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A CYNICAL VIEW LOOKS AT TRIPLE H PEDIGREEING THE ENTIRE RAW TAG DIVISION INTO OBLIVION

The Cynical View

Exciting wrestlers and characters? Not for me thanks.

Welcome back to “The Cynical View”. If you read my last column, it’s greatly appreciated. If not, then I’m damned happy you’re reading this particular sheet of dirt.

Almost nothing, (and I emphasize… almost…) bugs me as much as a senior level performer berating younger performers for the level at which they are at. This happens all the time in the WWE. Is it a locker room where the wiser, older guys are helping the youngsters develop as much as possible, to improve the overall product? Or is it WCW-like in that it’s inhabited by crusty elderly men terrified of losing their spots, keen to backstab and hold back the kids?

You tell me.

Last week on Raw, when Triple H pedigreed Paul London and Brian Kendrick, was he simply playing his part in a forgettable run of the mill, TV segment? Or was “The Game” sending these youngsters the usual message? That is to say, that it is their responsibility to take the ball, and run with it? Was it a case of once more, an established main eventer punishing the future talent “for their own good”? This certainly wouldn’t be the first time. Especially not for Hunter, a man notorious for his in-ring messages, and backstage tirades. It’s completely degrading and inexcusable however, even if you are the guy who will soon be running the company. In fact, taken in that regard it’s even worse, as such a negative point behind made is counter-productive to those silly little things that the WWE needs to continue to do, like, you know… build new stars up who will draw money in the future.

Never mind the fact that right now, in the present, Hunter has now destroyed and demeaned the current tag team champions.

Let’s backtrack and say for sure that this is the case, and Hunter and management are indeed delivering a message to the younger guys that they think little of their ability and of the results they are producing. Fair enough. London and Kendrick are not having great matches week in, week out. They’ve never cut one single, memorable or even interesting promo, and of course, the fans at the shows couldn’t give a crap about them. That’s all completely true. But exactly what are London and Kendrick expected to do to change this scenario? They are never given more than ten minutes in order to work a match, and when they are in the ring, they are almost without fail, given the task of selling for their bigger (read, “superior”) opponents.

In their entire tenure within the WWE, neither has had a decent moment on the microphone, because neither of them are ever given an opportunity on the stick. What’s the consequence of this oversight? Well, they have little personality in the ring, because they’re both lying on the mat getting their asses kicked the majority of the time, and meanwhile, they aren’t cutting promos that could establish having some sort of sympathy, outside of it. How do the office expect the fans to empathise with these two, and get behind them in their matches? I suppose the WWE could have the master plan they often used back in the day with the Hardy’s, and even further back with the Rockers, having the faces get beat down for the whole match, only to pull out some breath-taking, exciting, innovative moves before the climax. That way, even if they still lose, the viewer is given the impression that every time they watch these guys, there is the possibility that these “high-spots” will be demonstrated. Repetitive? Maybe, but it’s a proven formula. Oh wait, but the WWE has banned their exciting, high-flying manoeuvres. Scratch that one then.

Obviously selling is a ridiculously important part of a ‘rasslin’ bout, and I’m obviously not going to argue that. It’s self explanatory why good selling is so crucial. However, it is not alone, enough of a tool to get a team of baby faces over. In the post Austin, UFC-era, who gives a crap about two guys who “heroically” come back for more after a horrendous beating? This isn’t 1985 folks. “Londrick” , as they’re known online, look weak. They look weak, and it’s boring. Fans these days don’t especially want to wait months and months to see one 450 splash. They demand a comeback a little more frequently than that, to reward their attention.

