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PREVIEWING ARMAGEDDON AND LOOKING AT THE TOP TEN MATCHES OF ARMAGEDDONS PAST

The Cynical View

A Cynical Top Ten Armageddon Matches

                                            By Michael Campbell

 I’ve already looked at the history of Armageddon, so in that storied tradition, I here present The Cynical View top ten matches from the PPV “extravaganza” 

Triple H vs. The Rock vs. Rikishi vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle©

 should point out here, that I hated the concept of this match. Hell In a Cell had such an established, overpowering aura (despite the WWE’s attempts to ruin it- overexposing the gimmick with a Raw effort between Kane and Steve Austin- the pitiful match at Wrestlemania XV between The Boss Man and The Undertaker), that was built on it being the definitive battle-ground in which to settle a personal grudge. For me, this was sacrilege. What was personal about shoving the five top contenders to the title, in their with the champion?

The match was redeemed however, by basing it around an ingenious storyline. Commissioner Mick Foley booked the match as a way to settle all the issues that were occurring, particularly with the guys involved interfering in each others television efforts. What made this special, was that Vince McMahon tried to intervene, citing the dangerous nature of the bout as his reason. He didn’t want his top stars all risking injury in such a high-risk situation, and blamed Foley’s ego on this match taking place. In a stroke of genius, they actually followed the match with Foley indeed regretting he had booked it. Different, and really good concept. Hey, if you’re gonna crap all over the reasoning behind a matches’ existence, you may as well do it this effectively.

The bout itself is spectacular. Much of the action relies on Triple H and Steve Austin, both then engaging in their epic rivalry. They’re both on top form here, as are Angle (in a sensational performance) and The Rock, who help hold things together. Undertaker is actually a rather shy presence throughout this, with this main reason for inclusion being to throw Rikishi off the top of the cell. It’s the lamest HIAC high-spot ever though, as he lands meekly on a pile of Hay located on the back of a pick-up truck (Vince drives a truck in, in an attempt to attach the cell to it, and literally pull it apart. How dangerous would that have been during the match, if he succeeded!). Otherwise, it’s a thrilling encounter, with a huge array of exciting moments. The final stages of it, with Angle/Rock/Austin/Hunter left in the squared circle, are as dramatic as pro-wrestling can be. If you haven’t see this, go out of your way to see it now. Shame about the undercard though.

Forever doomed to be remembered as the match that ended Joey Mercury’s WWE career, and transformed him into a Phantom of the Opera reject (poor Joey- he was fantastic as part of MNM), this is nonetheless, an amazing effort, from all involved. You really only have to look at the line up, to see what potential there was here (and actually for the WWE’s tag division full-stop). How the boffins in the offices cannot look at stuff like this, see the crowd’s reactions, interpret the accolades it’s received since, and realize that this is something they could make money with, is beyond me. Cruiserweights can be innovative and exciting and high-flying, without forsaking psychology and storytelling ya know. But try telling the WWE that. Instead of combining their modern abilities and perspective with old school teaching, they simply remove whatever the hell they don’t like.

Anyways, that has very little to do with this match, which by the way… is great. Dizzying, dangerous, innovative, and at the time, fresh , it’s also memorable, even without the nasal explosion. Just think, there’s Dave Taylor and William Regal, actually scared to climb the ladder. There’s Nitro/Morrison, left on his own whilst Joey tends to his nosebleed, and we have London and Kendrick, who could have been the combo they became equal to, who they face here, the Hardys.

Of course, it should be observed that while was one of the most exciting PPV matches of the year, it was also unadvertised, and thus didn’t draw one customer. Clever that.

3. WWE Title Four way Match (2004)

A barrel of fun. This is how to work a fatal four way. Champion JBL is a coward, so he spends the beginning of the bout running away from the Undertaker, before the other three guys all combine to slap him around. Good crowd heat for this. I’ve always been of the opinion that these sort of title multi-person matches should occur more often, especially in the lulls between proper long term rivalries. They offer opportunities, and bridge storylines between the workers, whilst also offering a chance to test the waters for chemistry in future opponents.

