LOOKING AT THE LAST WEEK IN WRESTLING
By Jeff Gutherz on 1/16/2007 10:26 AM
SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT
K-Fed two weeks ago, the Donald and Rosie last week, what media darling will Vince recruit this week to join in the fun that is WWEs brand of sports entertainment?
Here are three ideas that I believe are as dumb and lame-brained as K-Fed beating Cena and O'Donnell vs. Trump, yet not as significant as the world champ getting pinned and arguably more entertaining.
1) Johnny Nitro invites Paris Hilton to Raw. After extensive coverage of airports, empty parking lots, and sides of buildings, a lookalike shows up to lure Nitro back to her hotel room where she unveils under night vision that she is actually a he (in glow-in-the dark fake-penis goodness).
2) How bout the tag team titles are put up against a mystery team in the main event. After a show hyping the greatest team outside WWE, out comes the Geico Cavemen. The Cavemen squash the champs and win the titles, but due to a Homo-erectus clause in their Geico wresters insurance, the champs retain their titles.
3) During a chase scene involving the Coach and Eugene that breaks down into a fast-motion Benny Hill-esque gimmick, the Coach opens a door to reveal a dummy of Saddam Hussein being lynched as a man in a Gerald Ford mask dances with Ernest the Cat Miller while James Brown's Living in America plays over the scene. The Coach closes the door and continues the Benny Hill shtick with Eugene until they are then joined in the silly chase by Gerald Ford, Ernest Miller, and a now-lively Saddam Hussein.
Ridiculous? Check. Pointless? Check. Offensive? Check. I think these three suggestions are in the mold of WWE's attempt at celebrity crossover storylines.
Go ahead Vince, be my guest.
RAW RAMBLINGS 1/8/07
The Great Khali??
Uh what?
Does Vince hate ECW? Man, it is unbelievable that the ECW somehow gets the screw of the week even when its not on their own show. Dropping the Dreamer angle with a blow-off match is so disrespectful to ECW and Creative is basically spitting on Tommy.
And by the way, where the f*** was Daivari??
Why does Vince emphasize the word lesbian so much? Are lesbians on TV really that shocking anymore? And to boot it is not even a hot lesbian - its Rosie Freaking-O'Donnell. Calm down, Vince.
Is there a point to Rosie verse Donald other then to make me feel embarrassed for watching it?
Jeff Hardy-Kenny Dykstra match was nice. Good to see Hardy have an opponent wanting to take bumps. The finish was fine too. Simple, yet effective. It is always nice to see Flair low blow someone.
Holy hell is Khali ugly.
The Goldberg-Lesnar match with Austin as ref seemed so much sweeter in the Wrestlemania Retro promo than how I remember it.
I wonder if Carlito got a bigger pop than usual just because he followed the piece of shit Donald verse Rosie.
I don't wish an injury on anyone, but knowing that the segment between Rated RKO and HBK has a huge dose of reality thrown in makes it so much more interesting. I realize Creative will now have to scramble and change directions, but that could really turn out to be a good thing.
A replay of Rosie-Donald??
Ron Simmons' Damn can save any angle. Except when they put an imposter Rosie O'Donnell against an imposter Donald Trump.
Is Tommy Dreamer going to run out and make the save for Cena against Khali and Umaga?
EXTREME VIEW 1/9/07
I realize C.M. Punk has to be broken down and pay his dues, but don't they usually wait until the worker gets some time in the sun? Now days they squash whatever momentum a guy has before he ever gets hot.
So, C.M. Punk loses clean to the washed up Holly....clean? I really cant even fathom the reasoning behind such a move.
The Sandman is the sh**. I know he's sloppy, but his defense is that is his character, a sloppy drunk, bar brawler. Funny, enough that is who he really is..and he's fn' great at being himself. It is too bad WWE wont allow the Sandman to really let loose. He should be at the top of the roster and he should have had a good feud with Big Show over the title, but instead Creative obviously has no idea what to do with him.
Dreamer really got buried, by Khali and the WWE writing team both.
RVD delivers another sweet promo.
Next to Punk, Kevin Thorne is the only other good new thing that has come out of WWEs ECW. And if you count Punk having the same gimmick before he came into ECW, then WWE has only produced one good creative effort in the last 6 months.
I dont get the point of having all those Shannon Moore promos and never have him go over on anyone???
Its almost not even cool if RVD wins the title anymore. There are virtually no good challengers for him. He can only wrestle Sabu so many times for no reason before it gets old.
