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SLAPSTRIKE PUNCHDOWN 'THE WAR FROM POLAND' PPV ON FITE.TV COVERAGE FROM WARSAW, POLAND

By Adam Cardoza on 3/20/2021 8:03 PM

SlapStrike/PunchDown “The War From Warsaw”

3/20/21 - Warsaw, Poland

Streaming on FITE.tv - 2pm EST

If you’ve been hanging around the odd sports corners of Youtube, you may have come across one of several “slap fight” videos that have been making the rounds. Maybe it’s the Dumpling knocking out a man with Synthanol arms on “Stone Faces” from Russia. Maybe it’s the Wolverine or Crazy Hawaiian putting the lights out with a single slap at “SlapFIGHT Championship” from right here in the US. But hopefully you understand the concept of two people taking turns, slapping the crap out of each other across a barrel until someone gives up or is KO’d. Well, SlapStrike & PunchDown are co-promoting to bring this viral sport sensation to FITE PPV today, featuring one of the men who put this on the map, Vasily “Dumpling” Kamotsky. 
 


Alright, so it’s slapfighting but there are RULES to this, which do vary a little from promotion to promotion. Here are what we’re working with today:

General Rules:

  1. At the "counter", the fight is controlled by judges who care about the safety of competitors and adherence to the rules of the fight.
  2. The duel is judged by three judges, two directly observing the fight and one analyzing replays.
  3. Each competitor entering the fight must have a mouthguard and ear protection.
  4. Each competitor entering the fight must have a mouthguard and ear protection.
  5. There are 3 rounds. In each of them, the participant has one hit.
  6. There must be people (supporters) at the competitor and the judges to protect the competitor from falling.
  7. Before the impact, the players rub talcum powder on their hands.
  8. The judges make the final, irrevocable decision.
  9. First slap is decided by coin toss. 

Ways To Win:

  1. Knockout (KO) - a competitor who, after being struck, cannot resume competition within 30 seconds (the decision about incapacity is made by the judges or the competition doctor based on the health of the competitor) incapable of the concept of further competition.
  2. TKO when a competitor or his support decides that the injury or injury is serious enough to prevent him from continuing the fight.
  3. By a point advantage.
  4. By disqualification.

Additional Rules on Judging, Posture, Tournament Structure and FORBIDDEN ACTS can be found on their official rules & regulations sheets: https://slapstrike.com/rules-and-regulations & https://slapstrike.com/competitor-regulations

So what’s on the card for today? SlapStrike is bringing us a 16-man slapfighting world championship tournament! TBH, I’m not sure if the plan is to do this entire tournament tonight but this could get REAL brutal/uncomfortable in the later rounds, seeing how some of these guys look after a single contest but we’ll cross that cringe bridge if we get there. 

Here are the brackets as they’ve been announced (card subject to change after all...so we’ll see what we get): 

On the far other side of the tournament bracket from the Dumpling is reigning PunchDown World Champion David "Zales" Zalewski...so if these two high level competitors do what they do as people hope/expect....maybe we have an epic final round clash on the cards? Then again...any given slapday. See: Brawl For All. Or like...ANY tournament. 
 


At the top of the card are two special attraction contests of Polish TV stars and social media influencers: PiotrI “Bonus BGC” Witczak vs. Warszawski Dresik and

Monika “Esmarelda” Godlewska vs. Anastasiya Yandaltsava

And we’re liiiiiiiiiive! On US commentary tonight, we have MATT STRIKER, DCH (Undefeated US Superheavyweight Champion “Da Crazy Hawaiian”) & VAMPIRO! As far as format goes, these 3 are watching the Polish feed of the show with us “Twitch-style”, to provide commentary. Striker announces that DCH has signed with SlapStrike and will maybe looking for a future fight with the Dumpling. DCH has a snake crawling on his shoulders while he mean mugs into the camera. This is great. 