Anyways, these four compete here in a nicely paced, exciting war, which builds up to a fever pitch, with a bunch of table spots, and a great few moments between Guerrero and Undertaker. Like WWE triple threat matches however, there’s still that hindrance of not being clear whether it should be a Non match or not. There’s a really fun moment where Eddie has Taker pinned, and the way the camera moves leads you to belief that someone’s going to break the count from the far side of the ring, but instead, JBL completely rips the ref from the mat and to the outside from an incredibly odd angle. Following this, there’s a whole bunch of great action as everyone get’s their licks in, and kicks out of finishers in intricately booked sequences. Shame about the Heidenreich interference though, but I guess, if you’re going to do a crappy run in on PPV, this is the way to do it! One problem, the wonderful cameraman misses JBL’s finisher. Duh!

Great little outing.

4. Booker T vs. Chris Benoit (2005)

Although for me, This feud was a little overdone by this point, as this part of a Best of Seven Series, which had already been done before in WCW, it actually went down a storm with the WWE audience. Benoit actually went down three to zero in the series, so this one, the fourth, marked an absolute must win for the Canadian. An unusual case of really smart booking when it came to Benoit’s character actually. Thus the crowd were super-hot for this one, which saw Booker T playing the cowardly heel.

The thing about these two is, no matter how often the same formula was applied, these two always had fantastic chemistry, and brought out the absolute best in each other.

Here, the match starts out slowly, with some nice exchanges offering a mixture of striking, and nice take-downs, and traditional mat wrestling. Good stuff throughout this, with both guys looking like stars, and elevating each other from somewhat stale positions at that point in their careers. They play really nicely on some of the occurrences from the first three of the series, which works perfectly, whipping the crowd into a frenzy towards the end. It all leads to what I felt, was a very Bret Hart style finishing sequence. Great match, and this whole best of seven series, is worth re-visiting if one hasn’t seen it lately.

Disappointing, Chavo interference aside, this is one heck of a match, with a really solid, old-school grappling emphasis, that categorized the superb television Smackdown was giving us in late 02. Angle-Benoit-Brock-Edge-The Guerreros-Rey, these were indeed, the glory days for the show.

This was actually a low-key effort, as both men had been in tag competition for most of the preceding months, with Benoit losing his spot somewhat, as partner Kurt Angle was being groomed for a Mania match with Brock Lesnar. Thus, Benoit was thrown into this bout with one half of the tag champs. It worked however, as both guys deliver a smoldering, dense battle, that may feature “boring” chants early on (idiots), but later has the crowd on the edge of their seats. As far as last minute mid-card matches go, you don’t get much better than this. It isn’t their best WWE clash, but it’s a damn ways better than their dull One Night Stand effort. The sort of match Bret Hart would be thrilled by, this helped make Armageddon 02 a fairly satisfying event.

A mild disappointment this one. Most people were baffled that Orton was built up to be put over in this one, only to actually lose. Add to that, the fact that the build up included some of the most ridiculous scenes that the WWE has ever committed to film. As I said in my previous Armageddon column..

So yeah, while the match isn’t worthless, the build-up certainly was. It was so hammy and ludicrous , so far from reality, and so close to what McMahon imagines wrestling could be, but if it is to remain wrestling, never should be.

Within the squared circle, Taker beats Randy up a lot (to the snarling, screeching woeful sound of Michael Cole’s commentary), whilst the youngest Orton manages to continually stay in it with his reflexes and ingenuity. Like most of Taker’s cell matches, this is a leisurely, effectively brutal stroll, but here it just slightly misses the mark in terms of overall impact. What does drag this, kicking and screaming, up a level, is the final couple of minutes, which see’s Orton hit a tombstone, just for Taker to kick out.

