are the ones that will draw a penalty. Break any rule twice and you lose a slap.

Fight 1 - Superfan Showdown: Big Gulp vs Bayou Bastard

What a weird way to kick this off. As a superfan, Bastard was actually part of the last tournament, winning in one of the wildest penalty-heavy matches SlapFight had ever put on their YouTube. Bastard is a bit of a fan favorite now after that performance and the crowd is definitely behind him. Big Gulp wins the coin toss. 

Round 1: BG with a solid shot. BB cracks him LOUD and Big Gulp’s eyes are wide with shock. 

Round 2: BG with another solid shot but he’s swinging kind of slow. BB cracks him on point and solid again. Big Gulp is holding the back of his head as he stumblees to get his bearing. He wants to shake it off but chooses to resign instead.

Winner by Submission: Bayou Bastard. This was a MASSIVELY improved Bayou Bastard that we saw last time. 

Fight 2 - Lightweight Fight: Berzerk’d vs The Guardian

Berzerk’d is a specialist in a slap/palm strike based martial art called Shamuto. They show a video of Berzerk’d training with the coach and it’s a odd limp-wristed slapping style they’ve never seen before. I’m certainly curious how this will play out. Berzerk’d wins the coin toss.

Round 1: Berzerk’d with a short arm slap that absolutely STAGGERS Guardian. Guardian swings wide and hits hard, Berzerk’d flies backwards onto the floor. He staggers back up to the barrel. 

Round 2: Berzerk’d with another short shot but clubs Guardian and gets a warning. Guardian fires back with another hard shot that staggers Berzerk’d and sends his ear guard flying again. 

Round 3: Berzerk’d makes an unconventional move and does a backwards slap, hitting Guardian on the other cheek (technically NOT illegals because he is using the same hand as in previous round). Unfortunately, he also clubbed Guardian in the process and takes another penalty. Guardian is noticeable annoyed and swing hard, but picks up his first warning for stepping in to the slap. 

Round 4: Berzerk’d lost his slap from his penalty. Guardian swings too high and clubs Berzerk’d close to the eye, picking up a penalty in the process. This is getting to Bayou Bastard/Leadbelt levels of weird. YouTube is gonna love this one. 

Round 5: Berzerk’d hits a short shot but he seems to be losing his power. Guardian with a solid shot that turns Berzerk’ds’ head. 

Round 6: Berzerk’d ends up clubbing again. His style is not meshing well with the rules in play tonight. Guardian with another stiff slap and Berzerk’d has to step back to shake it off. 

Round 7: Berzerk’d loses another slap from the penalty. Guardian throws another bomb. Berzerk’d is bruised all around his face and eye. 

Round 8: Berzerk’d with a good shot across the chin but Guardian is eating these up. Guardian staggers him again with another hard slap.

Round 9: Berzerk’d hits but it looks like Guardian picks up a penalty for flinching. Guardian steps into the shot again and picks up another penalty for that. 

Round 10: Berzerk’d gets two shots. He connects but there isn’t much behind them past the sound. He NEEDED to hit hard here put Guardian down but couldn’t get it done. 

Winner by Decision: The Guardian. This was a test of Berzerk’ds style but it was not to be tonight. That said, these two went back and forth for 10 penalty filled rounds and won the respect of everyone.

Fight 3 - Heavyweight Fight: Crow vs Frank the Tank

Crow is bigger and taller than the reigning People’s Champion Frank, who has recently dropped from Super Heavyweight and debuting a leaner meaner frame. Let’s see how he fares tonight against the debuting Crow. Crow wins the coin toss.

Round 1: Crow has a long reach but he seems to swing from too far away and doesn’t connect too well with Frank. Let’s hope he learns quick. Frank measures his shot, winds up and KO’d Crow with a single slap. Crow flies back into the banner. WOW.

Winner by KO: Frank the Tank. Frank is very much back, baby. 

Fight 4 - Light Heavyweight Fight: Young James vs Coach Killa

Coach Killa is the current SlapFight Middleweight Champion, coming up to Light Heavyweight for this contest. Young James towers over him but the Coach DID go nine rounds with reigning Lt. Heavy champ Wolverine at this weight class previously so it’s not a total David/Goliath situation here. Young James wins the coin toss. 

Round 1: Solid strike from Young James but it looks like he hurt his ribs on the swing??? Coach back to the barrel while James walks it off. Coach winds up and cracks James LOUD but it gets absorbed.