Interesting word that…comeback. When as a wrestling fan, you hear that word, you think of Hogan’s Hulking up comeback (a superman style one), or Shawn Michaels, and his dramatic, back-clutching comeback (an exhibition in how to be exciting and perform your moves, without forgetting the story at work within the bout), or the Hardy Boy’s stringing together a dazzling series of moves that outwit their evil foes. What’s important, is that these guys all have proper comebacks. Londrick, much of the time, don’t. They just get beat up. More importantly, they aren’t involved in feuds that reward the fans in the same way that a match would. They don’t have a heroic, against the odds victory at the end. In fact, they don’t see any sort of victories. In fact, they don’t even cut a promo to express disappointment after losing (the single biggest logic problem in pro-wrestling). In fact, very little of what they do can go towards being regarded as an actual feud.

So I go back to the point. Why the hell are we expected to care about these two, and why the hell are they blamed because we don’t?

If anything, after Triple H’s action last week, we should have some feeling (rather than they being invisible) towards them. We should treat them like idiots. After all, they saved a guy who just had a match with two wrestlers, then were stupid enough to get beat up by that same individual. Does that not make them utterly incompetent? Yeah. That sure makes me want to see them get another shot at the titles. Now, instead of being non-entities, the lead good guy tag team on Raw, are two charisma-deficient, gullible dimwits. How can the WWE get is so wrong with two young, good-looking, athletic, versatile, and exciting talents, who have such potential to draw actual money with such wide appeal? Not to mention the fact that they both sport physiques that the WWE, if they had any sense at all, would right now consider the perfect look that they want to draw attention to. How helpful would it be if they even attempted to garner a little positive feedback by pushing a few smaller guys, if even to ease the media pressure on the Steroid issue?

Essentially, London and Kendrick have all the key components that history would suggest are the key to success. Sure, their mic skills have been exposed as being sub-par, but this could change with that unknown concept, of … gasp… practice. Does HHH not remember how absolutely rubbish his promos were, before late 1997, when he gained his confidence over the next year and-a-half by being able to spout the same catchphrases every single week?

Hey, maybe it’s a good thing that they aren’t though. Because back in the time that Hunter has forgot, he wasn’t working word-for-word from a script, the way guys now have to. So when he talks about how he and other top guys, took the ball and ran with it, it was true to an extent. They were able to tap into aspect of their personalities, and use what worked on camera to develop their characters. Given three minutes on the mic in late 1997, “The Game” was able to pull out a few funny phrases that had fans in hysterics. It wouldn’t be quite the same if he was in the same position right now, cutting scripted poop jokes. The boos that reign down on John Cena every night speak volumes about that.

Maybe Triple H and Vince McMahon don’t want them to succeed. Maybe they don’t want tag wrestling to succeed. After all, the infallible McMahon believes tag wrestling has never, and never will draw. And he doesn’t believe smaller guys draw either. Hunter’s probably pretty much the same, and even if he wasn’t, he sure doesn’t want guys beneath him on the card having more exciting matches than him. What if the people notice! He also doesn’t seem to want other people to run with that ball they all talk about, unless its someone who he’d hand-picked himself (Batista springs to mind…) It’s all so self-destructive and yet so obvious. But the WWE insist on getting it wrong. What they are right about is that there is a lack of money to be made in the tag division. But that’s their own fault, and could be changed. In the meantime, fans will watch London and Kendrick challenge Cade and Murdoch for the tag titles, and be bored to tears, because they’re four guys we’ve been sold on being unable to beat up one guy between them. They’re losers. And the tag belts? They’re for losers too.

But Paul London and Brian Kendrick shouldn’t feel too bad. Even though they get beat up every night, the crowds are barely aware they exist, they have no personas at all (it’s more important to push racist stereotypes), and their promo time is none, they’re both still having better matches than Triple H was having in 1997 without the help of Mick Foley. Just imagine how good they could be, if they were allowed to be. Will Triple H ever learn? I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t at all be shocked to see Hunter book himself in the main event of Wrestlemania 30 because the younger guys haven’t “taken the ball….”.

Then he’ll proceed to have a quality match. I’m lying about one part of that sentence ya know.  Thanks for taking the time to read this wacky rant. If you have any comments, I welcome and encourage all feedback. please get in touch at bazilalfonso@hotmail.com Until bell-time, thanks again.