Not bad, but you wouldn’t be missing a great deal either.

Did this rivalry not take place as a result of Jericho spilling coffee on Kane or something? Sigh. They could have dressed it however they wanted, but he fact was, these were two guys who were dumped out of the important spots, and ended up with each other for leftovers.

Luckily for us, they both made the best of it, combining to create an entertaining, simple tale, of one young guy (who used to never win PPV matches), versus an incontrollable monster with a “burning” rage (coffee BURNS, you see). Kane was certainly out to impress in this one, which see’s him bump around a lot in the early going. Jericho attacks him on the way in, taking the fight unexpectedly to Kane out the back. Thus, the first half of the bout concentrates on the underdog using his speed and wit, to shock his opponent, before Kane’s size and strength has him gain the upper hand. From there, they use the same basic roadwork that Jericho and Triple H had laid out in their (Last Man Standing) match in July of that year. Kane absolutely pummels Jericho, who shows heart and fire to keep getting up, before eventually outsmarting the beast. Also, there’s a completely ridiculous finish that makes no sense (Jericho pushes a huge pile of barrels on top of his burnt opponent, keeping him down for ten, even though Kane was clearly not lying on the floor. Sill…).

Also, Teddy Long as the referee! Those were the days…..

Mick Foley was the guest referee for this one, which added a little to the fantastic slow-burner of a feud between Orton and Foley. And at this point, Orton was slowly building steam as an undoubted star in the making, ensuring that his possible title victory here, felt like should it occur, it would be a big event.

The match itself is very good indeed, as Orton and Van Dam were two guys who always worked really nicely together . This is what you would expect, fast-paced, scattered high-spots from Rob, mixed in with Orton’s more methodical, wearing down techniques.

But there’s one problem. Smack, bang, right in the middle of this one, Van Dam is trapped in a head lock, for exactly I minute, 44 seconds. It feels like an absolute eternity. Is that really necessary?!? Surely, he could have broke free, then they would go back to it? Anyways, these seems to the the match that encouraged Randy to become the master of the headlock, as the crowd stay with it, chanting for Van Dam as he attempts to comeback. Combine that incident, with the fact that the match isn’t actually that long, and you end up with a result that isn’t anywhere near what it could be, isn’t even their best encounter, but is still a decent piece of work. And remember, at Armageddon, the standard is set so low….

Good, but not great, important, but not memorable. A two minute freaking’ headlock…

This is one of those matches during a troublesome period for “The Cerebral Assassin”, where he wrestled injured. It’s a Herculean effort for sure, but sadly one where you’d rather he stayed at home with some Lemsip. Battling for over half and hour, it’s a minor miracle that Hunter survived this. As is a serious throat injury at the previous PPV wasn’t enough, he was also dealing with a partially torn quad (yes, HHH’s physique was so gargantuan, and over inflated, that he kept re-injuring those quads through 2002). Thus, he’s very, very slow here and after two minutes or so, blown up and limping badly. Not to mention that his opponent, Shawn Michaels, had only a handful of matches prior to this, in the preceding FOUR YEARS. Not only that, but this wasn’t just any long PPV match, it was one with huge expectations self imposed, by the utterly ludicrous stipulations. The falls are, a street fight, a cage match, then, a ladder match.

Hence, we see tables and other weapons come into play within the first few minutes. It’s not long thereafter before a flaming barbed wire bat is ridiculously included, and fans become quickly desensitized to all the hijinks.

Also, a really irritating aspect of all this, that grates on most observers, is the fact that HHH is booked to emerge like a baby face. Taking the lead early, Michaels then levels the score in the Cage Match, supposedly Hunter’s environment. Then, in the finale, the Ladder match, which is undoubtedly HBK’s forum, see’s “The Game” pick up the clean victory. So yes, the heel wins clean, in a match that the baby face supposedly excels in. That’s fine for say, an up and coming star, but the problem here was, Triple H could not and did not need to be put over any more than he already had throughout the year. Additionally, since when was a Cage match Hunter’s specialty? I can remember two on PPV before, one of those being Rebellion 99, and the other, against Mick Foley in 1997 (plus the cage portion of the far superior HHH/Austin 3 Stages of Hell encounter in early 2001).

