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By Adam Cardoza on 3/20/2021 8:03 PM

Fight 4: Lukasz “Nowicki” Nowicki vs. Dawid “Mali” Mlynski (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Nowicki

Round 1: Nowicki winds up....clean hit but Mali absorbs it. Mali winds up....loud hit! Nowicki has his chin to chest and takes it. They fist bump! It’s on!

Round 2: Nowicki swings but it’s pretty weak. It was a false start. Nowicki loses his real slap as a result. Mali lands another huge hit up the side of the head and Nowicki stumbles back a bit. This is going poorly for him.

Round 3: Nowicki is in do-or-die mode. He cracks Mali and he is stumbling HARD. This is ALMOST a KO. Easily the best hit so far. Can Mali finish it? Wind up.......Nowicki eats this one and flexes. 

Winner: Dawid “Mali” Mlynski (by Decision)

Nowicki is a former Punch Down champion but he looked way outsized here against Mali. This ALMOST went this way on that 3rd round shot. Nowicki is upset at the judge’s decision but Mali did hit 3 clean shots without penalty. 

Fight 5: Tomasz “Sergiej” Pachulski vs. Jakub “Vulpes” Lis (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Vulpes

Round 1: Vulpes hits clean across the chin but Sergiej eats it. Sergiej is impassive and , after a brief delay, cracks Vulpes so hard that he eyes roll back for a second....but he stays on his feet. This was weebles wobbling.  

Round 2: Vulpes winds up and causes Sergiej to buckle slightly. The ref warns Vulpes for going for the neck....but this dude is ALL neck. Sergiej cracks back and leaves a visible powdered handprint on his face.

Round 3: Vulpes swings and Sergiej stumbles slightly. Not much here. Sergiej is up to bat...another hit but not as good as round 2. They shake at the table and we go to the judges. 

Winner: Tomasz “Sergiej” Pachulski

This was pretty straightforward. No massive drama, just slapping. I think Vulpes may have had better hits but Sergiej was just HARD to move at his size. 

Fight 6: Maciej “Ciapek” Czapracki vs. Jakub “Dudzio” Dudczyk (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Dudzio

Round 1: Huge crack and Ciapek rocks like a metronome. Ciapek takes his’s a little weak. Maybe mis-measured as it goes off the beard more than the face. The table rocks as Ciapek kind of needs to dive over the table to make the hit.

Round 2: Dudzio cracks him and Ciapek crumbles. He gets caught but he’s not out. He takes out the mouthpiece to takes his 60 seconds. Ciapek doesn’t give in and takes another swing. He barely makes contact on the second shot. Uh oh.

Round 3: Here’s another case where someone should maybe give it up early. Dudzio swings but Ciapek absorbs this one without falling again. This is his last shot at pulling this victory out. Ciapek winds up...he puts everything into it but the table comes into play again. 

Winner: Jakub “Dudzio” Dudczyk (by Decison)

Hooooboy. Ciapek is a mass of a man but Dudzio looks like Braun Strowman. That said, the TABLE is a factor again. This is a huge problem for the shorter competitors, especially if they are matched against larger guys. 

Fight 7: Lukasz “Dunaj” Dunajko vs. Jakub “Hecman” Rygiel (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Hecman

Round 1: Dunaj looks super tense but eats a clean slap that seems to go through his chin and flexes to signal he’s okay. Dunaj hits low on the jaw while Hecman makes a scary open-mouth wolverine face. RAAAAAAAAAH, he seemed to say. I hope he doesn’t keep THAT up or he’s gonna get dislocated.

Round 2: Hecman winds up and hits SUPER SOLID. Dunaj is rocked a little but he’s still up. The betting odds just shifted a little in Hecman’s favor. Dunaj walks it off. Dunaj winds up....solid to the cheek and Hecman RAAAAAAAAHS through it again. 

Round 3: Hecman ready for his final shot. Loud hit and Dunaj’s knees go right out. His cornermen catch him and he is wobbly but conscious. He’s gonna take this last shot. He needs to hit this for the win. Dunaj powders up and hits solid but Hecman gives a huge “HAHAHAHAHA” like he’s a video game final boss. 

Winner: Jakub “Hecman” Rygiel (by decision)

This was a foregone conclusion after that second shot. Hecman doesn’t have the smartest defense, with his mouth open like that but he hits like a truck and is clearly a showman. 