RVD did a great job carrying Lashley to a decent match. Originally wasn't the idea of a professional wrestling champion was that THE CHAMPION would be able to carry his opponent to a good match. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!
I love how Test interfered. RVD was about to get buried. Now, that can wait until Hardcore Holly does it right in a month from now.
TNA 1/11/07
Serotonin is another one that had interesting promos for weeks before debuting and getting jobbed out every week.
Great series of suplexes by Angle in the end of his match.
A creative promo with Team 3-D riding the tank. There needs to be a lot more of these off-the-set promos by all wrestlers. Not all promos have to be in the ring or backstage.
Raven has been great with his new look, the weird masks, and lashings of his flunkies. He truly gives his all when trying to be different and unique. He should be much more over than he is, but due to a decrease in his wrestling skills and losing credibility during his stint in WWE he has succumbed to being a perennial mid-carder. A feud with Sting would be a choice situation to bring him back up to the main event and give Sting a solid enemy as well.
The six man match was well-paced and entertaining. Petey Williams had some great spots, the Styles-Daniels face-off was a nice touch, and A.J. rolling up his former partner after faking an injury was a cool way to finish this television match.
James Mitchell's promos are very effective in getting over the seriousness of the in-reality silliness that is the Abyss storyline.
I wonder why Konnan getting attacked by Team 3-D wasnt show. Did it look that bad?
The VKM segment was worthless. This once interesting and controversial angle parodying DX has become as dull as DX is lame. Both teams antics produce a chuckle or two, but as a whole are usually corny and pointless.
The main angle for the show culminating in the Tomko-Abyss match was well-written and well executed. From Cornette having Angle at ringside and Kurt getting jumped by Samoa Joe, to Christian-in-a-box and subsequent escape to Abyss succumbing to Mitchell's influence and laying out Sting, the booking was a great way to lead into Final Resolution.
LAYING THE SMACKDOWN 1/12/07
I like how the Beat the Clock matches mean something and how everyone is trying to get the quick pin. Makes for a different kind of match which is definitely a good thing.
Hardy and Finlay had a solid, but short match. Mercury's attack on Hardy and promo were also well done.
Tatanka vs. Yang was ok. Yang would really benefit by a jump to TNA and I still dont understand why Tatanka is beating anyone.
Kennedy has developed great timing, but Id like to see him use a few more moves. His match with Benoit was good, although Benoit can put on a decent match with just about anyone
I'm into London & Kendrick's stuff and I never was a fan of the Bluebloods. That being said, put the two teams side by side and physically it would appear that Regal and Taylor would beat the sh** out of the tag champs.
I cant believe Vito is still wearing a dress. Why is every other angle dropped prematurely except Vito wears a dress?
The Miz had his biggest match in his career against the Undertaker and he put on a solid effort being UT's whipping boy. For the most part I like the Miz, but UT should have destroyed him in two minutes.
The ending of the main event was well-conceived and executed, but anti-climatic, which is the main problem of the Beat the Clock gimmick as a whole. The experiment was nice and it wasnt nearly as bad as the Reverse Battle Royal, but lets move on and try something new.
THE WEEK THAT WAS 1/8/07 to 1/14/07
C.M. Punk's huge loss on ECW is another reason ECW needs to just go away.
Raw suffered a huge loss of their own when Triple H went down with an injury and creative scrambled to recover. So, they brought in the Great Khali and dropped the ongoing Dreamer feud in ECW. They screwed themselves in order to save themselves, and it was because of the Great Khali. Good job.
Smackdown had some good wrestling and was the best show of the week, but the show lacks stories and star power.
Impact slowed down a bit from last week, but for the most part put out a solid effort.
Sweetest match of the week: A little too many restholds, but Benoit brought Kennedy to a strong match that told a nice story.
Stalest match of the week: Donald Trump vs Rosie O-Donnell. Nuff said.
Sweetest promo: Edge and Ortons reality-infused square off against HBK.
Stalest promo of the week: Rosie again.
Sweetest moment of the week: The TNA chants during Donald and Rosie match.
Stalest moment of the week: The announcement of Rosie verse Donald at the beginning of RAW.
From the Take It For What You Will Dept: A friend of mine that works at an upscale club in New York City told me he saw Shane McMahon come in and hang out with Chuck Liddell last weekend.
Jeff Gutherz
Comments Welcome!