Round 2: Decent slap from Young James, lessened power but the dude’s hands are massive. Coach measures and stuns YG with that shot. 

Round 3: James shakes Coach with his shot. Coach comes right up for his shot, comes fast. The slap might have been a LITTLE high but the ref doesn’t call it. James staggers a moment and holds his head. 

Round 4: Coach doesn’t like taking these shots but he eats another one. Coach connects with James’ chin but it looks like he pulls something in his forearm and he’s immediately nursing that limb. 

Round 5: YG back to the barrel and slaps Coach clean. He’s unnnnnhappy with his lot in life right now. Coach MOVES AIR with his slap and YG shakes it off. 

Round 6: YG with another solid shot, Coach is swelling a little. Coach swinging fast, going for the KO but only blasts the cotton out of YG’s ear. 

Round 7: YG hits hard and Coach takes a lap to shake it off. He’s in trouble. Coach swings even faster than before, loud crack and YG admits to the ref that e flinched a little there. 

Round 8: YG with another good shot and Coach is having to blink the lights back on in his head a little. YG is visible showing the rib injury again. Coach’s takes his shot, solid. Good sportsmanship in the last couple of rounds , with both guys fist bumping between rounds. 

Round 9: YG hits hard and Coach thinks the hit was high. Coach comes in and slap even faster than before and basically slaps YJ in the eye. OW. 

Round 10: YJ swings for his last time and Coach absolutely flinches here. Coach measures and swings hard. YJ eats this stiff shot. Both guys hug over the barrel as they’ve run out of rounds. This was a war and I have no idea who takes this one. 

Winner by Decision: Young James

Fight 5 - Super Heavyweight Championship Fight: Hardcore Hillbilly vs Solid Slug(c)

Hardcore Hillbilly is a deathmatch wrestler from Virginia going against the newly crowned Super Heavyweight Champion, Solid Slug, who took the belt with a tournament win during his debut with the promotion. Notably, Slug has Frank the Tank in his corner to give advice. Hillbilly wins the coin toss.

Round 1: HH swings. I swear I thought slug flinched here but the ref doesn’t call it. And he shouts to hype himself up after taking the hit. He winds up, and CONNECTS HARD. Another man might have dropped but HH no sells it. 

Round 2: HH swings and definitely clubs Slug. Warning. Slug brings him in for his penance. Slug swings and he BOTH steps and clubs HH in the slap. On top of that, he immediately starts favoring his shoulder after the hit. The champ might be in trouble here. 

Round 3: HH is taking his time to get back to the barrel. HH is swinging kind of weak and Slug absolutely flinched but the ref doesn’t call it again and HH hits mostly air. Slug hits hard but gets caught stepping AGAIN so he’s losing his next slap.

Round 4: HH gets this one for free! HH isn’t winding up great and his slap isn’t quite on point.

Round 5: HH swings again, a little faster but there’s no power to it. Slug swings and lands SOLID but HH is waking up with the pain. Slug is clearly still hurting from his shoulder. 

Round 6: HH swings again and the ref finally calls Slug out for flinching. Slug swings again and HH staggers but he’s seemingly okay….unlike Slug’s shoulder. 

Round 7: HH hits one of his best of the fight but it’s still not a great shot. HH nursing his hand and this could be trouble. Slug takes a big step and takes another penalty. Was that intentional??? This might be a battle of who falls apart first, rather than KO. 

Round 8: Slug and HH are jawing at the barrel coming in the round. HH swings but again, no real power but that hand is hurting. 

Round 9: A better shot from HH but Slug can take these all day. Slug’s power looks like it’s fading and his shoulder is clearly bothering him. It’s looking clear that Slug may be aging the rules a little to save wear on his shoulder and force HH to slap with his injured hand repeatedly. Dirty? SMART. 

Round 10: HH takes his time getting back to the barrel and lands a good shot. He is still hurting? Slug winds up and clubs HH….so he loses another round in this unlimited rounds matchup. This one may have been unintentional since it seems like his shoulder problem is starting to affect his aim. 

Round 11: Slug isn’t thrilled about taking two more slaps in a row. HH swings wild and mostly misses. 

Round 12: HH’s pre-slap aims look so nonchalant but he swings again and connects maybe 50%. It definitely seems like he doesn’t want to commit to a full contact slap….is his hand/wrist broken? Slug steps AGAIN (no penalty this time) and connects hard but he is noticeably holding that right shoulder after the slap. 