This is a challenging, exhausting affair, neither as dazzling and dynamic as their Summerslam 02 offering, nor as brutally epic as their later Hell In a Cell. Blown spots aplenty, atypical of both men, this one has the legacy of a curiosity, rather than the classic they were shooting for. Worth seeing for sure though. And if one thing is for sure, it was an important bout in reestablishing HBK’s direction in the company, and in further enhancing HHH’s reputation as a scarily convincing prick. Oh yeah, look out for the most long-winded figure four leg-lock since 1985! 

You won’t find this one, ever on any of my top list of anything, ever again (unless perhaps it’s a list of Vinnie Mac’s top ten matches, but let’s face it… that’s not something one wants to go through). It speaks volumes for overall poorness of Armageddon’s output, that this makes this list. It’s not genuinely bad though. Far from it, it’s impenitently watchable. But the big problem is, that it’s a complete one man show, featuring HHH, coming into his absolute peak, carrying the least sympathetic baby face in the history of professional wrestling.

Seriously, why the hell cheer for Vince? It doesn’t help that this goes HALF AN HOUR! Thirty minutes of crisp, dazzling, Vince athleticism! Pretty it ain’t. But storyline wise, this is one of the most crucial moments of WWE programming throughout 1999, as the ending features the “shocking” Stephanie heel turn (really, what did Vince think would happen? He attempted to “sacrifice” her to The Undertaker!) . It’s worth seeing for that alone, as it marked the beginning of the McMahon-Helmsley era, which like it or not, was one of the top rated periods of WWE television ever.

In short… Not a great match, but okay, and with a very important change in direction for the company. Never-mind the endless stream of fantastic Vince facial expressions.

And there you have it. I’d say it was close, and many others didn’t make the cut. But I’d be lying. These were easy to compile, because aside from one or two close calls, everything else that’s ever occurred at Armageddon has been as forgettable as the WWE gets. Either that, or it’s just downright sucked. 

Yes, Armageddon sucks. Fortunately, anticipation is riding high for this Sunday’s show. It oozes potential. I’ve heard comments from those who think Edge/Batista/Taker will be a classic- I don’t agree, that’s a little too strong, but it should be very, very good.

Jeff Hardy’s tie with Triple H could be a show-stealer, if Hunter feels like it. But if Hardy isn’t portrayed as an equal to “The Game”, the match will stink worse than a Mike Awesome gimmick.

Jericho/Orton? I’m confident this will be a great match, but have zero crowd heat, as Y2J simply is not winning that title, and nor should he, as he just isn’t over. The newer fans have been given little reason to really care about him, and support him, and it’s hurting what could have been an incredible run.

Kennedy/Michaels is exciting a lot of people, but I can’t see it being anything special.

The Punk/Kane tag will probably open, and be a complete shambles, while on the other end of the spectrum, MVP vs. Mysterio has superb potential. Finlay’s bout with Khali offers little promise, but has more intrigue than ninety per cent of the overgrown beasts offerings. As for the Women’s match, well it could be the best thing the division has given us in some time. I stress, could be.

But when you consider that half of that card could make Armageddon’s all time top-ten matches, it’s a wretched indication as to how poor and underwhelming this show usually is.

That’s it for now. Thanks for reading this nonsense. I hope it was at least as entertaining as a Mark Henry match, and more through-provoking than a Honky Tonk shoot. If you have any comments/questions/queries/or anything to say, get in touch at bazilalfonso@hotmail.com, whether you agree/disagree/hate me, or whatever if may be, I welcome all correspondence. Thanks again!