NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT
By Doug Brown on 1/14/2007 4:29 PM
It's 2007, and WWE is not off to a good start. Raw started with Kevin Federline beating the WWE Champion John Cena, Triple H blew out his quad again, and then there was the ridiculous Rosie vs. Donald match. ECW started with two mediocre shows, one of which was highlighted by a really lame non-finish to a world title match. The one saving grace has been Smackdown, which is the only one of the three brands to have a focus. For the good of the company, and because I've got way too much free on my hands, I came up with a list of resolutions to help them improve over the next eleven and a half months.
Reduce from three brands to two - I wish I could have been wrong about ECW, but it has gone exactly the way that I thought it would. Much like Diamond Dallas Page, Goldberg, Scott Steiner, and the New World Order, the WWE Creative Team put their own spin on it, and it is going down the tubes. It's pretty obvious that they do not care about the brand, and are no longer going out of their way to make it feel even remotely special. Their contract with Sci-Fi is scheduled to run out in December, and I'd be very surprised if it were renewed. With the injuries and people retiring, I think WWE would be better served dividing up the ECW stars they want to keep among the two existing rosters. To me it makes better sense to have two stronger rosters versus three paper thin rosters.
Cut out the lame skits - This past week's Raw spoke volumes. The fans are sick of being force fed things that only Vince himself finds funny. Hopefully, he was actually listening to the "TNA" and "We Want Wrestling" chants. That's probably just wishful thinking though. They really ought to go back and watch old tapes of the skits they did during the attitude era, you know, the ones that were actually funny.
Accept the fact that you are a wrestling company - There's no shame in being a wrestling company. Wrestling is a business filled with tradition dating back over 100 years. In one of my all-time favorite promos, Paul Heyman flat out said, "But professional wrestling is a dirty word to you, isn't it Vince?" I get ill hearing the announcers refer to guys as a "second or third generation sports entertainer", or that this guy trained for a career in "sports entertainment." Last time I checked, Stu Hart, Bob Orton Sr., and Gory Guerrero were wrestlers, not sports entertainers.
Follow Smackdown's example of being wrestling focused - There is big reason why Smackdown is currently the best reviewed show of the three brands. There is not a lot of lame skits or long winded promos. They go out and wrestle. Of course, a lot of it has to do with the Smackdown creative team being made up of former wrestlers. Gee, who would have thought that guys that actually have been in the ring would have a better grasp of the business than the Hollywood writers on Raw?
Hire a continuity editor - Should anyone ever take this job, they can prepare for a large amount of headaches. Vince and Stephanie do not believe in letting the past get in the way of telling stories. They expect fans to have selective memories like they do. It would be different if the stuff they would like for us to ignore were minor details, but they even expect us to forget the major stuff too.
Mend fences with Paul Heyman - Heyman was sent home after six months on the new ECW brand. I was surprised he lasted that long. Heyman has clashed frequently with the McMahons, because they have two different visions about what wrestling should be. Heyman is respected for being one of the most creative minds in the business. If WWE is smart, they will not let him slip through their fingers to TNA or even if someone starts up another company.
Quit the 50/50 booking philosophy - One of the things that has kept WWE in a status quo position for the last few years has been what I like to call the 50/50 booking philosophy. They never seem to want to let anyone get up on the other. Wrestler A loses to Wrestler B. Within the next week, Wrestler B, nine times out of ten, gets his win back. It happened just recently with Chris Masters beating Carlito on pay-per-view, and then Carlito getting his win back the next night on Raw. Neither man wound up being elevated. They say that wins and loss don't matter, but they really do. To elevate someone in the eyes of Joe Fan, they have to be able to put some wins together.
Eliminate the heel authority figure - It is a concept that has been done to death, and I am ready for it to hit the bricks. The heel GM screws the babyfaces over and over. Jonathan Coachman is doing the best he can, but the role has been done many times by much more talented individuals. This is one of the things I like about Jim Cornette in TNA, he isn't a face or a heel. He just makes decisions, and let's the wrestlers do the rest.
Decide if the cameras in the locker room are there or not - This is something that has actually bugged me for a long time. In one vignette, the wrestlers are aware of the camera's presence. In the next one, they act as if the camera is not there. Make up your minds!
Stop being two-faced - Back at the beginning of the Attitude Era, Vince came on TV, and said, "We feel that you, the audience, are tired of having your intelligence insulted." Now look at their current product. Eight out of the ten nominees for wrestlecrap.com's 2006 Gooker Award, are from WWE.
Someone needs to step up and be a heel - In Eric Bischoff's book, one of the valid points he makes about today is that no one wants to be a heel anymore. One of the things WWE is currently suffering from is a lack of main event level heels. They only have two on Raw (Umaga and Edge), one on Smackdown (King Booker), and none in ECW. For the brands to succeed long term, they need guys to step up and take on that role.
Reshuffle the rosters - I'm hoping that they will have another draft this year after Wrestlemania. With the three rosters so thin, it won't be long before the feuds and match combinations become stale.