Round 13: HH is using his 60-second timer between rounds well. He winds up….and doesn’t slap? HH’s bell may be rung sometime in the previous 12 rounds as he seems to have lost count on the windup. He tries again and swings on 4. Good shot but I wonder if he’s all there right now. Slug wincing on the windup but strikes solid. HH ain’t quitting though. Frank the Tank helps Slug stretch the shoulder.

Round 14: HH steps up. Lands solid and he’s back to wincing about his hand. Slug lands really good in this round, HH stumbles back a moment but he’s not off balance. Someone has to break here, right?

Round 15: HH lands his best shot of the fight here but he may have cost himself the match and quickly clutches his wrist in pain after the hit. The ref immediately checks on him. Solid Slug shouts as the Ref throws up the X, signifying that Hardcore Hillbilly has withdrawn from the contest.

Winner (and still champion): Solid Slug. WOW. Like Young James/Coach Killa earlier, this was a war but even more of a battle of attrition and will. You knew both guys were hurt so it was a matter of WHO broke first. Slug definitely seemed like he took a couple of those penalties to game HH to overusing his hand, since Slug could take those shots without much trouble. This was good drama. Slug is going to have to rehab that shoulder after this though. Hardcore Hillbilly is a damn tomato can though, he can take a LOT of punishment. I suspect if he works on his slapping form, we’ll see him again down the road. 

Match 6 - Heavyweight Fight: Frank the Tank vs Baby Ray

We were supposed to have a Heavyweight Fight between Baby Ray & Italian Massacre (two newcomers) but IM was announced as unable to compete. Frank the Tank, having a easy night earlier, volunteers to step up to the barrel for a second fight tonight. Baby Ray is a Muay-Thai and MMA-fighter with bouts against Stephan Bonnar & Jason Chambers on his resume so lets see how Frank does against this more seasoned competiton. Standing at the barrel, Ray is much taller than Frank so he’s going to have to swing upwards to connect. Frank wins the coin toss.

Round 1: Frank with his perfect fast windup. Huge slap and Baby Ray looks ok…, he’s on the floor. His cornerman helps him back up and replaces the cotton in his ear. Ray winds up and connects solid with the lower of Frank’s chin. True to form, Frank takes a step back and immediately pushes the pace into the next round.

Round 2: Frank cracks him again, Ray stumbles back and almost knocks over the barrel with his head as he tries to get his footing. His cornerman, the ref AND Frank have to catch him. Ray is leaning hard on the barrel. After checking on him, the ref throws up the X due to a cut on Ray’s forehead during the collision with the barrel and rules the fight a TKO win for the tank.

Winner (by ref stoppage): Frank the Tank. This really has been the Frank the Tank show tonight. He’s definitely the People’s Champ of SlapFight. Baby Ray’s one slap was really good though but Frank as probably not the best first opponent here. Replay is showing that Ray was holding onto the barrel for that second shot and leaning in, as opposed to the more traditional form of keeping your hands behind your back so that could have contributed to the way he reacted and stumbled with Frank’s shot.

During the post-fight interview, Jason Jones remarks that Frank doesn’t have his SlapFight People’s Championship belt with him (since neither match tonight was for the title). Frank says it’s in the dressing room and female SlapFight competitor Tekka (who won a DOMINANT one-sided fight earlier in the year) brings out Frank’s belt on her shoulder for a good pose with the champ & hardware. Frank will be cornering Wolverine in our main event..which is NEXT.

Main Event - SlapFight Heavyweight Championship Fight: Darius the Destroyer(c) vs Wolverine 

Current SlapFight Lt. Heavyweight Champion Wolverine has only one blemish on his record, a contested split decision loss to the undisputed Heavyweight king, Darius the Destroyer at SF’s third event (which was also Wolverine’s FIRST slap fight). It’s worth noting that Darius is undefeated in SlapFight Championship since he snuck into their first event at 19 years old and won their Heavyweight Championship tournament. Both of these guys are monsters in their respective weight classes, with a ridiculous number of KO’s to their credit. Can the new & improved Wolverine be the one to finally bring down the Destroyer? 

They bring on Charlie, the Youtube personality who is probably best attributed for helping the sport of slap fighting go viral with his unique brand of commentary. On video, he talks about how he used to believe the Russian slap scene was dominant but the American side of things is starting to take over as the more entertaining offering. He gives the best line describing Wolverine as “a force of nature, if nature was fueled by Budweiser and pick-up trucks.” He also describes the slaps of Darius as like “seeing god”. Charlie is going to be giving commentary live on this main event fight. This one’s for the fans. Wolverine wins the coin toss. Let’s gooooooo! 

