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Dear WWE,
I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your standard of television and PPV programming over the past few months.
At the start of this year, I was extremely bored by WWE, and I'm glad to have been reassured in recent weeks by the fact that the company obviously knows better than its audience.
After an incredibly dull and boring John Cena vs. Umaga program at the start of the year that ended without any cock jokes, I was mortified to learn that heading towards WrestleMania 23, I would witness weeks of television that was built around John Cena, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker and Batista. Furthermore, I was disgusted to see these four involved in serious wrestling matches and interviews from January through to April. Luckily, by the time WrestleMania had ended, you saw the light, and decided to think about the audience rather than yourselves.
If I'm being honest, I was worried about the direction the company was heading in. When you announced that all of your monthly PPV's (which I think are excellent value for money, especially that ECW show last year that had an amazing Elimination Chamber match) would involved wrestlers from all three brands, I must admit I had my concerns. I read on the Internet that it could mean a wrestler from RAW faces a wrestler from Smackdown or ECW for the first time. Luckily, you've taught me to learn that the Internet is a horrible place (other than WWE.com of course, where I get ALL my wrestling news from!) that only 0.000001% of your audience pays any attention to, so when it became apparent that you were going to stick with the tried and tested method of making all PPVs seem like another edition of RAW, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
I must admit I wondered why people were chanting "Y2J" last week, and for a split-second I wondered if it was linked to the Internet. Then, I realised that it was happening during a Bob Holly match. Bob was a big name with your company during those years where we could channel hop between RAW and Nitro (which I actually saw on Spike TV last week!), so I figured the "Y2J" chant must have been started by somebody having a nostalgic moment.
If you don't mind, I would actually like to make a suggestion regarding your PPVs, WWE. You already have proven over the past year or so that your winning formula involves Mr. McMahon, his newfound son, and those hilarious "cock" jokes. Can't we have more of them? I'd much rather see more of Mr. McMahon's backstage antics on PPV than a short, boring contest that usually involves a guy with a Pepsi logo on his body. Who is he, anyway?
I also had some doubts about your company after watching Nancy Grace and shows of that nature a couple of months ago. They made it sound like people in your company were using illegal substances. I questioned for a few days whether WWE really did know its audience. You can imagine my relief when Mr. Kennedy appeared on TV to set the record straight. Unfortunately, I didn't see him on television for a while after that. I assumed the company had given him some time off to repay him for the good work he had done on television.
A friend of mine told me shortly after that, that he'd read on the Internet that Mr. Kennedy was Mr. McMahon's son. Oh, how I laughed. He was convinced about it as well! Then he told me that Mr. Kennedy and some other wrestlers had gotten in trouble for taking drugs. I gave him the tape of Mr. Kennedy on television to put him right on that one. Plus, by then, he was put right when we found out that Hornswoggle was Mr. McMahon's son. I'd like to pay tribute to the company about the quality of programming since Hornswoggle has been given a lot more time on television. I had just managed to stop laughing from DX's countless number of "cock" jokes last year (let me tell you, you were right, those jokes never stop being funny!!), then you come up with more hilarious skits such as Hornswoggle blowing Coach up under the ring, and having them "wrestle" on your flagship show. Hilarious!
I'm looking forward to next week's edition of RAW. I truly am. For a while, I stupidly thought that seeing the likes of Matt Hardy, the Pepsi logo guy and other young wrestlers with the potential to be higher up the pecking order than they already are would be the way to go. That'll teach me! I appreciate you know best, and seeing Steve Austin, Vince McMahon and DX all on the same show once again means that what with Nitro back on my TV for two hours, I'll hopefully be treated to a total of four hours of quality programming next week!
I can't wait to tune in later in the month to see DX invading Universal Studios and calling out some of those Nitro guys. That'll show them!
If you’ve not done so already, don’t forget you can check out the latest edition of TNAlt, a weekly alternative to Nitr...TNA’s flagship television show here on PWInsiderXtra.com. Voting on this week's show closes this Saturday at 12noon EST.
You can contact Phil Lowe at phil@tnalt.com.
