Seen it on RAW. It was lame then. DonÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t need to see it again. (FAST FORWARD >>)
Mr. McMahon via Satellite
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Enough of the gloating, self-promoting, self-gratifying, verbal masturbation. OK we get it. McMahon owns the company. He can do what he wants. And the fans be damned. But I donÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢tÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢ have to listen to it! (FAST FORWARD >>)
(Side note: WhatÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s the betting pool for WHEN little Rose McMahon-Levesque wins her first WWE title? IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m guessing she does it before her 10th birthday.)
Opening match: Rob Van Dam versus Snitsky
Will they allow the ultra talented Van Dam to get some offense on the ultra untalented McMahon-approved monster? Yeah, a little. Fast forward through the first half of the match where Snitsky shows heÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s been taking rest-hold lessons from the Legendary Hotel-Room Killer Randy Orton. Van Dam gets in a decent set of moves at the end of the match, before Snitsky gets frustrated that he canÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t do anything cooler than grab, punch, and kick. He whacks RVD with a chair, and we get close-ups on his new teeth while the announcer promote what a pretty shade of yellow they are. (ThatÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s his new gimmick --- yellow teeth? What is he? Issac Yankem. I thought he was supposed to be Kane!?!) Anyways, five minutes after this match, I couldnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t remember who won and didnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t even care.
CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards
Richards looks good here. Styles even promotes him as an ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“ECW OriginalÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â. (With Sabu sent packing to Bombay, Michigan, maybe Richard will now become RVD's lackey, and change his name to Stevie D. They could do a Bill & TedÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s gimmick.) I liked this match, but once I remembered that Richards hasnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t won a match in several years (since the silly RTC gimmick) and he undoubtedly wonÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t win here either. So why should I or any of the fans care?
New Breed backstage
Decent segment. Did what it was supposed to do ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ promote the characters and the main event match. These guys are improving, and the New Breed gimmick has helped. None of them are ready to shine on their own yet, but given some time, they should all do okay. I think the recent storyline interactions between Burke and Striker are intriguing. BurkeÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s charisma is undeniable, but his delivery is still amateurish and not quite believable ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ sometimes he comes off likes heÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s doing bad community theater.
Kevin Thorn vs. Nunzio
Wait, is he Nunzio or Little Guido? Nobody knows or seems to care. Just call him ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“lostÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â. By the way, I am so darned sick of Joey Styles feeding us the ridiculous ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thorn and Ariel frequent bite clubs around the worldÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â crap! WHO THE F CARES?!?! (SoÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s Marv Albert, but you donÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t hear that mentioned on every frigginÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢ NBA broadcast!!!) Thorn has a gimmick, but apparently thatÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s all there is to him. His matches are boring. He has no charisma. And his character has absolutely no direction. PLUS, the infinitely more charismatic and much more talented Guidunzio was allowed absolutely offense whatsoever --- NONE! (This is a definite FAST FORWARD >>. If you want to look at Ariel, then gOOgle her onlineÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦ thatÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s all IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m gonna say. DonÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t waste your time with this match.)
The title is right. We've been condemned with this crap on every WWE show for months now. The best thing I can say about it is they didnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t try to do another tie-in storyline, like the dumb, dumb, dumb ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“May 19thÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“ gimmick. (FAST FORWARD >>)
Yawn! (FAST FORWARD >>)
Video package ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ Lashley versus Coach, Shane, Vince, Umaga from RAW
Maybe you didn't hear me earlierÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦ Seen it on RAW. Saw it at the top of the show. ItÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s lame then, now, and forever. (FAST FORWARD >>)
A half step above Extreme Expose, but nothing interesting was said. Another yawn for me. (FAST FORWARD >>)
Lashley vs. New Breed (Burke, Cor Von, and Striker)
Surprisingly good match! Definitely the highlight of the show for me. Cor Von and Lashley got in the majority of offense. The one-handed powerbomb-from-the-rafters by Lashley on Striker was AB-SO-LUTELY SICK! It completely made up for the horrible-looking pounce by Cor Von which ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“knockedÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Lashley over the top rope moments earlier. (Instead of running straight off the ropes, Lashley awkwardly slowed down, ran kitty-corner toward the ropes, and a weaker-than-usual looking pounce knocked him over.) Striker gets punked again, thus cementing his New Breed whipping boy status.
Side note: IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m quite surprised that ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“CreativeÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â (just threw up in my mouth a little) didnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t spell Cor VonÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s name as ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“Marcus Kor VonÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â, since the ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“MKVÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â initials would seemingly appeal to the massive ego of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon (VKM).
Not a good show. The first 48 minutes or so were a horrible waste-of-time. The main event match was enjoyable, but it didnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t nothing to make me want to buy any PPV. Instead, it made me want to see a Lashley/New Breed feud continue (particularly Lashley/Cor Von). And, like I said previously, I really enjoy the Striker/Burke interactions. Those are infinitely more interesting than SnitskyÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s yellow teeth or ThornÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s bite club nonsense. (2 out of 5 stars, with both stars earned by the final match only)
This weekÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s ECW on Sci-Fi came from Baltimore, Maryland. Good city, bad football team.
The show began with Vince McMahon still wearing a doo-rag (which doesnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t make sense as he has to have some hair by now.) Live from ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“WWE Studios.ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â He cuts a promo and then the best part of the show came afterÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦the opening video. Yeah I know, nowadays when I watch ECW, I look forward to the beginning video. IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m not lying.
RVD vs. Zits-on-my-back-ski ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ if they want to put Snitsky over again, why not just have Kane impregnate somebody and have Snitsky kill the baby again? It worked before. But I guess the writing team thinks the DivaÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢s are too smart to fall for that twice. WeÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢ll its either get impregnated by Kane or wrestle in pudding for those girls.
CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards III ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ this time with heel CM PunkÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦I think? CM Punk puts some great moves in, including an exploder suplex, which most people confuse for a regular T-Bone suplex, unless IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m missing something. Stevie put on some good defense from what I saw, until CM Punk used his badly named, Go to Sleep move and won.
God I hate that move name. Creative wasnÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t even trying. Dear WWE, come up with something more original and less stupid, I BEG YOU.
Kevin Thorn vs. FBI ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ The best part of the match: Ariel. She did nothing, but did it well.
After another Condemned feature (which proves the 25 vulgar complaints to WWE I sent arenÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t working,) The Extreme Expose took Justin Timberlake TO THE EXTREME!
Cpl. Muscle vs. D-Minus, The Monty Brown Experience, and Pac-man Jones (now with 4-up) ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œ suplex, suplex, tag, pounceÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦period, comeback, punch, punch, rest hold, tag, rest hold, clothesline, chokeslam, spear, Lashley over. Who cares.
The show was a piece of crap, I canÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t believe Sabu got canned, and IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m not sure where heÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢ll go now as IÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢m pretty sure he burned his bridges with TNA. Lets hope Dixie Carter is a forgiving lady.
Let me just say now I canÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢t wait the get the Wrestlemania DVD, but I know youÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚Â¢ll still be weirded out when you hear:
ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å“Smackdown, Raw, and EEEE SEEE DOUBLEYOUUUU present the 23rd annual Wrestlemania.ÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â Words you never thought you would ever hear, eh? Hosers.
Windsor, Ontario, Canada