Round 1: Both guys looks super focused. Wolverine winds up. He’s using a technique on the wind-up I’ve never seen before, holding his wrist with a closed fist before uncorking the full slap….which cracks Darius across the jaw. The champ seems unfazed though, he nods in respect and steps up for his own. Darius hits hard and Wolverine has to take a step to get balance but he looks good. Darius draws a warning for clubbing on that. “He slapped the style out of Wolverine’s hair with that one”

Round 2: Wolverine uncorks another pan-hand to the face of Darius. This probably would have slain anyone at Lt. Heavy but the champ eats it. Darius doesn’t even flinch. He takes it. He steps back a moment though before setting up for the next swing. Wolverine takes that one solidly but he doesn’t look too happy feeling the power of the Destroyer again. 

Round 3: Wolverine with that unique wind up again and WHOA, DARIUS FLINCHES. Good connect but even Darius knows he moved away from it. “This proves Darius IS human”. Darius winds up and swings even harder but Wolverine absorbs the shot and pushes the pace to the next round.

Round 4: Wolverine with a traditional wind up and slaps hard. Darius cries out in pain with that one and this is a FIRST that I’ve seen. Darius is not thrilled and is shaking off the sensation. Darius is motivated to not take any more of those shots and blasts Wolverine back a few steps. I think Wolverine might be a little dazed there but he indicates he’s good. 

Round 5: Wolverine back to the odd windup and he delays the actual shot from the crowd count. It’s good but Darius might have his head together now. He throws up a thumbs up after that hit but he’s taking his time coming back to the barrel. Darius swings hard and maybe a little high. The side of Wolverine’s face is starting to match his red beard. 

Round 6: This new technique of Wolverine is something else. From the unique windup up to the supercharged delay of impact, he’s trying to get into Darius’ head here. The slap itself is good and Darius consults with his cornerman again, potentially letting the swelling on Wolverine’s face continuing to build. Darius returns and lands clean on the chin but Wolverine blinks and pushes right to the next slap.

Round 7: Wolverine with the traditional windup and slap and Darius is clearly feeling this one. He says he’s good but he’s taking a lap and hyping himself back up. Darius lands another shot right on the swollen cheek of Wolverine but the Lt Heavy champ brings Darius right back in to take his receipt. 

Round 8: Wolverine uncorks again and Darius staggers back a step and clears the cobwebs a little. He’s confident but this IS affecting him. Darius still taking his time to the next shot, definitely letting the swelling build. Darius is clearly surprised that we’re in Round 8 before blasting Wolverine again. Wolverine brings him back to the barrel fast for another shot.

Round 9: Wolverine slaps the cotton out of Darius’ ear again and the Destroyer has to nod in appreciation of the power he’s facing here. Darius using the time still. This is a battle of wills. Darius winds up and knocks the cotton out of Wolverine himself.

Round 10: Wolverine doesn’t take a break and lands solid. Darius nodding as he eats another shot. “The audience paid for the whole seat but they’re only getting the edge”.  Darius comes in with his shot from the bottom and ends up clubbing Wolverine. His second infraction, he should lose his slap in Round 11. Wolverine looks stunned by that one (and maybe got caught on the eye) but he’ll get some time to recover and maybe do some extra damage in return.

Round 11: Wolverine blinking and rubbing at his eye as he winds up. Odd delay shot and Darius eats it. Wolverine still looking a little hazy from that club shot last round. 

Round 12: Wolverine uncorks a LOUD shot that draws a great facial reaction from the referee. Darius chills in his corner for a moment again, looking unhurt physically. Darius with a huge shot, Wolverine staggers but comes right back in for more. 

Round 13: Wolverine lands another hard one and Darius FELT that one, holding his forehead a little as he heads back to the corner. Wolverine still wiping at that eye. Darius steps up, measures, Wolverine gobbles it up.

Round 14: Wolverine cracks loud again and Darius needs a second to process what just happened. He stretches and steps back to his resilient challenger. Darius slaps and it’s another club. Wolverine looks okay and gets to take two.

Round 15: Wolverine takes his first break of the fight leading to this round, conferring with Frank the Tank in his corner. He’s definitely hurting, having to clear the cobwebs as he returns to the barrel. Wolverine picks up his first clubbing violation with a slap that’s a bit too high. A rare misfire from the Lt. Heavy champ.

