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THE DEAD MAN RISES YET AGAIN - LOOKING AT TONIGHT'S WWE UNFORGIVEN PPV

Unforgiven looms, and it beckons on the horizon in the shadow of the turd known as Summerslam 07. Can it possibly follow that colossal disappointment? Does it ever? Isn’t Unforgiven the Backlash of the Autumn season? I’m Michael Campbell, and I’d like to briefly offer the following thoughts on tonight’s oh-so-exciting PPV.

After the Summerslam match (which grew on me upon a second viewing… yes there were too many headlocks, but it was still a good match, people really let their anger towards Cena affect their judgement of what was a crisply told story), when EVERYONE was sure that we’d have a new Champion, and were proved wrong, now many are convinced Orton will lose again. If he does, there’s no need for this feud to continue, which I’m sure it will for at least one more PPV showdown. And it Orton were to win by DQ etc, sure it could set up a gimmick stipulation rematch, but that has got to be utterly insane. I mean, you’re talking about booking a baby face champion who is universally disliked by large portions of the crowd to lose the title then, to a heel, in backwards fashion. Orton winning in a third, and gimmick match, would be complete baby face booking.

Anyways, I’m sticking with Orton picking up the win, and the title. They need to pull the trigger while there’s still some ammo, and they can still do the gimmick rubber match, with the belt around the other waist, so to speak.

Winner by pinfall, and New Champ: Randy Orton.

Taker will have a fanciful entrance that will last longer than most WWE cruiserweight matches, and it will be all nice and exciting. Then he’ll have a match. And it will be atrocious.

In all seriousness, it will be swell having the Dead Man back, but this bout is in fact an obstacle in being able to enjoy that. Hopefully it’s a quicker squash than I think it will be. If you don’t think Taker is winning this, you’re utterly insane.

I hope there’s a post-match scene involving druids attempting to cart the World’s Fattest Strongman away, and failing miserably.

Winner by Pinfall: Undertaker.

Am I seriously questioning who is going to win this.? It is possible they could have a good encounter, if Hunter feels like having an exciting back-and-forth match. But I doubt it. Carlito will probably pull out all sorts of horrendously heinous tactics, and still end up in the jobber role.

Winner: Triple H

Sigh. I droned on and on all summer, while everyone else moaned that Khali should drop the belt to Batista (he shouldn’t… he sucks too), that I’d rather see Dave fed to him, so we could build up to a truly historic underdog comeback/win for Rey. So he could then go on to wear the title and be booked like an actual champion, rather than the loser he portrayed last time he held the gold. That was botched when this match was booked with horrendous build-up, that pretty much told us that Rey wouldn’t appear in the least bit threatening. Then Batista was added. Ugh. The result of all this nonsense is that I really don’t care about it at all. Khali will pin Rey.

Winner by pinfall: The “Great” Khali

World Tag Title Match

I’m actually pretty pumped for this one. How often do we see the damn well underused team of Kendrick and London appear on PPV? Although this will only last 8 minutes, I think these four will exhibit good chemistry, and booking-permitted, have a fine encounter. The African win and loss of the tag belts for the young lads indicates to me some sort of bizarre trial run from WWE bigwigs, which in turn suggests they’ll raise the straps tonight (I know, crazy, it’s not like they cold gage that from putting them on TV every week is it?). But I don’t see it. I think they’re thinking about it, but aren’t convinced. It doesn’t have to happen right now. But I think we’ll see the former ROH stars pull out a disqualification victory, in another awkward “test”, that is only used on cruiserweights, whereas if they were a hundred pounds heavier, they’d be like 8 time champions by now. I do foresee them continuing to pursue the belts though and if they “impress” the right people, they’ll even wear them come next month.

Winners by DQ: London and Kendrick

These two are only facing each other because the WWE feel the need to maintain Punk’s surprise (well, a surprise to them anyway..) momentum, but are so witless they risk ruining it with totally pointless booking. Hopefully these two, who typically have hit and miss affairs, will be both be on form, and come up trumps. If so, Punk will hopefully be primed for his eventual loss to returning John Morrison. Not much to be optimistic about then. Could be good though. No way is Burke winning.

Winner by pinfall : CM Punk

Who cares? No really…who cares?

I suspect that this one will be more about the champs rivalry (gasp, really?), than the title. It’s been done before a million times, and it’s excruciatingly boring, positioning the belts as props rather than any kind of legitimate trophy. Ah well. It still should be a good match, and in all likelihood will go on first. Obviously the legendary team of Hardy & MVP will lose the belts. Will it be here? There’s no need for it to be, so it probably will happen.

Winners and new Champions: D & D

On paper, this one has the potential perhaps for some decent matches to take place. But the excitement and intrigue that one felt leading into Summerslam isn’t there at all. And since that atrocity didn’t even begin to live up to expectations, there’s little chance this one will. It should do good business thanks to the title match, the Taker returns, and the still-fresh Rey and Hunter. But I doubt it will be memorable, like most Unforgivens, it will hardly be Unforgettable. What I imagine, sadly, will be forgettable, is the umpteenth return of Undertaker, in his umpteenth victory over an over-pushed sad-sack.