I’m getting a little concerned there’s technical difficulties happening as we’re 10 minutes in and our commentary group is talking a little too deep on slap technique. No stream coming through from the Polish feed (“Starting Soon”). Striker says there are some safety protocols happening in the venue at the moment and the show will start soon.  

Vampiro: “Is that a snake on your head?”
DCH: “Yeah, it’s a snake on my head.”
Vampiro: “What is WRONG with you?”

We go to the “Starting Soon” frame as US commentary is given a breather. The mic is still on though and we hear Striker commend DCH for this trial by fire in tap dancing for time. “Us Three have a spiritual connection”. Curious how long we wait for now. 

ALRIGHT 3PM LET’S TRY AGAIN! Striker and Vampiro go through their intro’s again and bring DCH in, as a recent SlapStrike signee, an observer looking for a shot at the tournament winner....or just a matchup against The Dumpling, in general. 

Fight 1: Vasily “Dumpling” Kamotsky vs. Maciej “Kwiatek” Kwiatkowski (Opening Round)
Coin Toss Winner: Dumpling

Round 1: Dumpling is having an issue with the table being used is that it’s too wide for the reach. This is interesting as Vasily has clearly lost some weight since I last saw him on video. Dumpling lands solid but Kwiatek doesn’t stumble. DCH says this table is TOO THICK. Kwiatek swings and it’s solid but Dumpling absorbs it. 

Round 2: Dumpling CRACKS Kwiatek and he’s awake now. Kwiatek is fired up and swings hard. Dumpling leaning into it and Kwiatek looks like his hand is hurting a little. 

Round 3: Dumpling is still having trouble with the table. This is clearly giving him trouble with his ability to line up his shots and he’s complaining to the ref through his translator. This is taking more than the 60 seconds between slaps. Dumpling swings hard and Kwiatek stumbles a little but he’s up. Kwiatek lines up his shot....Dumpling is  like a rock. There’s a little controversy over this final slap, as Kwiatek went too low on the head with that last slap?

The referee disqualifies Kwiatek for that infraction....tbh, I’m not 100% sure what the infraction was.  

Winner: Vasily “Dumpling” Kamotsky (by DQ)

This was a little disconcerting as a start to this presentation. That table IS super wide but this felt like a NON-GOOD sign for the first match of your PPV with the highest profile competitor. I don’t feeel good about how Visiliy won here...he shouldn’t either...

Fight 2: Patryk “Petrju” Kornatowski vs. Maksymilian “Max” Le?niak (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Petrju

Round 1: Max is so tall and Petrju slaps him in the neck. This table is a problem. Max RIPS a loud slap and Petrju has a welt on his cheek already.

Round 2: Petrju loses his slap as a penalty from last round’s epic miss. This can’t go well. Petrju looks afraid. Another loud crack and Petrju looks like he’s holding back tears. He’s bleeding now. 

Round 3: Petrju swings and hits the chin this time but uh...it’s no good. Barely a dent in Max. Max winds up and switches sides to avoid hurting his opponents already injured left side. WOOF. Petrju should just give this up....why does he want to take this last hit? Max winds up and lands another loud shot. Petrju staggers up is still standing.

Winner: Maksymilian “Max” Le?niak (by Decision)

Alright alright alright. This is what I came to see. Those were some WALTER-sounding slaps. Petrju gutted that out.....WHY THOUGH. If Max has Dumpling next, I worry for Vasily. 

Fight 3: Daniel “Kisiel” Jakubowski vs. Artur “Walus” Walczak (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Kisiel

Round 1: Kisiel swings....good hit, Walus staggers a little. Walus measures up...CRACK! Kisiel crumbles and gets caught by his cornermen. He’s dizzy and we’re calling for the doctor....Kisiel is on his feet but he doesn’t wants another one of THOSE and he resigns. 

Winner: Artur “Walus” Walczak (by submission)

A former strongman champion, Walus is HUGE. This looked like a mismatch.....and maybe it was. This was the kind of slapfight semi-ko that we were waiting for. Wow.

Coverage continues on Page 2!


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