Round 16: Wolverine lands good and Darius is visibly wincing from this one and requires a moment to absorb and get to his corner. If SlapFight is a thing you love, this, we’re approaching uncharted record-setting territory and these two seem like they might easily clear it.  Darius chuckles as he takes his time coming back to the barrel to blast Wolverine with another stiff shot. 

Round 17: Wolverine right back to it. Big shot. Darius nodding with respect. The audience is cheering for these guys with each blow. Charlie calls it “an apocalyptic slap fight match”. Titans Clash indeed. Darius approaches…and he’s swinging from way back. Wolverine takes it and IMMEDIATELY gets into position for the next one. 

Round 18: Wolverine swings but Darius flinches again. It’s his second for this infraction so Wolverine is getting a re-do and another bonus slap out of the champ.

Round 19: Wolverine is looks like he’s on another planet as he winds up again. Wolverine with a traditional slap, it’s a little high but doesn’t draw a penalty. 

Round 20: Wolverine connects hard on the lower chin and Darius looks mad now. Darius doesn’t want a break and lands stiff. Wolverine winds up for the next one.

Round 21: This is it, the official longest fight in SlapFight Championship history. Wow. Wolverine blast him and Darius’ eye is staying close for a second but he;s right back to the fight. Wolverine feels this shot and wobbles a little but he wants to keep going.

Round 22: Wolverine blasts another good hit, Darius walks it off but comes back to the barrel quickly. Darius with almost of an uppercut that staggers him. 

Round 23: Wolverine fires straight across and Darius is in the zone but takes a moment to get the spring back into his step. He smiling as he steps back up. Another rising slap but Wolverine won’t drop…but he does need a moment to walk it off as his swelling increases. He’s spitting out some blood and holding his eye in the corner before coming back to it. 

Round 24: Wolverine with another hard shot but Darius just won’t drop. Wolverine is looking so groggy as he consults with Frank the Tank. A fist bump with Darius as he steps back up for another shot. Darius slaps the cotton out again. Wolverine might have lost a tooth? He’s wincing as he returns to unload another shot. 

Round 25: Wolverine is on point and Darius is wincing hard on that. Darius blasts another and Wolverine walks it off and is considering his options. He hydrates as the champ awaits his return. 

Round 26: Wolverine is so groggy. Someone might need to stop this. His shots are so on point still. The crowd is hushed as these two just won’t give up. They’re counting around the but the cheers have stopped. Wolverine looks Darius in the eyes and surveys his situation. Wolverine comes off the stage at the doctor’s instruction to get checked out. He tells the doctor that he can see out of his eye and asks to let this continue. Darius is trying to keep the adrenaline flowing, as his cheek is inflamed with bruising. Wolverine returns to the barrel, mouthpiece covered in blood. Holy hell, I knew this was gonna be a main event but this man will NOT quit. Darius steps up and knocks Wolverine back a step or two. Everyone looks concerned but that isn’t going to stop the Destroyer if Wolverine keeps coming back. 

Round 27: HUGE shot from Wolverine. Darius winces but is still good to go. Wolverine looks shocked that Darius absorbed it. The doctor has seen enough and won’t let Wolverine take another shot. We have a stoppage. 

Winner (and still champion): Darius the Destroyer. Mother of god, how did these two do this for almost 40 minutes straight? Wow. Just wow. Wolverine gave it everything he had but Darius is just a wall in flesh form. Tekka comes back out to present Darius with his championship belt. 

We get an interview with Wolverine after the fight. He’s clearly upset at the stoppage but he knows the doctor was trying to protect his eye, since Darius WAS beating him up through this epic war. He talks about this new double handed delay technique he used to try and keep Darius on his toes. Massive respect for the Light Heavyweight champ tonight. 

And that’s it for Titan’s Clash. Let’s get this out of the way: This was MILES better of an entertaining presentation than the PunchDown show I covered a few months ago. They kept the show flowing, kept the fights moving and having a crowd to react to everything made the energy of the show really pop here. Charlie is right, the American slap fight scene is definitely starting to outpace their European counterparts. This show clocked in at a little over 2 hours with 7 matches. Like MMA, Slapfighting can end quick but there were 4 absolute WARS on this cards, each one managing to outpace the drama of the previous one. I look forward to another one of these, and especially to what content makes it’s way to Youtube from this. Until then!