Allow wrestlers more creative freedom - One of the common complaints about WWE is that it is overly scripted. Too many times during the past year, the company played to a hot crowd, only to have it killed by bad booking. Wrestlers need to have that freedom to improvise and react to what to the crowd is into, and what they are not down with. It also would help their promos if they would go back to the old way of just using bullet points rather than memorizing a script. It would allow the wrestlers to put more of themselves into it, which has been a proven way in the past of connecting better with the audience.
Get Hogan vs. Austin done - It's the last big money matchup out there. Austin wants it. Hogan wants it. The fans want it. The only thing standing in the way is deciding who wins. Whatever it takes, this is a match that needs to happen.
Add more matches to the Pay-Per-Views, and cut back on the endless recap footage - I think I speak for most fans about not liking the fact that we have to plop down $40 for a pay-per-view event, and then over half the program is filled with recap footage. They could take most of that out and get two or three more matches in there, because chances are if we bought the pay-per-view, we already know what has happened between the two opponents.
Bring back tag team wrestling - The Hardys-MNM tag match was the highlight of the December to Dismember pay-per-view. The fatal fourway ladder match stole the show at Armageddon. I think there is an audience out there for tag team wrestling if given the opportunity. With the Hardys, MNM, London and Kendrick, the World's Greatest Tag Team, the Bashams, the Blue Bloods, Cryme Tyme, the Highlanders, and Cade and Murdoch, there is the potential for some really good bouts.
Convince Ric Flair to finally retire - Flair has gone above and beyond the call of duty. It is sad to say, but the time has come for him to gracefully ride off into the sunset. He turns 59 years old next month. All he can really do nowadays is the chop, and the figure four. Most folks, I think would rather remember who he used to be, one of the greatest world champions of all time, versus what he is now, a jobber to the stars.
Move Jillian Hall, Trinity, and Jazz to Raw - Rather than having Mickie James and Victoria wrestle a couple of hundred times this year, it would be nice to throw some other ladies into the mix. To me, it makes sense to move the women that actually can wrestle to the brand that actually has a title for them to try and win. It would also be a good idea to get Beth Phoenix back on the Raw roster.
Keep ignoring TNA's challenge - When one guy calls another guy out, there is an ego thing that says not to back down. This is one instance where Vince McMahon, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels can't give in. If they acknowledge TNA's challenge, they give them instant credibility. There is nothing in it for DX, and TNA knows that. It's similar to when Eric Bischoff was calling Vince out on Nitro a few years ago. They know there is no way they are going to answer it.
Don't mess with Styles and Tazz - They are the best broadcast team in the company, and now for some unknown reason, they've decided to add Brad Armstrong to the mix. Never mind that talking isn't one of Brad's strong points, or that he was constantly losing his train of thought. Styles and Tazz do not need any help in the booth. What they need is a better product to call. If it were up to me, they would be the ones replacing J.R. and the King on the flagship show, when they finally hang it up for good. With both of them in their mid-50's that shouldn't be too much longer.
Make sure that guys are actually ready for their callups - With the three rosters so thin, WWE has been forced into calling up guys from Ohio Valley Wrestling and Deep South Wrestling before they are really ready. For example, one of the guys is named George Murdoch, who wrestles for DSW as G-Rilla. The early reports on his house show matches are that he's worse than Nathan Jones and the Great Khali combined. This goes back to my first resolution. Having two rosters instead of three would slow this process down, and allow guys the proper time to develop their skills.
Lower the prices on the single brand pay-per-views - This is something that would help the pay-per-view buyrates. Taking ten or fifteen bucks off the single brand pay-per-views would encourage more people to buy. I know there are a lot of fans out there that would buy more pay-per-views, but don't want to spend $40, see only half of the stars, and still have 15 other pay-per-vews to go during the course of the year.
Find actual celebrities for crossovers - I wrote two weeks ago about what a mistake it was for Kevin Federline to get the win over John Cena. Yes, it got WWE publicity. However, the publicity they got was all bad. People were laughing at how they could do something that idiotic. There is only one celebrity that should have been allowed to pin the WWE Champion's shoulders to the mat, and his name is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Don't cram Ashley Massaro's Playboy spread down our throats - I always hate to hear when a WWE Diva gets a spread in Playboy. I hate the way WWE always pushes this down our throats as if the WWE Diva accomplished a great feat. They also push the magazine as being more important than the women's championship, which is really annoying. She got naked for a pornographic magazine. It isn't as if she cured cancer, or brought peace to the Middle East!
Continue their outstanding charity work - For all the criticizing I do of the folks in McMahonland, I do believe in giving credit when it is due. WWE has always been good about giving back to various charitable organizations. It is something that is very commendable, and something that I hope they always keep doing.
WWE's problems are not unfixable. The problem is that they refuse to acknowledge that there are problems. Linda McMahon said during the last conference call that they have created three distinct brands, which goes to show that she does not even watch her own programming. I ask them to take my advice. Follow these suggestions. It will make for a more bearable year.