Fight 8: Przemyslaw “Zimny” Zimny vs. David “Zales” Zalewski (Opening Round)

Coin Toss Winner: Zimny

Round 1: Zales is clearly ready for this hit. Chin to chest. He staggers a little bit from a solid shot but Zales is smiling. Zales powders up....swings....CRAAAAAACK. I FELT THAT. Zimny is staggers hard and holds his head with both hands, as if to ponder his existence. Zimny goes off the stage for medical attention as his nose is pouring blood from the slap. “I’ve never been hit so hard” he says to the interviewer. Zimny doesn’t give it up though. He wants back to the table. The medic is stuffing his nose with cotton to stop the blood but it’s not stopping. Zimny comes back to the table but the ref won’t let it continue.

Winner: David “Zales” Zalewski (by doctor stoppage)

Zales is clearly Poland’s Brock Lesnar. I get the impression that while this show was SOLD on the name of Dumpling, this tournament may be the world’s coming out party for Zales. 

We have a brief intermission while they prep for the next round of the tournament. Da Crazy Hawaiian is back to say “I’m HUNGRY for some Polish meat”. He’s super impressed so far but definitely wants some clarification and specifications on the rules of WHEN to slap and table size. DCH says he feels for Dumpling on how he’s having trouble with the table itself. He calls out Zales and Dudzio for future fights maybe. After 20 minutes, we’re back to the slapping!

Wait no....We’re having a rap battle? We can’t hear the audio from the room...only the English translator who is translating directly with no flow. This is a train wreck. Striker, Vampiro and DCH can’t contain themselves. We could have done without Rapper #2, who decided to go down the homophobic rabbit hole for his entire segment. The translator is a treasure though. Give them a bonus for keeping up with this wacky bs.

Fight 9: Vasily “Dumpling” Kamotsky vs Maksymilian “Max” Le?niak (Quarter-Finals)

Max cuts an interview before the match, saying he’s unimpressed with Vasily. Vasily doesn’t have much to say in response. 

Coin Toss Winner: Max

Round 1: Max readies. Dumpling’s chin is tucked. Loud crack but Dumpling doesn’t drop. The cotton flies out but he’s calm. Dumpling winds up and’s hard for him to make it that far. He swings....powder mark up Max’s face and he stumbles back slightly. 

Round 2: Dumpling checks his cotton before bracing for impact. Max throws to the other side this time and hits more neck than face. The side switching is an interesting tactic. Dumpling winds up again....he swings and Max definitely flinches. The refs don’t call that.

Round 3: Max winds up and hits loud to the left again. Dumpling absorbs it and Max may have hurt his hand there. Visily is smiling. Dumpling back to the table...Max leans back slightly but Dumpling connects and Max stumbles back. 

Winner: Vasily “Dumpling” Kamotsky (by DQ)

Max really did not want to take these slaps. It was clear he was slightly dodging from those shots. The ref says the match itself was a point draw but Max moving back to avoid the shot caused them to give the win to Dumpling due to the infractions. Another DQ win for Vasily. WOOF. Unlike last round, I do think Dumpling won here as he barely moved from these shots and Max stumbled. Max tells the interviewer that Dumplings slaps weren’t anything bad. This feels weird.

Fight 10: Artur “Walus” Walczak vs Dawid “Mali” Mlynski (Quarter-Finals)

Coin Toss Winner: Walus

Round 1: Mali definitely leaned away from this first shot. It’s not bad but Mali looks shook. The ref is repeatedly asking if he’s alright. Mali swings for the fences and Walus wobbles HARD. He’s rocked but he’s still up. Wow!

Round 2: Walus goes for the second hit. Mali leans slightly again and it comes off the shoulder slightly. Everyone sees it. Mali lines up for his second. Another loud crack and Walus staggers. He’s still up though. The ref is calling Mali out for his leaning, saying he is avoiding worse than Max in the last fight. 

Round 3: Walus lines up and Mali leans AGAIN. Walus keeps hitting the shoulder due to this. Mali measures up....loud again and Walus staggers but he’s up. They shakes hands after. Winner: Artur “Walus” Walczak (by DQ)

Mali should have won this on the merit of his strikes...but Mali kept leaning and dodging and the judges took the win from him. This means Dumpling and Walus have a date in the semi-finals. I’m GLAD the refs are keeping order here. 

Coverage concludes on Page 3!

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